I am Pro-Choice (It’s not what you think)

As the political races are getting into high gear I thought I’d come out with one of my most important political statements. I AM PRO CHOICE. No, not in the political hot potato sense of the phrase. My personal, political and religious beliefs aren’t fervent enough to hold up to public scrutiny. But I AM PRO CHOICE. Here is the choice that I want:

When I walk into a public restroom, I would like the opportunity to choose if I want to dry my hands with a paper towel, or if I want to stand there like a dope rubbing my hands together under the pathetically underpowered air dryer. Whose hands do these things actually dry? Don’t we all just end up wiping our hands on our pants as we walk out anyway? If you actually want your hands dried by these machines you’d have to stand there long enough that anyone you came with would probably think you had escaped out of the bathroom window. If you actually use a hand dryer to full effect everytime you use a public restroom you’ll probably waste hours of your life each year and in the long run waste a significant portion of your finite time on Earth rubbing your hands together under what amounts to nothing more than the same breeze you’d get if you just walked around waving your hands in the air. The air dryers are fine for anyone who wants to save trees, but I resent the places that have made the choice for you and don’t provide any type of paper towels at all, forcing you to use the hand dryer, or worse yet, trying to dry your wet hands with toilet paper that will only tear and stick all over your hands.

When I become President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first…(you know the rest)

7 responses to “I am Pro-Choice (It’s not what you think)

  1. yay – you’re back! i would normally agree with you on this “dryer” issue. however… i was recently in NYC and i encountered a new model by the dyson people. it actually works! i made my whole family visit the restroom and all were impressed. maybe we’re just dorks though…http://www.dysonairblade.com/

  2. Hey darlin’!I am a non-practicing treehugger, thus I have to disagree with you. Yes there are times when I lose patience and wipe my hands on my jeans, but at some point as I aged, I realized, those few moments wasted in the ‘drying” are better than all the wasted paper.How are you?

  3. Sarah- LMAO! I am definitely not going to look up a restroom handryer online.Sunny- I’m as much a treee hugger as the next guy, which is to say, not much, but you know what? Trees are a renewable resourse. We can plant more when I use up all the paper towels.

  4. I shake my hands off in the sink and then wipe them off on my pants. Always.

  5. c’mon phil… you know you want to look.

  6. It’s been over a month since your last post and you’re fussing at ME????!!!! :o)

  7. when i become President (or i suppose it would be Prime Minister, eh?) i am going to have a band follow me around every where i go and whenever i get introduced in a room they will play “Eye of the Tiger”…in fact my first Phil Taylor friend and I had talked about going on tour and only playing that song over and over but just different versions of it…punk…lounge act…metal…rap…opera…now i know you would have bought a ticket to see that shit huh?

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