If I were to go on a reality show like Survivor or Fear Factor I’d be fine with eating bugs and snakes. This may be tempting fate, but here are ten things I will never eat intentionally.
10. Mustard: I believe that this is a substance spawned in the bowels of hell. I put only ketchup on my hot dogs. I can throw up right now if I just think about mustard long enough. Moving on…
9. Onions: I can take a little onion powder or flavor in something I’m eating. Just a little. But to chew pieces of onion in or on something? I’d rather chew glass.
8. Other humans: Like I said, I may be tempting fate here, but cannibalism just seems to be in bad taste. Of course if my plane goes down in the Andes mountains and we run out of peanuts…
7. Brains: Not human of course. In many countries it’s not unusual to eat animal brains. The brain reportedly is the most nutritionally dense part of any animal. It just seems wrong. What if in some comic book type plot I suddenly starting thinking like and taking on the characteristics of the animal whose brain I ate? I’d probably fail as a zombie.
6. Seahorses: They’re served fried on a stick in China. I think they’re cute and have a look of intelligence.
5. Guinea pig: Often eaten in South American countries. Umm…no thanks. I find them ugly and repulsive when they’re alive. Did you know that if you pick them up by their tail their eyes will pop out?
4. Kiviak: This one makes we want to puke just thinking about it. Kiviak is a traditional Inuit (Eskimo) food from Greenland. They take a seal, dead I hope, and stuff it with 500 birds, also dead I hope, and then bury it under the ground to ferment for months. It is said to help the Inuits combat vitamin deficiencies in their diet. Haven’t the Inuits ever heard of taking actual vitamins? Someone get them a wi-fi signal!
3. Deviled eggs: I eat hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, fried eggs and most any other kind of eggs. Won’t touch a deviled egg. It just looks wrong. Ugh, and adding the paprika on top makes it look wronger.
2. Smalahove: It’s sheeps head. They eat it in Norway. I’ll eat just about any animal, but at least take the face off first.
1. Pickles: Of all the things on this list this is the one I would choose last if forced to. If I’m on a reality show and the challenge is to eat a pickle with mustard I bow out immediately no matter how much money is on the line. It’s the sour, awful vinegar. I can’t get past the smell. I held a pickle once but couldn’t bring myself to eat it.
So what foods are your kryptonite and why?
Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
Waha! Funny. Oh i just love deviled eggs with loads of paprika and curry powder and a pinch of salt. Err.. are we still friends? As for me-i cant stand cauliflower-i would rather eat my own hand. I mean, if i had to. Anyway-very funny blog post Phil!
Thanks Sam. Of course we’re still friends, unless you also put mustard on your deviled eggs.
Massive relief. Nope. Wiping brow..exhaling…close call Phil. 🙂
Ok, Phil, finally we diverge! I love pickles and olives and all things briny! Mustard I could skip but don’t feel that strongly about! And deviled eggs are one of the ONLY ways I’ll eat eggs! My food kryptonite has to do with texture so foods from the ocean pretty much across the board are off the table. Nothing spongy or slimy (shrimp and clams) and I will not eat one bit of fat on a piece of meat – makes me gag!
We are definitely opposite when it comes to food, but in general I’m the opposite of everyone when it comes to food. I’ll eat anything from the sea, and probably would try seahorses if given the chance
At least in the zombie apocalypse, we won’t be fighting each other for food!
That’s for sure!
I’m with you on all of these, and bless you for considering 9, 3 and 1 to be worthy of the same ick factor as brains and sea horses. 🙂
I knew we got along for a reason!
If I ever get back to your city we’ll have to go out to dinner and enjoy the same, sane, normal foods that smart people like us eat.
Eating a seahorse, now that could be awkward
I’ll eat anything if it’s covered in chocolate.
Nice!
Any kind of liver…the smell makes me nauseous. Circus peanuts, can’t even look at them, even the thought of those spongy orange mutants sends shivers down my spine. Bad experience as a child lol
LOL, I’ve never had liver, but I do love those orange circus peanuts. It’s funny though, you’re not alone. I’ve heard a lot of people say they hate them.
Deviled eggs have mustard in them, so there you go. I love them, by the way. My dad made his own pickles. We always knew it was pickling day by the smell. I love dill pickles. Sweet pickles, yuck.
What I won’t eat: lamb (not a fan, gives me a headache), liver (the one food my dad let me get away with not at least trying), Mayonnaise (it tastes spoiled to me), sauerkraut, coleslaw, crustaceans
Laura, did you see the author interview I did two weeks ago? It was MK Gibson, author of To Beat The Devil. If your husband likes Jim Bernheimer’s books I think he’d really like that one. Jim Bernheimee actually acted as the publisher for it.
I did see it. I will pass along your recommendation to my hubby. Thanks. 🙂
Whilst I agree with everything on your list , so glad someone else has the same opinion of onions as me! The only thing they’re good for is viewing cells under a microscope. I also liked the use of ‘wronger’ 😉
Yellow squash. No way no how. I just gagged writing about it.
LOL! That’s on my list too. It just didn’t make the top ten. I threw up yellow squash all over the living room on Thanksgiving when I was a kid.
My moment was at a church banquet.
That’s even funnier!
Your mom may have developed a yellow squash phobia around about then.
Lamb, liver, sepia (cuttlefish) … gag, retch.
She did stop asking me to try squash. I haven’t had it since!
Interesting. I like hot dogs with mustard, relish, and onion, so…
I don’t actually hate any food. I would try everything but humans, I think.
Would you put mustard relish and onions on your humans?
Onions and relish could keep me alive, no need to try humans, eh?
Fish: Fish and I have never gone well together. I mean never! I’d rather go without sugar for a week. Also its a bit hypocritical of me but I can’t eat any animal I see die.
Ironically I love onions…
I cannot eat green peppers but I have an allergic reaction to them. Otherwise, not keen on heads or brains, definitely never will eat intestines! Yuck! I actually like liver, bacon and fried onions and love deviled eggs, Phil. 🙂
My reaction to mustard is so strong that I often wonder if I have an allergy.
There’s actually a place in Raleigh that will give you the snub if you request ketchup vs. mustard on your hot dog. I ❤️ mustard, but won’t go near Cilantro. The aversion of Cilantro is genetically proven, so I’m sure there’s a case study for mustard hatred!
A very interesting list Phil. I was expecting more along the line of scorpions, bull balls, and snake.
… but noooo – your list includes everyday, totally reasonable foods like onions, pickles, and mustard. Okay, I’ll give you the mustard … that fluorescent yellow colour is more than a bit off-putting, but that doesn’t stop me from putting it on my burgers though.
Hot dogs? Kill me now. I haven’t been able to stomach the smell – let alone consider actually eating one – since I was pregnant with my first son over 30 years ago.
I can’t eat hot dogs even if I wanted to. Too much heartburn!
A very sad commentary about our age isn’t it? :/
Yes it is
Putting eggs in slack Lyme then eating the eggs 30 days later is wrong. These eggs are called 100 year old eggs in China.
Veggie might smells nasty. Spreading a yeast spread on bread is wrong.