Don’t Stand So Close To Me

“Her friends are so jealous
you know how bad girls get.
Sometimes it’s not so easy
to be the teacher’s pet.”

In an effort to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, schools in the United States are teaching sexual education earlier and earlier. It’s not unusual for children 10 and 11 years old to be learning how their bodies work and where babies come from. I’m fine with the education; I just wish so many teachers wouldn’t take a “hands on” approach to the subject.

It happened again. In North Carolina last week a 36-year-old female teacher was arrested for having sex, on school grounds, with an 11-year-old male student. Judging from her picture on the news I can see why she may have been a little hard up for male companionship, but c’mon, an 11 year old?!!? Are you telling me that she couldn’t have skipped the PTA meeting, hit the local bar, found a guy with some serious beer goggles on and gotten jiggy with it? Then again, this did happen in North Carolina, a state where marrying your cousin is considered marrying outside the family.

Sadly though, this type of occurrence isn’t limited to backwoods towns in the deep South. There was Pamela Smart who convinced her teenage student lover to knock off her husband. She must have offered him serious extra credit for that. Then there was Mary Kay Litorno who had a child by her 12 year old student, went to jail for 5 years, and then promptly hooked up with him again upon her release, just in time for the prom! When I was 11 or 12 years old I couldn’t get a girl my age to talk to me. Apparently I was focusing on the wrong demographic.

I have no idea why these middle-aged women find pre-pubescent boys attractive, but what I do know is that all women need to stop complaining about the societal pressures to look young and beautiful. You think looking like a 22-year-old model is tough? Apparently if I want to attract women my age I’m going to have to get braces on my teeth, shave off my body hair, and buy a skateboard.

21 responses to “Don’t Stand So Close To Me

  1. Oh my gosh! 11 years old!!! That is completely disgusting. We’re talking about women who have some serious mental issues. Ugh. i can’t even think about this anymore.

  2. We had a similar story over here recently, also. Don’t get it, myself. Can’t see anything in an 11 or 12 year old boy, other than a friend for my daughter … they are kids. I mean, that’s really low … these women must be pretty hard up, I think !!It’s just not normal. Yuck !!

  3. ughhh!

  4. I have enough trouble thinking of 20 year old males as sexual granted that could be because my son is almost 20, don’t get me wrong, I look, but to think of having sex….I much prefer someone closer to my own age demographic. I have pondered this topic before, here in hometown it was reversed–young male teacher with three separate 13 year old girls, at the time I thought it was because he got lost in their idolatry of him…..these female teachers though….I cannot wrap my brain around it…..btw you are just FINE the way you are 🙂

  5. I didn’t think 11-year old boys were already physically mature enough to do this, but I guess I was wrong… It seems kids hit puberty earlier and earlier these days.Perhaps these women just like to exert control over their partner and I imagine that these young boys just hold them high in admiration and therefore let themselves be fooled into thinking they’re in love with these women.

  6. People are making their kids grow up too quick, it’s ad in a lot of families, 11 and 12 year olds are left to fend for themselves and they find love where they can. No excuse for what these women have done to take away their innocence. I have young boys and i would definitely have a problem with a middle age woman pursuing them. can i link to your blog, you have such great info to share…pretty please?

  7. I’d be careful on that skateboard. You could break something! 😉

  8. Those women who target young boys are no less the sexual predators than men who seek young girls for the same purpose. A pedophile is a pedophile regardless of gender.

  9. I agree completely with Bobciz.(oh, and good luck with that Phil.)

  10. OMG!!! It is so sad…. I feel bad for the kid, how messed up is he going to be in later life? Tawnya

  11. Actually, there was this guy that my room mate used to date when we were in university the first time around. He hung out at out place everyday for a few months…..and Just 6 weeks ago, he was arrested for having sex with his students, and is now in prison. That creeped me out

  12. I, being from NC, have heard of this story and was quite shocked. I firmly believe that these woman have always had something wrong in their brains, who would ever be able to justify this to themselves! Now on a lighter note – NC is not the backwoods, lol. We do not consider marrying our cousin to be marrying outside the family. Also, if you say to anyone in NC that they are in the Deep South, they will laugh their ass off. I am saying this of course being a true New Englander, and have lived here only 1 year but really, its not that bad here!

  13. As a teacher, I vow to you that I will NEVER become… ahem… intimately involved with one of my students, male OR female!In my classroom, my “teacher’s pet” is the one who grades papers for me. The way I see, I need to take advantage of my students’ willingness in a way that is most beneficial for us BOTH. And trust me… if they will grade papers, put up bulletin boards, etc. then I can get to bed earlier… and THAT is most beneficial!Like you said, Phil… if I want to “get jiggy with it”, I can satisfy those needs without requiring my students’ assistance.

  14. Just so you know, I would have much rather read “The Door Part III” than this topic. I can’t stand to even think about things such as this. I know it happens, and I can’t stick my head in the sand and pretend as though it doesn’t. I just can’t imagine what could be going on in these women’s heads! Okay, I can’t think about it anymore. Going to go clear my thoughts now.

  15. Yes, I agree with everyone that the eeeew factor is high on this one and despite that I still found a way to make jokes about it.Doni- Of course you can link me on your blog. I’m flattered. Thank you!Berly- You’d be surprised at how well I can still skateboard.Erin- I just referred to NC as backwoods and made the cousin marrying jokes to exploit the stereotypes for the purpose of humor. Kim, Thanks for preferring The Door over pedophiles. At least that’s something for me.

  16. Yeah, I was going to give you hell about the NC reference, then I remembered my ex-stepmom married her cousin. But seriously it’s not common and it WAS after she had part of her brain removed after an aneurysm.

  17. 11? Gross. WTF goes through these chicks minds? Actually i already know the answer to that…..still, as a 42 yold woman the thought of an 11 yold kid…well i just wouldn’t think it…simple.

  18. you sure get a lot of comments from pretty (and young-ish) women on your blog, Phil!

  19. No way. I could not go there. I don’t get it. And one thing I love about my husband is his hairy chest. Men without hair is so bizarre to me.

  20. Yes Justine, all the comments on my blog are from beautiful, young women. I mean that sincerely of course.

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