The Wedding Crashers vs. Congress

I heard something today that just drove me nuts. By now everyone knows the plot of the movie, Wedding Crashers. Two guys fake identities and crash weddings so they can meet women. In one, or more, of the scenes the guys claim to have earned a Purple Heart for sustaining an injury in war, just so they can impress girls. On the Wedding Crashers official website as part of a wedding crashers kit, there was a fake Purple Heart you could print out to wear to weddings. Needless to say, anyone old enough to be a veteran or a member of congress does not have a sense of humor and was predictably outraged by this display of disrespect. Either that, or they’re overly concerned about women sleeping with men they barely know. Congress is now hastily trying to make a law against pretending to have a Purple Heart medal. Look, if any woman is so dimwitted that she’ll sleep with a guy because he has a paper Purple Heart, then she deserves to be deceived. Besides, what harm is there really? She gets the thrill of thinking she’s sleeping with a war hero and the guy gets to sleep with her. Everyone goes home happy. Case closed.

This is just another example of Congress having way too little to do. The next time I go to H&R Block to get my taxes done and the accountant says “Would you like $3.00 of your return to be donated to the re-election fund?” you can bet your left arm (my apologies to those who are reading this with only one arm) that I will immediately shout, “Yes! Send the government as much money as they need because I’m pretty sure that someone somewhere is selling fake Boy Scout merit badges and I need Ted Kennedy to put a stop to it!” I rest easier at night knowing that congress isn’t wasting their time on such frivolous topics as the war on terrorism, global warming, gasoline that’s worth more per gallon than human blood or perhaps fixing the social security system so I won’t have to retire on the nickels I make from the Google ads on my other web page. Apparently our elected officials just can’t find enough important things to work on. If that is the case and we really do pay their salaries, then I’d love to see Hillary Clinton over here mowing my lawn in her down time. (By the way, the picture above is the original wedding crashers on which the movie is based. From left to right, Tom, Gooby, Chuck, and me)