A Three Hour Tour, A Three Hour Tour..

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Minnesota port aboard two tiny ships. Ironically the Minnesota Vikings football team “pleasure” cruise on Lake Minnetonka was scheduled for a three hour tour. Sadly the Vikings football players could have used some Viagra because their boat ride only lasted 40 minutes. But it was not because the weather started getting rough and the tiny ships were tossed. In this case there was also no fearless crew either. The crew turned the ships around and returned to port because they were fearful of being impaled by a Viking spear. In the business world my company will often organize office retreats or team building exercises. This is apparently what Fred Smoot was trying to do for his team. With the Vikings team falling apart on the field Smoot decided that the guys need a morale booster on their week off. So he and others hired two boats and 20 entertainment “professionals” for a boat “ride.” I wonder how many of them were named Ginger and Mary Ann? Or at least claimed to be. I wonder if Onterrio Smith brought his Whizzinator to impress the ladies? (Reference May 11 “Gee Whiz” post)

It never ceases to amaze me that young men who are paid to millions of dollars to play a game continue to find new and ridiculous ways to embarrass themselves. Whether it’s gambling, hookers, steroids, illegal drugs, or domestic violence these guys just can’t seem to stop finding ways to piss away (sorry, Onterrio Smith reference) what most of us would do for a tenth of what they get paid. We’re paying money to play fantasy sports at what these morons get paid millions to do and they can’t stop finding ways to screw it up. They say money can’t buy you happiness. I believe money can buy you happiness, but as the professional athletes keep reminding us, it sure doesn’t buy you brains.