The Wedding Crashers Part III

Earlier I alluded to the fact that Gooby giving me drinks with 151 rum all night was a bad idea. It was a very bad idea. Admittedly, I’m a lightweight when it comes to drinking. Gooby works on his tolerance like it’s a job. I don’t have time for that. I’m too busy writing this blog. After we returned to my cottage I somehow got separated from my two friends. Fearful I had lost them somewhere in the woods I went in search of them. There are no streetlights where my cottage it. It’s pitch black outdoors at 1:00 in the morning. Tonight there was no moon either. Usually there’s no sound but the waves of the lake lapping at the shore. Tonight however, there was a new sound. A sound I don’t usually hear at night, music. Like a moth to a flame I was drawn to it. I figured that if there was a party somewhere my friends had probably found it. I stumbled down the little dirt road in the dark, following the music and as I went further, seeing light peeking between the trees at the dead end. Despite the small road coming to a dead end I could hear the music loudly now and see lights through the trees. Without hesitation I walked straight towards the music, through the woods, brambles and branches clawing at me. I was determined that nothing would stop me from finding my lost, drunken friends. As I neared the edge of the trees I couldn’t believe what I saw. A wedding reception! Two in one night, what are the chances I thought?

I swayed uncertainly on the edge of the clearing, not seeing my friends, but just as certain that if there was a party going on they must be somewhere in the midst of it. Then like a bolt from the blue I spied her. Someone I knew was out here, at a wedding reception in the woods, 45 minutes from home. My long, lost love! Ok, no, it wasn’t. I’m kidding. It was the woman from the Human Resources office at work. If I still had any sense I would have taken my big, drunk head and hidden in the woods so that no one from work would see me in this condition. Of course I didn’t have any sense and I swayed and weaved my way right into that wedding reception to talk to her. I talked to her for probably ten minutes. Other than explaining that I was looking for my friends I have no idea what else I said before I wandered off through the obstacle course of tables and dancers (but not table dancers)while I looked for my friends. Not finding my friends, but also not being forcibly ejected from the reception, I pushed my way back through the woods and down the dark, dirt road shouting my friends name.

When I finally returned to my little cottage what did I find there? My friends of course. Tom had turned in for the night, but Gooby was willing to accompany me back down the road to see the wedding reception. It was after 1 a.m. by now but I was still able to follow the music back to it’s source. Gooby however still had a little more sense than I and kept me from re-joining the reception. We made our way back down the quiet, dark road, but not before Gooby picked me up from the ground twice. Once because apparently gravity was particularly strong in that spot and the other time because I was attempting to climb over a fence while Gooby found and opened the gate mere feet away from me. There are no more stories from that night except for the fact that at two different times both Tom and I had walked foreheads first into a closed sliding glass door.