Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Songs I’ve Ever Heard

Yes, The Beatles made my list. Read on to find out which song.These are the songs that make my brain want to seize and I hit the change station button on the first note. I apologize that many of these are over twenty years old. That’s the last time I listened to pop music because most of it is terrible.

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10. Rick Astley- Never Gonna Give You Up: A song so bad that it became a joke known as Rickrolling,  to send your friends a link, tell them it’s something else and have them open it up to discover this piece of crap.

9. We are the World: A bunch of formerly good artists: Yes, I know it was done to raise money to feed the hungry or something, but I don’t care how hungry I am, this song will make me vomit.

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8. The Beatles: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: I don’t care that it’s The Beatles. This song is stupid. Nonsense lyrics are always bad. Just ask The Police.

7. Diesel: Sausalito Summer Nights: This might be the worst ever. If you don’t remember it, click on the video below and listen to about 30 seconds. This song should be used as torture for prisoners of war, although I think the United Nations call that cruel and unusual punishment.

6. Just a Friend: Biz Markie: This is the Sausalito Summer Nights for a new generation. A shout out to my friend Jim Bernheimer who gave me the idea for this when a character in his book played this on a loop to torture someone they were holding captive.

5. Come on Eileen: Dexy’s Midnight Runners: I’m pretty sure the band was saying “Come on Eileen, don’t leave. Our music isn’t that bad.” Yes guys,  it is.

4. Smoke on the Water: Deep Purple: Ugh. This three chord monstrosity has stood the test of time. I think it’s the first song every 10 year old learns at their first guitar lesson. You can’t go into a guitar store without hearing somebody playing it.

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3. Stars are Blind: Paris Hilton: Do I really need to make any commentary for this? To be honest, I’ve never heard this song, but I’m pretty sure it deserves to be here.

2.  What Does The Fox Say: Ylvis: It may have been hilariously funny but it is a terrible piece of music. What the hell though. Those Norwegians need something to smile about.

1. Stone Temple Pilots: Plush: Where ya’ going with that mask I found? And I feel, and I feel. When the dogs begin to smell her, will she smell alone? WORST SONG LYRIC IN THE HISTORY OF PLANET EARTH.

If you have ideas or suggestions of songs that you find equally reprehensible please add them in the comments. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

59 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Songs I’ve Ever Heard

  1. Number 5 is my favourite! How could you?! *shakes fist* 😂

    • Aaah! I thought you Brits might come out to defend your heroes. I’m surprised you didn’t pick Rick Astley. To be honest, I go back and forth on Come On Eileen. Some days if it comes on the radio I’m OK with it and others days I can’t change the station fast enough.

  2. What, William Shatner didn’t make the list!!??

  3. I can’t get behind that

  4. I agree with your #8 so much. Vehemently dislike that one.

    Would add:
    A Horse with No Name by America [lyrics make no sense]
    Brandi You’re a Fine Girl by Looking Glass [makes my skin crawl]
    Arizona by Mark Lindsay [the ultimate ear worm tune]

  5. #6. Of course, I know the scene in the book, but I’d never actually heard the song before. I have now listened to more of it than I ever wanted to. It think I would have cracked long before Aphrodite did.

  6. How come none of Kanye’s songs made the list? LOL

  7. Beatles, Deep Purple,STP fits the bill?
    Come on Eileen, what are you thinking Phil?
    These songs may be annoying and I won’t refute it
    But have you heard some of the new crap they’re trying to pass off as music?
    Anyone with a banjo trying to call it rock
    In my opinion, they all should be shot!

  8. Rick Astley and Dexys Midnight Runners? Worst ever? Noooo. I’m holding out for them doing a collaboration. Interestingly Rick has just announced a new tour 🙂

  9. Grerat list. Bobby Goldsbourgh had a song called “Honey.” UGH
    “One day she was all alone and the angles came and called her home and Honey I miss you and I’m beiing gooooodddddd. ” urp

    • Fortunately I’ve been lucky enough to never have heard that song! I suppose we all have our own personal lists of worst songs ever.

      • That is hilariously bad! I clicked play thinking I’d listen to 30 seconds and I’d comment back to you that it was indeed very bad, but the incredibly stupid, corny, ridiculous lyrics sucked me in and I couldn’t stop listening. Just when I thought I had heard the dumbest song lyric ever he followed it with another one. Thank you for this precious gift of colossally bad music. That had to be the worst of his era. And the video clips interspersed were just as bad! I think I may request that Steve Says play that on his radio show this Saturday.

      • It was on the #1 list for five weeks bad.(I had to live through it)

  10. I like five of those.
    Will she smell alone is AWESOME. Do you even have a dog, Phil?!?

    That Heart song about how she sleeps with some guy at a bar and has his baby. Wretched, wretched tune. “When he saw his own eyes…”
    HORK!

  11. Paris Hilton? Hahahaha I didn’t know she put out a song. Gawd

  12. Hey, hands off Rick, he’s an idol from back in the day .. the face just didn’t fit the voice 🙂

  13. Unless you’re a Brit of a certain age (this is from 1978) you won’t have heard this from Kenny Everett – just try the no 1 ‘I want my baby back’ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8O9y1e3Dom0vGIR6KL0y_urZJqKcmvSp
    And then there is Telly Savalas with If https://youtu.be/J94-_w9ARX0 and Max Bygraves deck of cards.. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Max+Bygraves+Songs&&view=detail&mid=71CBE5555B802DA5991771CBE5555B802DA59917&FORM=VRDGAR Really Phil we don’t make sh*t like this anymore..

    • Unfortunately, right now I’m on my way to work. I’ll have to check it out when I get home later. Thanks. This has been the funny part of this post is somebody else also sent me a link to a hilariously bad song . I’m looking forward to yours.

  14. Pingback: Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Top Tens | The Phil Factor

  15. Despite being a Beatles fan I whole-heartedly agree with no.8, BUT leave our Rick Astley alone, Phil. Step away from the Astley.

  16. Paris Hilton deserves to be on that list simply because she is alive. And I can’t believe you put Stone Temple Pilots on it! They are 90’s alternative grunge heros; circa nirvana, pearl jam, Alice in chains. Blasphemy! 🙃🙃😆😆😆😆

    • I like some 90’s grunge but the Stone Pimple Pilots are not on that list! I never listened to the Paris Hilton song but out her on the list for exactly the reason you said, she’s Paris Hilton and she should just shut up.

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