The genesis for this post occurred when I was eating at a diner recently. Nearby was a table of ten elderly folks, all looking about 70 if i had to guess. Maybe they were high school friends who still get together weekly. I wasn’t paying them much attention other than the fleeting thought that I wouldn’t want to be the waitress cashing them out when they’re all trying to pay for their meals individually, with exact change and coupons from other restaurants. Suddenly, very clearly, I heard one sentence of their conversation uttered by one of the women. She said, “We grew up without frosting.”

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Picture a beautiful brick fireplace filled with the warm glow of holgraphic fire. Imagine elderly Phil wearing a cardigan and sitting in a large, red velvet covered chair with a young child on each knee.

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Me: “What do you mean when I was young? Are you saying I’m not? I’m just kidding you little whippersnapper! When I was young, old people said things like whippersnapper, and we didn’t have wi-fi!
Kylo Ren: No wi-fi? But how did you connect to the internet?
Me: There was no such thing as the internet when I was your age. In fact, we had to learn how to do math in our heads, or by writing on paper.
Xena: What’s math?
Me: Oh, never mind. That’s just a thing with numbers. Speaking of numbers, when I was a your age we used real numbers alot, like when we dialed a telephone.
Kylo Ren: Wow! You dialed a real telephone? Was it hard? What does “dial” mean?
Me: (ignoring last question) And our telephones were connected to the wall by a cord! We could only walk about six feet with our phones.
Xena: Why? Did they think you were going to steal them? Were you in prison?
Me: No, (chuckling) I wasn’t in prison and President Bieber was just a singer back then too. Not a good one, but…ok, there’s no buts. He just wasn’t a very good singer. He’s a much better President.
Sorry folks. I’ve got nothing else today. I just wasn’t feeling the funny this morning. Have a great weekend! ~Phil
Ha HA! I enjoyed that Phil, not sure about President Bieber though!
Hey if Ronald Reagan was President, Jesse Ventura a governor and Trump a viable candidate, I don’t think President Bieber is too much of a stretch.
I stand corrected! You are right π
I miss telephones attached to the wall. Ours looked just like the one above except it was harvest gold. Snazzy. There was something wonderful about knowing you had a 6′ circle [7′ if you stretched the cord and leaned out] in which to talk. It limited you, but made the conversations so much more on point and short… which to me, an introvert, was [and still is] a good thing.
Once about 15 years ago I was working in a school. Among the toys available for recess was a toy dial phone. I remember a young kid asking me how it worked. I thought that was so funny.
Cracked me up, methinks you should expand it into a longer story. Nice touch with Prez Bieber, too.
Yeah, I imagined it being longer and funnier but I just wasn’t in the mood this morning.
Hey, I think Bieber is Canadian so some laws might have to change for him to be president. And now I’m embarrassed that I know even that much about him. Ugh! Anyway, hilarious!
LOL! You are completely right! Sadly that fact is in my brain too. I just forgot it when writing.
When you are older with grans on your knees
who know not of records much less DVDs
You can tell them how it was and how you survived
And that year you were voted Sexiest Man Alive.
Hey that’s ok you can keep him!
Actually Bieber is quite a good singer. And his latest album has got great reviews. Sorry to upset you like this. π
I know. My son had played it for me. He liked it but I wasn’t impressed.
Phil, although not in the mood, you managed not only to write a post, but to make it interesting and funny: “Did they think you were going to steal them?”
I’m sorry for the reason you’re not shouting joy from the rooftops today. My hug from a distance.
O
(doesn’t look like much, does it?)
Thank you Babe : )
Thank you continuing your columns and still entertaining us! (If you want to skip some days, or weeks…that’s gonna be okay, too, Phil.)
Elderly at 70? You must have misjudged.those folk’s age. Baby boomers will challenge you to an iron person competition if you call them elderly. I’m just sayin’
I know a 70 year old guy who I’m sure could beat me at an iron man competition but he’s still 70 and if I’m lucky, I’ll live long enough to be considered that elderly.
First when I read “What’s math?” it made me wish I was born in that era, but then I read “President Beiber” and it all came crashing down π Nope, I’m happy with the time I was born in π
Me too! I think my era is just fine with me.
Bieber…a much better President. Ha!
And you say you weren’t feeling funny!
π
Thanks. I just didn’t feel that I had either the quantity or consistent quality of humor that I’m used to putting out there. Glad you liked the Bieber joke.
Thanks for bringing fun into the world. And thanks for dropping by my blog. Best in 2016!
Thanks Catherine! Happy 2016 to you too!
Well said!
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This was written when you weren’t feeling funny? That’s a pretty high bar. I’m hooked enough to give a follow.:-)
Thanks Deb, that’s the best compliment ever! It’s nice to meet you. I’ll follow right back.
Very tongue-in-cheek post but seems like a message is inside too- old age will come to the best of us, if we live that long.
Susie
You’re right. Not everyone has the luck to grow old.
“Were you in prison?” LOL π
This was funny… lol and the change yes ive had to stand in line while they empty their coin bag in front of the cashier then the wait begins…. because they also have to examine each coin to make sure it’s a penny or qtr haha…
I refer to my university days as circa 10BG, (before Google) tried explaining how it worked to our current interns, they just looked blank! Lol!
BG, that’s funny but makes sense!
They have NO idea about looking up card indexes, or reading journals – itβs almost funny
You say youβre not feeling funny, but you still made me laugh with President Bieber. Well laugh & also feel slightly terrified.