The Top Ten Perks of Being a Zombie
Since we all will eventually be zombies I wanted to take a moment to remind everyone that it’s not all bad. In fact there are quite a few perks to being undead.
Picture credit: http://www.eatwatchrun.com
10. Zombies never pay insurance premiums: No health, no dental, no auto or home. Who isn’t frustrated by all the money you spend on insurance that you never get back? Zombies, that’s who!
9. Cardio! With all that constant, aimless wandering around zombies are in great shape.
8. Your wardrobe never goes out of style! Just wear the same outfit forever, kind of like our parents.
7. No tan lines! That’s hot, right?
6. Dating is easy: Zombie chicks don’t care if you have six pack abs. In fact, they don’t care if you have abs at all!
picture credit: http://www.snappypixels.com
5. Zombies don’t worry about pageviews: I’ve never once seen a zombie blogger check his phone 10x during the day to see how many people read his blog. Zombies don’t give a crap if you read their blog. They’re cool like that.
4. When You’re Dead, Weight Loss is Easy! Got a few extra pounds? Just offer it to your friend as an appetizer. How many points is an arm worth Weight Watchers?
3. All the unprotected sex you want! Do I need to elaborate on this one?
2. No technology worries: Zombies never worry about a wi-fi signal or their phone battery.
Picture credit: http://www.weheartit.com
1. The night life is phenomenal! Every night, all night raves. And now that Michael Jackson is dead he can dance with the zombies forever! What? Too soon?
Feel free to share by the Facebook, Twitter or reblog buttons below. Have a great Wednesday everyone! ~Phil
Great post as always Phil! The Bloke has a plan for the apocalypse… He’s got us to the roof so far, but not much further bless him…
Tell the Bloke that unless the zombie apocalypse starts in England, you’re probably pretty safe because England is an island. You’ll have to make sure to shut down the Chunnel to keep the French out though. If anyone’s infected, it’s them.
OMG. I thought I was the only person who actually thought about this stuff.
I thought everybody did! When I do a zombie post it gets a bunch of views
Yeah, it caught my eye. I’m glad it did.
Thanks!
The zombie night life is where it’s at
And I hear that brains are very low in fat.
I have small children. It’s sort of like living with zombies. They moan a lot. And they stretch out their arms trying to get me when I’m on the other side of the baby gate. Plus, they drool and bite.
LOL they do sound like zombies. Hopefully they’ll grow out of that.
Yeah, I hope so, too.
Hahahaha I’ve been excited for a zombie apocalypse since I watched Dawn of the Dead (the 1978 one) 😀 I guess I’m not alone 😛