If you can’t solve a situation with finger guns then the protocol requires an escalation to a rap battle. Here are the Top Ten Situations That Should Be Solved by a Rap Battle.
10. Presidential elections: Or the leadership of any country really. It’s the 21 st century, voting is so last century.
9. Court cases: I believe that either the lawyers or the defendant and the accuser should engage in a rap battle to determine the outcome. Imagine how exciting it would be to see someone rap their way to freedom? Or what if we could get out of traffic tickets with a good rap?
8. Your Final Destination: Regardless of your religion, there’s something that’s supposed to happen after death. If you can beat your deity in a rap battle you get to choose.
7. Every restaurant check: You versus the waiter or waitress for the check. You win and you don’t have to pay. How great would that be? I can’t say I’d win, but I’d practice for it.
6. Football games: Both American football and European Football. If the game ends as a tie in regulation a fan from each team comes out of the stands to midfield for a rap battle. Winner wins the match. That would guarantee a sellout of every game.
5. Darth Vader versus Luke Skywalker: Or maybe Harry Potter versus Voldemort. Both of those are better than a lightsaber or wand fight, right?
4. In school: If you can out-rap your teacher you get the grade you choose.
3. Negotiating for the price on a new car.
2. Every argument between spouses: No offense ladies, but you’d have to up your game for this one. No husband wants to be outrapped by his wife.
1. Baby names: A husband versus wife rap battle right there in the delivery room. That might be the best reality show ever. You watch a live birth and then get to see a rap battle for the right to name the child.
If you have any other ideas for funny situations that could be solved with a rap battle please put them in the comments. Have a great Tuesday!~Phil
