(Aug. 29,2011) Well it’s hurricane season in the Northern hemisphere. Hurricane Irene ran up the East coast this past weekend and I hope with every fiber of my being that some forward think musician somewhere created a parody song titled “Come On Irene,” based on the 80’s hit by Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
Fortunately I don’t live in an area that ever gets any hurricanes although I felt some of the wind and rain from Irene. In the U.S., our weather people have a tradition of naming hurricanes with people names, such as Hurricane Phil, or Hurricane Betsy. Then the news people are astounded that people refuse to leave their homes when a hurricane is coming. Who is going to be afraid of Hurricane Betsy, or Tropical Storm Cecilia? Remember innocuously named Hurricane Katrina? Yeah, how’d that work out for everyone? Have you ever noticed that when people are interviewed as a big storm is bearing down on their area the homeowners always use the phrase “hunker down”? The interview always goes like this:
Reporter: I’m standing here with Joe and Jane Homeowner who plan on staying right where they are as the biggest storm of the century bears down on us. Joe and Jane, why are you staying put?
Homeowners: Well this little storm ‘taint nuthin. We’ll just hunker down until it passes. Now the storm of ’68, that was a storm!
I’m not sure I’ve ever hunkered down for anything. I think hunkering down best describes the pose my dog takes when she’s going number 2. If you want people to flee to somewhere safe you have to give a storm a name that sounds as scary as it is. Why not give it an intimidating name? How about something like Mega Hurricane Deathtron? That might get people out of their homes. Or maybe something simple like The Hurricane of Death? If the Hurricane of Death was headed for my house you can bet I’d get the hell out of the way. Then again, if they named hurricanes like that you wouldn’t have people selling post hurricane t-shirts that said things like “I Was Blown By Irene 2011.” When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will convene a special committee of writers to work on scary, new hurricane names every year.
If you enjoy my nonsense and still have your internet connection after the hurricane you can share this using any of the social media buttons below, follow me on Twitter @ThePhilFactor and/or subscribe to The Phil Factor on your Amazon Kindle. Have a great Thursday!
I see your point. I mean, who’s bothered by a guy named Andrew? Andrews are notably nice.
Until they hit Tampa at 120mph…
Funny stuff, Phil. I’m wondering about the other side of the coin, though—what if they call it Hurricane Devastation and it’s a trickle? Then Jane and Joe Homeowner will never, ever evacuate [if they ever would to begin with] and then a Katrina or Sandy (which I guess is androgynous, but still) comes along and horrible things happen. A lot to think about, actually, though I know you’re being light-hearted here!
I think this is apropos since there is a potential hurricane forming up which may make landfall at our place next week. I had to laugh out loud at the interview of the homeowners and definitely think renaming would get folks running. Nice job.
Thanks John! Yeah I saw the hurricane forecast and decided to bring this back. Good luck with the storm. I hope it fizzles out for you
🙂