Hollywoodreporter.com
This is my second annual edition of The Snap Judgement Oscar Awards where I give my Oscar Awards based on my own convoluted reasoning without having seen most of the movies. I hope it will eventually become syndicated feature that Entertainment Tonight pays me to do for their website each year and then eventually they’ll invite me into the studio on Oscar night to do a pre-Oscars Snap Judgement Oscar Awards ceremony. I considered giving all the awards to Beyonce just so Kanye wouldn’t storm my blog demanding justice. Without further doo doo, here are The 2015 Snap Judgement Oscar awards!
Best Supporting Actor: This one was easy. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actor goes to J.K. Simmons for his role in Whiplash. I didn’t see Whiplash but Simmons is awesome in those Farmers Insurance commercials and played J. Jonah Jameson in the 2002 Spider-Man movie. When you see this guy who doesn’t think, “We are Farmers! Bum de dum dum, bum bum bum”
Best Supporting Actress: This one was a no brainer too. I didn’t see the movie, but the Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actress goes to Kiera Knightly for her role as Benedict Cumberbatch’s girlfriend in The Imitation Game. I heard some guy on the radio talking about how her character balanced Benedict Cumberbatch’s character by softening and humaninzing him. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. She’s really cute and has a British accent. In my mind that makes her a brilliant actress.
People.com
Best Actress: I saw none of the movies in this category but The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actress goes to Rosamund Pike for her role in Gone Girl because she is the only nominee who has a 6 Degrees of Separation/Kevin Bacon-like connection to The Phil Factor. Rosamund was in Gone Girl with Neil Patrick Harris who is friends with Lori Duron, author of Raising My Rainbow, who once did an interview with The Phil Factor that you can read here. The fact that she has stuck with the idiotic first name of Rosamund almost disqualified her.
Best Actor: I was tempted to award this to Benedict Cumberbatch for The Imitation Game because I’m a huge Sherlock fan, but, c’mon Benedict! How many times are you going to play a guy with Asperger’s figuring stuff out? Michael Keaton was also a consideration for his scene in the 1988 movie Beetlejuice when he had a tiny head. Acting with a shrunken head cannot be easy. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actor goes to……Andrew Garfield for The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Like all guys, I’m a kid at heart and I grew up reading Spider-Man comics and eagerly anticipating the movies. Garfield pulls this role off with aplomb. He almost didn’t win this award because his hair is just a little too poofy to believably fit under a mask, but I let that slide. Also, parts of the movie were filmed in my hometown, so knowing that Andrew was here gives him the Phil Factor connection that put him over the top.
Picture Credit: SONY Pictures and MovieFanatic.com
Drumroll please…..The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Picture goes to The Interview! Two pot smoking actors strong arm Sony into making a picture the company didn’t want to do and end up creating an international incident and the most talked about movie of the year. Sounds like a movie plot doesn’t it? How could this not win? It was also the focus of one of the most popular Phil Factor posts of 2014, my fictional interview with North Korean Dictator Kim Jon Un.
Sony Pictures and imdb.com
As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend and enjoy the Oscars! ~ Phil
As always, you’re hilarious. I love the reasoning behind your choice of Keira Knightly – cute and has a British accent. Perfect choice! Incidentally, Rosamund Pike’s father was my vocal teacher at University. Not that it’s relevant, just thought I’d share…
Wow! That’s interesting about your connection to Rosamund Pikes father. Had I known I would have cited that as a reason and linked to you.
Haha! He still works there too…
What, nothing for Beyonce? Just because she wasn’t in any movies that’s no reason to disqualify her.
Maybe I’d better given one to Beyonce. I don’t want Kanye storming my blog demanding justice.
Better safe than sorry.
After I read your comment yesterday I went back in and added a line about Kanye. Thanks for the great idea! I wish I had thought of it.
I elect you to be
Seated on the Academy
For such an honor you were meant
after elected president
And it can not be denied
The sexiest man alive.
Since I only know you through blogging I imagine that rhyming is how you talk all day at home. It must drive your family crazy, or crazier.
Oh I got all kinds of crazy for my family, but talking in rhyme is not one of them, thank goodness!
Yours is the soundest reason I’ve ever read for a Best Movie selection! This would have been a movie NO ONE was going to see except for the brilliant media support from North Korea.
Best line in the movie – Kim Jong-un’s angst filled line “You know, Dave, sometimes I feel like a plastic bag.” I still laugh every time I think of it … like now 😀
I still haven’t seen the movie. Next time I take a flight, in April, I’ll load it up on my Kindle.
If you’re iin the right mood and you don’t have high expectations, it can be fun. We were entertained 🙂
Loved this. I too have seen none of these films and therefore feel qualified to agree with your choice. By the way Spiderman lives locally here in the heart of England and if you don’t believe me then please take a look at my blog where the evidence gathered this morning. Judging by his emaciated build though I could not understand quite why he was walking past the Italian pastry shop that I was loitering near.
LOL, so you’re stalking Spiderman now?
I’ll have to agree with your choices on the basis that I’ve not seen any of these movies either. And I’ve not seen hundreds more. Snap judgements for me are, ‘Nah, don’t fancy that’ and pass. I’m more inclined to watch a movie I have seen before knowing that I’ll enjoy it. Just as well Hollywood doesn’t depend on me for its box office takings. They’d have the begging bowl out.
I like your logic – the lack of it, that is. Just as logical as the Academy decisions. So – perfect!
Thanks! It’s nice to meet you. You are obviously brilliant and perceptive so I’ll go follow your blog
And we both wrote about the Oscars on Academy Award day! What an amazing and unusual coincidence!!! (I have no choice but to follow you back, given your profound intelligence.)
Yes, few on the interwebs can match our intelligence. I bet nobody is writing about the Oscars today!
Americans are just suckers for an English accent. Ever since House, the Brits have been systematically taking over Hollywood.
Oh yeah, we love a British accent. We fought a war to get away from England and now we can’t get enough of them.
Truly, the Brits are everywhere in Hollywood! It seems every show needs a token Brit or two to elevate the tone.
Susie sent me. We should both thank her. Also, thank you for reminding me how far behind I am on movies this year. Is that enough thanks? Rehearsing for Oscars. Cheers —
Phil, I whipped by the other day without stopping to say how extremely funny I thought this was. Really good.
Thanks! It’s nice to see you agaon : )
Same : )
Well done Phil!
I admit I never watch the Oscar’s either. I just read the fashion reviews the day after. 🙂
Nancy
Thanks Nancy!