All I Ever Need To Know I Learned From The Golden Boys

Here is my equivalent of “All I Ever Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten.” These are things that I’ve learned in the company of my friends over the years:

1. More often than not, a group of shirtless men walking through an affluent Chicago neighborhood will result in a call to the police by someone.

2. If you wake up to find people eating whipped cream and strawberries off of your body, lie very still until they’re done.

3. The wedding receptions are much more fun than the rest of the marriage.

4. If you drink alcohol you are not responsible for your own actions. They are.

5. If something bad happens to you when you’re sleeping, naked, or drunk, it’s your own fault for getting that way in the first place.

6. There is nothing you can do that is too stupid. (This one could include an extensive list attached which would include several misdemeanors.)

All in all though, if there are “The 5 People You Meet in Heaven,” I want the first three to be the rest of the Golden Boys. After that I choose Stephen King and whomever leaves the most comments on my blog.

23 responses to “All I Ever Need To Know I Learned From The Golden Boys

  1. Awwwww, that was lovely :o)Stephen King, hmmm, a complex character.

  2. #5. If something bad happens to you when you’re sleeping, naked, or drunk, it’s your own fault for getting that way in the first place. — This should be an official quote or something. That’s brilliant!! (and who hasn’t been there…many times all three at the same time!!!) Have a great weekend!

  3. what if your drunk and sleeping naked? and i have actually met stephen king, pretty cool guy.

  4. Hilarious! The Golden Boys rock!

  5. I think it depends entirely on who happens to be eating the whipped cream and strawberries, and off what part of my body.Can I choose both the eater and body part?

  6. hey flip, wanna know how many omelets I’ve made so far????..I have the same effect on people to sometimes..if you know what i mean, thats why i’m so forgiving…(HA HA )….

  7. whipped cream and strawberriesyummmy….. *licking my lips like a cat who just had some cream*lying still in this situation is NOT always the best response

  8. Well, I won’t be one of the five, but ya know where to find me if ya feel like …..playin a lil closer to the fire…****sweet innocent smile***

  9. Number 4 is my favorite. I tell people that ALL the time.

  10. Don’t numbers 4 and 5 sorta contradict each other? So, what happened to the Golden Boy Tom post? Seriously, you can tell me and I won’t tell a soul.And why do I always the the really long WV codes? ouozkywz? That’s nuts!

  11. I had that strawberries and whipped cream thing happen to me. I had to go into therapy for it. 🙂

  12. After that I choose Stephen King <>and whomever leaves the most comments on my blog.<>Hahahaha!!!

  13. Its been fun reading about the boys. Too bad we all don’t have such great friends!I wish I would see a group of shirtless men walking through my neighborhood right now!Have a great weekend Phil!

  14. you know… sleeping naked & drunk isn’t that bad… except that if you mix the strawberries & whipped cream in at the same time it can get a bit messy……..hummmm…………………DAMN – word verification FINALLY got me!

  15. Michelle- I have found several very eerie similarities between myself and Stephen King. I only hope that the writing success is soon to follow.G-Man- Yeah, I have it stitched on a pillow.d.- I’m very jealous that you met Stephen King. Have him give me a call. I have a few questions for him.Sherbears- Yes, The Golden Boys do indeed ROCK.Ian- You make a valid point about who and where, but sometimes if you’re asleep. you don’t always have that choice.

  16. Fancy Face- Thanks for forgiving me. It probably won’t be the last time.Question Girl- Hmmmm…licking your lips? I like that.Jessica- If you’re the fire, I’m sure it must be a hot one.Berly- The Golden Boys are responsible for your actions too? Which one got you pregnant then?Geewits- No, they make perfect sense. You’re just not looking deeply enough within yourself.

  17. Gary- Thank god I was only a witness to that one.Say Rah! Why are you laughing? I’d love to meet all my blog friends someday.Layla- I agree. Everyone should have friends like these.Question Girl- Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

  18. Just so everyone knows, the word verification on my last comment box was the toughest I’ve ever come across and I nailed it on the first try.

  19. I think the whole point is that you “meet them” in heaven, Phil. Not “get to hang out in heaven” with them. Then again, I didn’t read the book so who knows.That whipped cream thing …um.HA. My word verification is IIFKU. And then I FKUed it up and got a new word. Damn!

  20. May I just say…can I be an honorary ‘Golden Boy’? Please?I’m pretty sure I’d fit right in…the bit about the strawberries really hit home.

  21. who said i haven’t tried it… more to the point, who said it wasn’t my idea………….*licking whipped cream off my finger*

  22. OMG! I love this list!

  23. If I got a shot at seeing you three in my neighborhood, the only reason I’d be picking up my phone would be to take a picture!

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