I can’t even tell you how much I hate GIFs, but when the subject of finger guns came up, how could I pass on Michael Scott? Last Friday I dropped my son off at college and for one of the pictures in his dorm room he posed, giving me the finger guns. I said to myself, “Phil, there must be a lot of perfect moments in life to pull out the finger guns. Also Phil, it’s odd that you refer to yourself in the third person in your own inner monologue.” Both very true, so I said to myself, “Phil, you should make a top ten list of the best times in life to pull out the finger guns.”
10. For your author picture on the inside cover of your next book. Mark my words folks… Time to Lie, estimated release date Dec. 2015.
9. At the end of surgery or any medical procedure really, and especially at the end of a colonoscopy or ob/gyn visit. If someone is mucking about in my private parts I want them to be confident about it.
8. Walking down the aisle after tying the knot. We’ve seen far too many wedding parties dance down the aisle to Pharrell’s Happy. How about if the bride and groom turn around and give the whole crowd the fingers guns as they leave the church?
7. Birth of a child: What wife doesn’t want the finger guns from her hubby just to say, “You did alright honey”? If that doesn’t make 20 hours of labor worth it, I don’t know what will.
6. At the end of a job interview: Win or lose, good or bad, it always looks good to walk out with a little swagger. Finger guns gives you that in any situation.
5. Funerals: Far too many funerals are ruined by a lack of humor. If the deceased was posed in the casket, or even in a chair, giving the finger guns, who wouldn’t crack a smile?
4. After winning anything: This one’s pretty obvious. Whether it be a Nobel Prize or a game of backgammon with your grandma, there’s no better way to say, I’m the man, or I’m the Woman, than with finger guns. True fact: I taught my dog to do finger guns.
Finger Gun Inventor Ted Lange
3. When you’re a bartender on a cruise ship: Actor Ted Lange, aka bartender Isaac Washington on the late 70’s/early 80’s show The Love Boat is credited as having invented the finger guns. Now all Royal Caribbean cruise ship bartenders are required to incorporate finger guns in their interactions with customers or the drinks are free.
2. Presidential debates: Now that we’re entering Presidential debate/election season I hereby vow that I will give my vote to any candidate who finger guns his opponent after a rebuttal.
1. At the completion of sex. I think the most important part would be putting the guns in their imaginary holsters on your naked hips after. Please someone do this and then come back to the comments just to tell me you did.
As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to shshare by hitting the Facebook, Twiiter or re-blog buttons below. If you do I’ll give you the finger guns! Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
You hate GIFs ?
Hate them with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns
Oh? How come?
Not sure why. They just annoy me. I think it’s because they stop after two seconds and I want to see the whole scene or action
This post made me snort! Yes, this also brought back some silly memories, too. Tongue in cheek humor . . 🙂
Wow! A snort! No matter what happens the rest of my day, I’m going to feel good because I got a snort from you. Which one did it?
We have gun laws that outlaw them over here
I love this post and will refer you to the original king of finger guns, Joseph Ducreux.
https://notapunkrocker.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/josephducreuxpicture.jpg
And who is Joseph Ducreux?
From the Wikipedia:
Joseph, Baron Ducreux (June 26, 1735 – July 24, 1802) was a French portrait painter, pastelist, miniaturist, and engraver, who was a successful portraitist at the court of Louis XVI of France, and resumed his career after the French Revolution. He was made a baron and premier peintre de la reine (First Painter to the Queen), and drew the last portrait ever made of Louis XVI before the king’s execution. His less formal portraits reflect his fascination with physiognomy and show an interest in expanding the range of facial expressions beyond those of official portraiture.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Ducreux
That is hilarious and you are awesome, but seriously, isn’t it more fun to credit bartender Isaac with inventing the finger guns?
He can get credit for the double-gun, how’s that? 😀
Fair enough. I wish I had seen that picture of Ducreux before I wrote this. I would have included it
Check out some of the other ones with the archaic rap lyrics. Hysterical 😀
Hah! #3 is awesome!
Finger guns are kind of weird
And so it is my stance
That we should only use them
When we disco dance.
Number 1. This would be especially appropriate after certain kinds of roll playing. 😉
LOL! You are too funny. Like I said, if you do because you got the idea from my blog please tell me