Are Lefties Right or Wrong?

“Are you signing your name with your left hand on purpose?” “Yes, because I’m left -handed.” I heard this exchange the other day and it got me to thinking about the challenges that face left handers in a right handed world.  I have a left hand, but I’m not left handed. An odd and unexplainable fact about me though is that I throw a frisbee left handed. I have no idea why. I don’t remember being taught to throw one, but it’s the way I’ve always done it. If I try to throw a frisbee right handed, I fail at it as badly as I would if I tried to do anything opposite handed.

Left handedness is a malady that effects approximately one in ten people. What that means is that only one in ten people will get mad at the rest of this post. I’m kidding of course.  Here are a few interesting facts about left-handers:

1. Lefties are about 3 % of peaceful primitive societies but are 27% of the warlike societies. That means that guys who married left handed wives are nine times more likely than husbands of right handed women to be killed in a marital dispute.

2. The South American Incas thought left-handers were capable of healing and that they possessed magical abilities. That may be why the Incas are extinct now; a magician made them disappear, or maybe they were tragically wrong about the healing abilities.

3. Tests conducted by St. Lawrence University in New York found that there were more left-handed people with IQs over 140 than right-handed people. Of course Osama Bin Laden, Jack the Ripper, Fidel Castro and the Boston Strangler are all lefties, but man did they ace their grad school entry exams!

4. Left handed people are more likely to punch right handed people.

5. Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, and Benjamin Franklin were also all lefties. But they are also all dead. Does left handedness always lead to death?

6. Of the last four elected U.S. presidents, the two democrats, Obama and Clinton are left handed. The two republicans, Trump and George Bush are right handed.

The facts go on and on, but the point is that left-handers are different than righties and as a result have been treated differently throughout history. In many societies lefties were considered evil. When I was young there were still some parents that tried to make their left handed children to do things right handed. I wish I were left handed so that I could write a funnier post from the left handed point of view, but I’m not. So here’s what I’m going to do to get the lefty vote in my campaign for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first:

There is a National Lefty Day, August 13th. I will give all left-handers this day off from work. Also, lefties will get special parking closer to shops than righties. Coincidentally, I believe that 10% of people reading this will like it better than the other 90%.

In the comments, if you’re a lefty or have a good story about a lefty in your life, please share it. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil