Sleepy Spelling Elephant Anthrax!

There were so many funny odds and ends in the news this week that I couldn’t choose  just one to make fun of. So, in case you weren’t paying attention…

No Post on Sundays! Anybody remember that quote? In the comments tell me where it’s from. We in the U.S. better hope there’s no post on Sundays or any other day. A military lab “accidentally” shipped 200 samples of live anthrax this week. Remember when we were kids and Columbia House Records had that deal where you paid a penny and they’d send 13 cassettes if you agreed to buy 9 more at full price over the next three years. I got Anthraxx from Columbia House once but it didn’t come in a test tube. This is the military’s version of that. That’s right! 200 samples of anthrax for a penny if you agree to accept five other heinous diseases over the next three years!  It’s also good to know that they still aren’t working on biological weapons.

usatoday.com

usatoday.com

Sleepy Spelling Bee Kids: The Scripps National Spelling Bee ended in a tie  for the second year in a row. It wasn’t won in a spell off, they were just the only two contestants who could stay awake through a day of spelling. USA Today had an article about how many kids nod off during competition. If the contestants can’t stay awake, imagine how the TV viewers feel. I think it’s time to put an end to this archaic, institutionalized form of child abuse.

Naked and Famous: Hopefully it’s a phrase that will apply to me someday. It’s also a really good band. It is also now a new fad, kind of like streaking was in the 70’s. People are going to famous landmarks and getting pictures of themselves naked in front of them. I think it’s awesomely funny. Maybe a new addition to my Wordless Wednesday posts?

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Was it Kevin Bacon? In New Jersey this week (where is Old Jersey?) a man named Thomas Bacon was arrested after assaulting his friend who had eaten the last of the sausage. I love irony.

The Elphie? This may be one everyone saw. Christian LeBlanc was in Thailand feeding an elephant bananas when, with it’s trunk, the elephant grabbed Chris LeBlanc’s camera and took a selfie. It’s the most time on camera a LeBlanc has gotten since Friends ended.

newsday.com

newsday.com

What Your Facebook Posts Say About You: Do you fawn over your partner on social media? Do you brag about their wonderful romantic gestures? You may think you have a wonderful relationship, but British researchers say you’re probably insecure. Do you post every time you go to the gym? Or when you get a new haircut or outfit? According to the “researchers” you’re a narcissist. I wonder what the study says about the researchers? I think they got caught Facebooking on work time, told their boss they were doing research and quickly wrote up a shabby paper to prove they weren’t screwing around. Anyway, that’s what I would have done.

The researchers also discovered that if you shared humorous blog posts to your Facebook or Twitter you must be a wonderful, altruistic and highly intelligent person. You know what to do with the buttons below. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

21 responses to “Sleepy Spelling Elephant Anthrax!

  1. hahaha Love my morning chuckle!!

  2. Once again I will endorse
    Phil Factor as my prime news source
    But it does appear that I’m
    Just a bit behind the times
    And in fact I must conclude
    The Hollywood sign in the nude
    Would just be all the rage
    I’ll post it on my Facebook page
    And about it I will boast
    Along with selfies with a goat
    And this will make me quite delighted
    Till I die of meningitis.

  3. This post had a mixture in it but I took away lots of chuckles! Loved this one!

  4. What you said about the FB researchers has the ring of truth, Phil. If it gets back to their bosses, they’re gonna be in deep doo-doo. (BTW, loved your sign-off on this post : )

    Guess what? (I’m so old:) I streaked. Yup: My roomie and I, in college, in the dead of an upstate NY winter, wearing nothing but our boots, hats, scarves, and mittens. But we were totally chickensh#t: We did it at night! Some of our friends had walkie-talkies–remember those?–tuned always to the campus security channel (I wonder why THAT would be–could it be that we always wanted to know when they were headed our way during our parties?), and they told us when we got back about this exchange:

    “There are two girls streaking around the Lecture Hall. Do you want us to pick them up?”
    “…No. Do not apprehend–Just observe.”

  5. Enjoyed this especially the “disease club.” I think animal selfies would be an upgrade.

  6. To think I was actually a little concerned about what it might say about me when I thought it was kind of interesting to take naked pictures at famous landmarks.
    Now after reading the comments, I’m thinking that I might actually belong to this ragtag band of merry-people.

  7. Great way to start the day – either shaking my head or laughing. I remember the Columbia House Records subscriptions and actually signed up for one ONCE – took a chunk of my babysitting money for awhile! Anita

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