10. Sure you can pet him. He’s friendly. He’s never bitten anyone in his life! ~every dog owner ever, right before their dog bites you.
9. Hold still. This will only hurt a little bit. ~doctors, dentists, and…
8. I don’t need a list. I’ll remember! ~husbands, right before they forget everything on your list.
7. No. I’m not mad. ~women who are obviously mad.
6. It’s OK. I have plenty of time! ~all of us, when we definitely don’t have enough time.
5. I’ll write a blog and become famous! ~me, lying to myself every damn day
4. Does that dress make you look fat? No, it’s your hips that make you look fat! ~very stupid men.
3. LOL! ~all of us using the internet to lie to our friends because they can’t actually see that we’re not LOL’ing.
2. Gray hair makes you look distinguished. ~all women lying to all men. (If that were true, why don’t women ever want to look distinguished?)
1. I think your “love handles” are cute. ~couples who have both given up and are sitting on the couch in their elastic-waisted sweat pants watching Netflix and eating Cheetos.
So what other lies do you tell on a regular basis? Or which ones do you hear most often? Feel free add yours in the comments. Or if you don’t want to just click like without reading at all. I love that. (me lying to you.) Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
MY PHONE NEVER RANG ( pretend to look for missed calls) ~ I saw it was you and couldn’t be arsed answering because I’m not in the mood for you today 😉
I’m running late, I’m still waiting for the taxi (me, when I’m too embarrassed to reveal that I’m late because I spent 2 hours attempting to put false eyelashes on)
The false eyelashes themselves are a lie !
Absolutely haha!
“I’ll do it later” …. Son #2 as a teenager, regardless of what I asked him to do.
I think number 4 isn’t really a lie…. 😀
I guess you’re right. That’s when we should be lying
Exactly! 😀
I don’t think #2 is a lie at all.
How about when you help someone and they thank you and you say, “Oh no problem, anytime.” Lie. It’s such a lie. Really I’m hoping because I’ve helped, I won’t be asked to help again soon. 😛 *weak giggle*
Thanks Joey. Now I know enough that I won’t ask you for help
Oh thank you, Phil! I feel like we just took a big step in our bloggity friendship! 😉
But feel free to ask me. I love to help
Aw, that’s too bad, I hate to ask for help. But if you love to help, I can write up a list of people who frequently need help…
“I’m fine, really” or “I’m ok” or “Doesn’t matter” No, you’re not fine, you’re pissed as hell, and of course it matters!! 🙂
I almost included “I’m fine” in the list.
Then you’d have to make it a Top 11 lol
“No, I’m not mad!” – yep, I use this all of the time 😂
Of course. I think that might most women’s biggest lie. You though? Can’t picture it.
Yeah, I can sulk when I want to sulk… I’m quite good at it, actually! 😜
That of course is because of your inherent womanliness
“How are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine, just fine” When your life is collapsing around you.
I’m fine is probably the biggest lie. It should have been on the list
“I spent 3 hours working out at the gym
and since I woke up I barely ate a thing.”
I say that all the time! Of course it’s true!
LOL. Not a lie. “I gave at the office.” Lie
That’s a big one. I’ve never given at the office
Me either. Well, let me say other than years of my life and blood from a turnip.