Eight Things That Annoyed Me in 2015

The Pope: Yeah, that’s right. I’m annoyed with the Pope because he ruined a weekend for me. Last March I planned a trip to New York City in September for my wife and I for our anniversary. I booked a gorgeous hotel and got tickets to a concert at Madison Square Garden. The Pope, who hadn’t planned as far ahead as I had, later schedules his trip to New York for that same weekend, canceling the concert  and having a parade right down the street in front of the hotel. I didn’t find out about any of the specifics until the morning of my planned trip.

Justin Bieber: Still out there? Yup. Then I’m still annoyed.

Terrorists: I’m pretty pissed at all of them, both foreign and domestic, regardless of what their agenda is.

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Creative, Intelligent People: Hey a-holes, how about you stop making worthless crap like apps, drones, Call of Duty 12, and hoverboards and use your intelligence to solve serious problems like global warming and cancer?

Donald Trump: You want to be President, but you obfuscate the issues by making the campaign into a circus. How about you answer a question with something other than a joke? It’s annoying. It’s like listening to me all day, except my jokes aren’t alienating entire countries and groups of people. And you made me use the word “obfuscate” in public. Jerk.

Airlines: This year They found a piece of the Malaysian jet that disappeared in 2014.  Why couldn’t they find it? I’ve got a GPS in my car that a satellite in outer space can find no matter where I drive in the world. How about somebody put one of those in the planes?

The British Royal Family: They act all snooty like they’re more refined than us because they’re British. They’re basically The Kardashians with an accent.

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The Eurovision Song ContestFor those of you not familiar, it’s basically American Idol, but it’s an epic worldwide contest where each country sends one singer. Why isn’t America invited? Because they fear us, that’s why! I am hearby declaring this blog post a petition to Eurovision to have the U.S. winner of American Idol be our representative in a Worldvision Song Contest. We’re the United States of America for cripes sake! We can’t let the rest of the world doing things better than us!

Happy New Year to all my wonderful blog friends! ~Phil

 

 

22 responses to “Eight Things That Annoyed Me in 2015

  1. This was hilarious, and we are in agreement with all eight things on this list for sure!

  2. This is so funny! By the way, Happy New Year! All the best to you! 😉

  3. I have to admire someone who can slide obfuscate into a sentence so seamlessly! See you in 2016.

  4. Happy New Year! Here’s hoping next year’s annoying list won’t include Justin Bieber.

  5. I don’t understand why people’s lives and plans have to be changed when a celebrity comes to their town. Let them arrive like the rest of us and refuse to have concerts canceled because of their “presence” in the city. Let’s hope that your next planned trip stays that way in the coming year…..and have a most Happy One.

  6. Happy New Year Phil!

  7. We could start Worldovision when we have our own planet and then after that take it out to the Galaxy 🙂

    • I want this idea of a Worldvision Song Contest to take off. Why not? Imagine the whole world watching the same show at the same time and rooting for their favorite. It would help bring the world together.

  8. I told the Pope not to arrive
    The same days as sexiest man alive
    I said don’t you mess with that fellow
    Guess he never got the memo.

  9. Queen Elizabeth looks like my Nana so I can’t NOT like her. Besides that, the rest of the list is spot on. Oh, except drones – the kind that will deliver everything to my door. I want that. So I guess I’m annoyed we don’t have that yet! 😆 Have a great new year, Phil!

  10. Happy New Year! You’ve used up 3 of my top ten but I’ll still enjoy completing the list.

  11. Totally agree with these.Happy New Year Phil. The Pope has his own country for heaven’s sake. Why cause traffic jams in ours? (goes for the Pres too.)

  12. Really annoying. The things; not your post. I laughed out loud at obfuscate, and not just ’cause it’s a funny-sounding word.

    But how can you rag on THIS pope? He’s told St. Pete to open the Pearlies to atheists, for God’s sake! (pun definitely intended). Those otherwise-damned Wall-Streeters should have been raining their ill-gotten gains in gratitude upon his pointy head.

    (Or is that just the hat? Never knew if pope heads came with a retractable telescopic point–kinda like an upside-down collapsible drinking cup. Part of how they qualify for the office. S’okay if a mere bishop loses a windblown mitre on world TV, but God’s representative on earth?! For Pete’s sake! [that one intended, too]).

    • Seriously, how does THE POPE not have his schedule planned out farther than me? The concert I was going to was rescheduled just so he could have mass at the Garden. What Pope goes to NYC and doesn’t do mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral?

      • Maybe, politically, since the majority of the child-buggering and pedo-shuffling in the U.S. Catholic church has been done by the Irish-dominated segments…? Or maybe just ’cause the Garden has WAY more seating.

      • Hey! Be careful with the Irish bashing! I still don’t see how the Pope gets to take precedence over Billy Joel.

      • I’m part Scottish: It’s my job to bash those red-haired, kilt-wearing, bagpie-playing–hEyyy…
        😕

        I agree that what happened to you and your wife was terribly unfair. I don’t understand why the Pope’s party planners were so planning-poor. And Glass Houses comes first, in my book. But that may be one of many reasons St. Pete will cite when he someday says “Get lost, you!”

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