The musical reference in the title is so embarrassingly cheesy that I’m not even going to ask anyone to identify it. I’d like to pretend that it was just a coincidence that I chose those words, that I don’t really have that song running through my head. I’d like to pretend that I don’t know the rest of the lyrics. Sadly however, none of the aforementioned is true. My brother had the album. Yes, I said album. On vinyl. I was little. I thought it was cool. I now know better, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t unlearn those songs. It just kills me to know that there is a section of my brain that is entirely devoted to Loverboy lyrics.
This post is evolving as I write it. I was going to write about ways we kill time at work on a slow Friday afternoon, such as the one I had today. Then as I began to write the above paragraph about the title I realized that it might be much more fun to think about the useless things that are taking up valuable space in our brains. Space that we can never get back without electro-shock therapy, which I’ll have you know, still goes on regularly today. I know a doctor who does it.
Here is a list of things that are taking up invaluable space in my brain, space that I wish I could recover and put to better use.
1. Lots of lyrics to lots of bad music.
2. 77. That is the number of days I was dating my 12th grade girlfriend when she broke up with me two days before a concert that I already had bought expensive tickets for. I lost $15 selling her ticket to a friend the day before the show. Whenever I hear the number 77 that is what I think of.
3. The fact that the guy who played the oldest boy in The Sound of Music later played Spider-Man in a 1970’s t.v. show.
4. The word usufruct.
5. Todd Bridges and Dana Plato were getting jiggy with it when Diff’rent Strokes was on the air.
6. The fact that I still know who Todd Bridges and Dana Plato are.
7. I still remember a badly done civil war re-enactment myself and several friends did as a Social Studies presentation in the 4th grade. We basically just played guns in front of the class and tried to pass it off as a history lesson.
8. I remember walking around outdoors in just a diaper while my dad changed the oil in our car. I was about 1 ½ years old at the time. It’s amazing that I remember that random event, but why? I also still remember that the diaper was full.
9. A dog my family had for 3 weeks when I was 14. If we had kept the dog, fine, use up some brain cells remembering it, but it was too old to be house trained when we got it, so we returned it.
10. At the shelter where we got the dog it cost $25 to adopt a dog and only $10 for a cat. When we returned the dog we took home a cat, so as far as I know, my family still has a cat and a half credit at the shelter. (Cat and a Half Credit would be a great name for this post or for a rock band)
Those are but a few of the millions of useless things that are taking up space in my brain. What do you find when you rummage through the back of the closet in your mind?
The stuff in my brain usually falls into two categories:1. Decisions that have yet to be made. When faced with a decision, I usually throw it all into the recesses of my brain and let it cook. When ready, the decision just sort of shoots out. But there are a whole bunch back there which are still processing2. “Why the hell is that still there?” Innane trips down Memory Lane, tiny snippets from long ago. Like the time I tripped on a step and hit my front tooth (1st grade) or a fleeting memory of a navy blue jacket with snowflakes on it, feeding ducks (3 years old). Funny, I couldn’t tell you the last name of the guy I dated in November, but I still remember the time Ann Alger and I went wading in a pond and she cut her foot, using one of my anklets to staunch the flow, getting me in trouble for going wading in the first place. 1134 – the number of boxes of Girl Scout cookies I sold the year they gave out tshirts for a prize to whomever sold the most. Sadly, I was too fat to fit into that ugly thing. 1 – the number of dates I’ve had in the new millenium.
If I told you, I’d have to kill you.
Why does Phil have a blog?Where does he come up with this funny shit?Why do I have a blog?Why isn’t mine as funny as Phil’s?Is it five o’clock yet?
Hmmmm, the things in my brain are also quite bizarre … some how that Todd Bridges and Dana Plato one is in mine, too … scary !!! “What’cha talkin’ about Phil !!!”Anyway, hope you have a great weekend.Take care, Meow
one useless random thought that resurfaces once in a blue moon: in kindergarten i had a crush on a boy with red hair & freckles, named mike whitehouse. he had a huge bday party with a real live homemade carnival. i won a string puppet at the go-fish booth. i still think that was one of the coolest parties i’ve ever been to. i’ll have to think of other useless facts.
I took 3 years of Spanish AND have lived in Texas for around 26 years and yet when anyone asks me if I can speak Spanish I always burst out, “I can say ‘windshield wipers’!”sziqumtr(That’s my word verification, not the Spanish word for “windshield wipers.”)
