Celebrate Good Times, C’mon!

I’m a sports fan. I enjoy playing sports and watching them. I wish I enjoyed my job as much as professional athletes do. These guys seem to celebrate virtually any move they make as if they’ve just vanquished a lethal foe or won the lottery. Well if it’s good enough for professional athletes it’s good enough for me. I think we should all approach our jobs with the verve and zest for life that professional athletes do. Starting tomorrow I’m going to dance and hoot and pose every time I perform any basic function of my job. I work in an office. This should go over well. The first time I manage to run off a few copies that get collated and stapled I’m shouting out “Who’s the Man?!!?” After my mailman spikes my bills into my mailbox I’d like to see him give me a chest bump and then do a backflip off of my front step. During a colonscopy why don’t we hear more doctors shout “No polyps here! Not in MY house!!” When I go to the bank to deposit the enormous check I make from writing this blog I want to hit fists with the teller and the see her hop up on the counter and do the worm (that’s not so much funny as it is a fantasy of mine). If I don’t get a raise at my next performance evaluation at work I can’t wait to do the throat slash gesture and back out of the room pointing ominously at my supervisor. That will let her know who’s the man.

I suppose it’s great that professional athletes take so much pride in their work. Some day I hope I have a job I enjoy as much as they do. Until then I think I’ll employ these ideas in my sex life. “Hey baby, you want a piece of me? Who’s the man? Bring it on!” I’ll be keeping a 20 gallon container of Gatorade next to the bed for the final celebration.

5 responses to “Celebrate Good Times, C’mon!

  1. Ummmm . . .*glass clink sound*Here’s to you Phil. For making those copies.

  2. Erm…sounds like a lot of fun. I get applause from my students sometimes.But may I just say…while you are a sports fan…your job is far more important than theirs…even if the paycheck doesnot reflect it.And as far as bringing it into the bedroom…I’d go for something nicer than gatorade…or at least use glasses.-N

  3. Hey… if you wanna have fun with your sex life and keep a 20 gallon keg of Gatorade by your bed and all that… that’s cool… but I sure hope you have a bathroom attached to your bedroom!

  4. Can you have someone video tape your day at the office? Sounds like a “must see” to me.You never know….you may even earn an Academy Award nomination for your Sports Envy Documentary!By the way, I had a visual of Cuba Gooding Jr. doing his victory dance in Jerry McGuire while I was reading your post.

  5. lol. I can just see your wife now becoming the envy of all your female bloggers. :0)

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