During my overnight flight to London I fell asleep. When I awoke I found myself tied down, flat on my back, with dozens of tiny Englishmen scurrying about. Either the English are extremely small or I had become a giant overnight. At first they were fearful and in no mood to free me, but when I said I had to pee they relented. I gained their trust and they finally allowed me to roam freely. At first I won them over with my charm to the point that they even put a sign on the side of their iconic red, double decker buses:
I apologize for the blurriness, but the buses in London always travel as if they’re trying to achieve warp speed. But I did say “Touchbase” fourteen times. You know how the British paparazzi are. They followed me and wrote down everything I said.
I couldn’t wait to see the most iconic monuments in London and Paris. Sadly though, because of me being a giant over there, they weren’t as impressive as they look on TV.
This is the glass pyramid entrance to The Louvre in Paris. For a pyramid, not that big..
They really took offence when I sat down on Stonehenge. I thought it was an outdoor toilet. Obviously I’m not going to post that picture. After a day of my stomping about picking up their monuments as if they were toys, the Brits and the Parisians got sick of me and set up a website imploring their governments to have me deported. Again, I found this out when I saw the advert on a double decker bus that whipped by my ankle at 700 mph. Here’s the link to the site: BeatPhil.com
At the end of the day I went to Piccadilly Circus to meet the King of England for a break dance battle to settle our differences. I let him win to help repair relations between myself and England. How sweet is that outfit, right?
Since I just got back last night I didn’t have time to write a narrative post about my trip but I will probably do so one or more times in the coming week, As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor I’d love it if you did that social media sharing thing by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil
Oh, I thought your Stonehenge experience would have been more along the lines of “This is Spinal Tap.” 😉
LOL, good one. Actually, sadly I didn’t have time to get to Stonehenge. I really wanted to but had to actually do work stuff a bit while I was over there.
Welcome back Phil! Really surprised they are still letting you back in the country, ( although your story does sound a bit fishy)
Yeah, it always surprises me when I get through customs going into any country.
I’ve been wondering how you found London – I take it you had a good time?
I had a great time. Loved the city!
Waiting to hear what really happened.
I will definitely write more this week. I enjoyed my time there immensely.
Nice! Did you see any Pearly Kings or Queens? Cheers.
Some friends of mine saw the Queen when she went out for something.
The pearly kings wear black suits decorated with white buttons. I have no idea why. Some things are just different here. But I did see the Queen once, we locked eyes. It was just great.
I did see some pearly kings once! I didn’t know they had a name until now.
Cool. I’ll have to blog about them!