All summer long my kids have gone to a day camp at school. Last week however, camp ended, leaving a two week gap until school starts. So of course we hired a babysitter. The daughter of a co-worker. A teenage girl. Now several years ago when I was a teenage boy, I was a big fan of teenage girls. As an adult, not so much. As a therapist who works with emotionally disturbed children and adolescents, I have never seen an angrier group of human beings than teenage girls. If you’re the mother of a teenage girl, I would fully understand why you drink so much. So anyway, I agreed to let one of these estrogen fueled psychopaths babysit my adorable and angelic little boys. I didn’t buy a nanny-cam because my kids are old enough to speak for themselves. When I got home and interrogated my little cherubs about how the babysitter did they replied, “It was fine. She slept in the chair all day.” Needless to say, although my boys were none the worse for wear, I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of them being virtually unsupervised all day. Of course I called the teenage Satan’s mother and politely asked that she remind her spawn, I mean daughter, to stay awake all day the next day. So on day 2 I get a phone call at 7:20 a.m. from the young demon’s mother saying that it was so unlike her daughter to sleep during the day that she just knew something was wrong and she took her to the emergency room last night and so she would not be available to babysit. I’m thinking that maybe it’s just because vampires aren’t supposed to be out in the daylight hours. I’m fairly sure that the young vixen was not in a coma. Unless I see a hospital monitor with a flatline I’m not going to forgive this kid. It appears to me that she was supported in her effort to gracefully quit her job after one day by her mother, whom I’m pretty sure was a teenage girl at one time.
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor. thephilfactor.com
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