She Geek- I’m particularly curious about why our brain retains some random facts that we’l never have use for but forgets where we put our car keys half the time. You need to get more dates.Bobciz- Fair enough. It wasn’t that important of a question.Sherbears-1. Because my friend suggested it.2. The funny shit comes out the part of my brain that remembers the useless shit.3. You have a blog because you are unique and funny and needed a place to express yourself to like-minded others.4. Your comments are always as funny as my whole blog.5. Yes, it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere. (That’s good! Maybe I’ll right a song about that)
Meow- Why Todd Bridges and Dana Plato are in anyone’s head is a mystery to me!McKay- OMG! That is the best, shortest story I’ve ever heard. For that you win The Phil Factor string puppet! It’s on it’s way in the mail.Geewits- You can’t do that to us! What’s Spanish for windshield wipers?Here’s my word verification. It almost looks like a swear word: fuxkac
That explains SO much Phil. :o)
Hi Linny! Where’s your obscure Linny-memory. Don’t cop out!
Well, if you think you’ve got it bad, try walking around with the telletubbie theme song playing in your head for three weeks… I might be willing to undergo shock therapy to get that out.
Choochoo- LOL!
Dana plato died….she was a heroin addict I think. (Either way, she had a substance abuse problem)…but ya. She’s dead.
Windshield wipers:Las Limpia ParabrisasI remember it because it translates directly as: The cleaning for winds
Hehehehe The Sound of Music was on tv here last night. I have never seen it before so i decided to watch just to see the oldest boy!!
did yoy know that Dana Plato is dead? over dose when she was 35..if she was still alive she would be around my age…and and Todd Bridges was arrested for murder sure he didn’t do it but still…you know just between you and me I liked watching that show when I was young..let me see..mmmm..what was it that the short kid always said? “what you talking about”?yup the good old eighties…..
Princess- Thank you for your uplifting comment. I believe she and Todd were getting jiggy with it before she died. At least I hope so.Geewits- Thank you. Now I’ve learned something new today.Michelle- That’s great! I’m glad I could influence your viewing habits. Furthermore, The Sound of Music is a true story and the family eventually settled in Vermont, USA. I’ve visited their lodge.Fancy Face- Princess beat you to the punch about Dana’s death. I knew that too, but who wants to write about death. It’s not like it’s ever going to happen to me anyway. But if it does, maybe I’ll get jiggy with Dana in the afterlife.
I just found you through the ScrappyCrafter. As soon as I saw the title of this post that damned Loverboy song started bouncing around my skull. ThanksI share that same affliction. In fact I can usually respond in most conversations with an appropriate piece of a song lyric.paul
well, i now have loverboy in my head…other random crap that doesnt leave1) the cruel taunts i heard as a kid because i wasn’t a size 02) the cruel taunts i heard as a kid because i was always injuring myself playing sports3) all the foods i am attempting to avoid while undergoing my “life style change” (as diet is a short term process)4) the “reason” i have been dumped by every guy who has dumped me5) my first time 😉6) the sesame street theme7) the fraggel rock theme8) what i have to do over the next 3 weeks (without having to look at a calander)yeah, i’m gonna stop there
Hi Phil, I thought I’d drop by and see what youre up to – it’s weird but some of the useless information you have stored in your head is also in mine (Different Strokes info etc.). There was this woman on Oprah once who was completely traumatised by the letter Q. She was on the quiz show ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ and lost the game all because she didn’t say the right letter. That piece of trivia popped into my head when I read that you have that girlfriend flashback when you think of the number 77. I have a weird thing that goes on in my head over 11:11 when I see it on digital clock. I feel this warm fuzzy feeling when I see it. Much later when I was looking up Uri Geller (I have a strange fascination with him), he had all these weird and wonderful facts about those numbers on his website. Have a great day, Sheila.
1. We just had a little debate about shock therapy in class this weekend.2. I was born in ’77. Does that make you feel OLD!?!?3. I remember the episode of Different Strokes when Kimberly thought her boyfriend might be racist, so she made herself look like a black girl for prom.And the number one thing that haunts my cerebrum?? WHY oh WHY are 80’s clothes coming back!?!?!?
Puhpaul- Thanks for stopping by and welcome to The Phil Factor. You’re welcome for the Loverboy.Question Girl- There is just too much to laugh at in your comment. BTW, I still love the Seame Street theme song.Sheila- I like 11:11 on a digital clock or watch. Always have. I also still love your pic. Thanks for stopping by.CC- Yes, I’m ancient, I know. But at least I don’t remember specific Diff’rent Strokes episodes. That’s just sad.