Before I begin my list of some of the most idiotic search terms that have brought people to #ThePhilFactor, I’d like to pay tribute to Google, the search engine that makes it possible. First of all Google, I love you, but you’re getting it wrong. For years I have waged the search engine ranking battle with Phil Factor, a magician from Ranch Cucamonga, California. My blog, #ThePhilFactor, gets about 200 views a day (thanks to the horny Hindi’s). I can’t imagine that any magician not named Copperfield, Blaine, or Penn & Teller gets more hits than that. And Phil Factor from Rancho Cucamonga is not even the official magician of #ThePhilFactor. Magician James David has been featured here twice, and not just because he bought me dinner once, (although if Phil Factor the magician wants to perhaps surpass that bid with something a bit more lavish, I wouldn’t be opposed).
Anyway, back to Google. Even if it only occasionally ranks me ahead of my magical doppelganger, Google is still amazing isn’t it? I’m also amazed and a little creeped out by some of the search terms that bring people to my blog. Then again, I’m sure some of my weird searches in the name of humor have probably had some people somewhere scratching their heads. I wish I had a list of my most idiotic search terms, but I don’t, so here’s a list of some of the weirdest stuff that has brought people to The Phil Factor in the last 90 days.
10. Cheating Amish wives stories: Apparently my site is now the Ashley Madison for the Amish. That’s right Amish hotties, The Phil Factor knows what you need. If you’re really looking for that, here’s AmishDating.com.
9. i’m sinus: No, I’m not, but if you do have sinus congestion, please ask your doctor if The Phil Factor is right for you.
8. there’s no such address as the corner of happy and healthy: If you’re in the U.S. you are no doubt familiar with the term from Walgreen’s ads. Apparently an idiot, probably with sinus congestion, was looking for a pharmacy literally at the corner of happy and healthy.
7. Cartoon poop: The post that featured this picture was one of my most popular this year.
6. Instagram photos about worshiping: I have no idea why this brought people to my site, but if you want to worship me on Instagram you can find me @ThePhilFactor. It’s the same on Twitter too.
5. What is The Berenstain Bears conspiracy theory?: The Berenstain Bears conspiracy theory is that Mrs. Berenstain Bear was having an affair with Josh Duggar, the worst human being ever.
4. Sexting conversations to read in Hindi: With about 150 views a day related to this search term, I’m pretty sure that The Phil Factor is now the most popular Hindi dating site in the world.
3. The top 5 most painful things in the world: Apparently Google thinks that reading The Phil Factor is one of them.
2. Adam Levine beard: Yeah, me and Adam have a history. You can read about it here.
1. HorniestInTheLand.com: Every quarter without fail this phrase/web address is in the list of search terms that bring people to my blog and it’s still one of my favorites. Do you think I should change the name of my blog to Horniest in the Land?
As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor and want to see it at the top of the search list on Google, please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil
You have sent me off to my wee bed with a smile on my face, wee horny man! 🙂
You are too funny!
Quite a feat to accomplish
A fan base of the cheating Amish
I hear it’s quite a crazy scene
and you know who looks Amish here…Adam Levine.
Very well done tying Adam Levine to the Amish! I would write more but I can’t think of something to rhyme with Amish
There’s a site called Rhyme Zone that’s kind of like my online rhyming bible. Shhh…don’t tell anyone.
Well now that I know that you’ll never win a rhyme battle with me!
Hey, it’s still a challenge knowing how to use the rhymes….but if you want to go…cause I mean, I could do this…
Although, I have to say, finding out that you have some help is like finding that Santa Clause is really your parents
Look, this is between you and I…okay???
I won’t tell
Whew!
The Walgreen’s one has me laughing at my desk. Not just because it sounds like something I would say either LOL
Hi Phil,
I would be happy to invite you to the Magic Castle, a famous private magicians club in Hollywood Ca. I will be performing on Oct. 19-25th of this year 2015. I may not be a Criss Copper-Blaine-gel but I can promise you a lavish VIP evening of world-class magic entertainment and a tasty Magic Castle meal. Please let me know if your able to take advantage of my exclusive offer.
Again, thank you for your offer. Unfortunately I can’t get out to California next month. I’m in New York. I do travel a bit for work, so if I do get out there I’ll look you up. Thank you for being a good sport about my goofy blog posts too.
Sounds like a Phil-Nominal plan!
By the way, how do you find out when I write about you?
Lol… I’m Magic, remember?
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