The Narcoleptic Babysitter

All summer long my kids have gone to a day camp at school. Last week however, camp ended, leaving a two week gap until school starts. So of course we hired a babysitter. The daughter of a co-worker. A teenage girl. Now several years ago when I was a teenage boy, I was a big fan of teenage girls. As an adult, not so much. As a therapist who works with emotionally disturbed children and adolescents, I have never seen an angrier group of human beings than teenage girls. If you’re the mother of a teenage girl, I would fully understand why you drink so much. So anyway, I agreed to let one of these estrogen fueled psychopaths babysit my adorable and angelic little boys. I didn’t buy a nanny-cam because my kids are old enough to speak for themselves. When I got home and interrogated my little cherubs about how the babysitter did they replied, “It was fine. She slept in the chair all day.” Needless to say, although my boys were none the worse for wear, I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of them being virtually unsupervised all day. Of course I called the teenage Satan’s mother and politely asked that she remind her spawn, I mean daughter, to stay awake all day the next day. So on day 2 I get a phone call at 7:20 a.m. from the young demon’s mother saying that it was so unlike her daughter to sleep during the day that she just knew something was wrong and she took her to the emergency room last night and so she would not be available to babysit. I’m thinking that maybe it’s just because vampires aren’t supposed to be out in the daylight hours. I’m fairly sure that the young vixen was not in a coma. Unless I see a hospital monitor with a flatline I’m not going to forgive this kid. It appears to me that she was supported in her effort to gracefully quit her job after one day by her mother, whom I’m pretty sure was a teenage girl at one time.

8 responses to “The Narcoleptic Babysitter

  1. Oh Phil..I work in mental health…and if you think teenage girls are bad, try working with teenage girls who have mental illness……they’re a WHOLE other definition of hell

  2. Heh, you 2 have it easy, try working with both genders who are criminals!

  3. As the mother of an eight year old girl, I am NOT looking forward to the teenage years. They seem to enter ‘teenage phase’ at 10 these days though! :S

  4. Princess, I work in mental health too. I know how teenage girls are. Actually, I think all teenage girls should be required to have mental health treatment.

  5. Michelle…I work at an institution that is conduct AND mental…I work with it all. Criminals, mental illness….criminals WITH mental illness…and age ranges…8 to 21. Isnt social services FUN???And, as a teenage girl, I was an ANGEL! =)

  6. I was awful at 14. It’s an awful age.Thankfully, I dodged my mother’s curse* that one day I have a daughter just like myself. I have all boys. Heh.*completely understandable in retrospect

  7. I was doubled over in laughter at, “adorable and angelic little boys.” What kind of boys have you been raising? LOL

  8. I may have been a bit facetious when referring to my angelic little boys. If they’re mine though, how could they be anything but adorable?

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