Who are we kidding? We know we all love the Amish. If there were an Amish TV channel we’d binge watch all of the shows on Netflix. Here are ten shows that would be killer in the Amish Nielsen ratings.
10. House of Cardboard: Inept Jebediah Gruber keeps building his house out of cardboard and the strong wind off the plains keeps blowing it over. Each week his clumsy friends Levi, Amos, and Paul come over to rebuild while the women-folk churn butter and gossip. Hijinks ensue.
9. Breaking Bad Wind: Miriam Fisher is lactose intolerant but ironically lives on a dairy farm. Her frequent flatulence wreaks havoc on her dating life.
8. Downtown Abbey: Young Abbey Stoltzfus has known nothing but the Amish farm life. She has heard tales of the big city from tourists who frequent the family farm stand and she yearns to see more and be more, believing that her future lies in the city that never sleeps. How will she achieve her dreams against her parents wishes?
7. CSI Lancaster: Lancaster, Pennslyvania; the epicenter of Amish culture is an attraction for tourists, but it’s also an attraction for murder. Pastor King is found with a pitchfork through his chest and his crucifix missing. Detective Jacob usually handles hog theft. Is he in over his black bearded head with this mystery?
6. Amish Idol: Best yodeler wins the right to marry the woman of their choice. It’s really only one episode, live from the Raber family barn. 20 minutes tops.
discoverychannel.com
4. The Working Dead: Jethro attempts to fake his own death to get out of building “one more frickin’ barn that we don’t need.” Will the community laugh it off or will Jethro’s lazy ways finally get him shunned?
3. A Mennonite Gladiator: The pacifist Amish are enthralled and confused by a bearded man in a sequined cape who attempts to pick fights with everyone in town.
2. Dr. Who? One Amish communities resistance to modern medical care results in an epidemic of chlamydia, foot in mouth disease, and ringworm. Will they give in and accept help or suffer until they’re extinct?
1. Game of Phones: Eli and Samuel buy cell phones from some tourists and discover the joys of sexting. As the only two Amish with cell phones, they don’t realize that it’s each others “barns” they’re raising. Hijinks and a surprisingly sensitive exploration of sexuality ensue. (Rated MA for mature content)
So what would be your suggestions for TV shows the Amish would enjoy? Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
Whahaha! Very, very funny. I too, love the Amish.
Are there Amish in England?
I don’t think so, but I do know that there are some Amish living in Ireland. Whenever I see Amish people in PA, I just get so happy.
Hilarious and hope the Amish get the joke, Phil. 🙂
They will. I have surprisingly high readership among the Amish.
Ohmygod! You’re killing me! Hysterical!
How about The Good Wife where Rachel Bergey stands by her man as scandal breaks – Peter has been secretly hijacking electricity from the neighbor with a really long extension cord.
Survivor – Ephrata: self explanatory…
Hilarious! That’s awesome. Being from PA I figured you would enjoy this.
Definitely! These were great! 😀
Love this list, but it also reminds me of the Slim Jim commercial with the guys riding in the Amish buggy…have you seen it? Where they comment how difficult it must be to live without the internet? 😀
No, I haven’t seen that. And thank you for commenting. I literally forgot your new blog address and felt bad that I hadn’t visited you in about two weeks.
Lucky for you, I haven’t written anything in about that much time, ha ha.
Check out the commercial on YouTube, it’s cute 🙂
Will do!
We have Amish communities here in Ohio, though I think they are mostly Mennonite. I drive out into BFE to buy fruit and vegetables from them every summer. I’m sure some of them are secretly discouraged that when they do sneak off and watch TV somewhere, there aren’t really relatable shows for them to watch. You’re definitely on to something here! 😉
Those hats need a bit of flare
Jebidiah wants to spike his hair
I think we’d get a lot of exposure
If we did the Amish Makeover.
Nice!
I used to live in Amish country in Indiana and laughed myself into a coughing fit on this post. Good job Phil and the fun part is the Amish would love it.
Thanks John. Sadly no Amish will ever see it.
🙂
We don’t have Amish in Australia (that I know of), but I could just imagine how these TV shows would play out.