Hi. My Name is Phil and…

I’m a cell phone person. They say the first step is admitting it. My long time blog friends who have read my ongoing series of rants against “cell phone people” will appreciate the irony here. For those of you new to the show, I have long railed against the idiocy of “cell phone people.” Those inconsiderate morons who speak loudly and indiscretely into their cell phones no matter where they are. Those people who think they’re so important they need the Bluetooth affixed to their head 24/7. Those people who have tendinitis in their thumbs from texting. The ring tone losers who are constantly asking you to listen to their new ring tone which they update every two days. All these people deserve their own special level in hell. That has been my position on cell phones in a nutshell.

Fast forward to now. I just started a new job. They issued me a cell phone which I must have on from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm every work day. So because of this, I broke down and bought a holster for my work phone so it didn’t look like I have a tumor in my pocket, or something else. I will also have to drive around quite a bit for my new job, so I bought one of those ear pieces so I can talk on the phone while driving. So now, I spend every day walking around with two cell phones and a PDA on me and I have that stupid earpiece in whenever I’m in my car. I feel ridiculous. I don’t think the astronauts have this much technology on them when they go for a spacewalk. Also because I drive around a lot I bought a GPS device for directions. I’m sure I’m getting some sort of tumors already from all the radio signals and beams of electricity criss-crossing my body. I love the new job, but I hate being a cell phone person.