This idea occurred to me the other day when I was writing Do You smell Like a Sociopath. Yankee Candle has literally 55 different scents that you can buy candles in. They have scents like My Serenity, and Kilimanjaro Stars. Really? How the hell does Yankee Candle know what My Serenity smells like? You know what My serenity smells like? It smells like bourbon and beef jerky. Nobody wants that candle! Kilimanjaro Stars? How can you smell stars? Space is a vacuum. In space nobody can smell you scream. That was a movie tag line wasn’t it? Any who, without further adieu, here are ten scents that didn’t quite make the cut at Yankee Candle:
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
First off, I’d like to thank the people of the internet. I was going to make up my own list, but when I Googled the subject there were already great ideas with pictures. Secondly, trust me, you should thank me for not choosing to include many of the grosser ideas that people made pictures for. Thirdly, Yankee Candle Company please don’t sue #ThePhilFactor. I didn’t make these up. I’m just the messenger. Have a great Tuesday everyone! ~Phil
These are hysterical. I’m so sick of winter right now since Maine still has snow cover I’d buy one with the scent of mud. Hmmmmmm!
I’m sick of winter too. It seems to have ended here a few days ago.
I don’t think I have ever smelt a yankee candle. Are they pricey? Maybe people are paying for the marketing of strange exciting names(?)
I am trying to imagine what my serenity, and Kilimanjaro stars smell like and trying not to imagine the others!! Although Kilimanjaro is surrounded by nature reserves with Lions, and Lion-poop under the stars doesn’t have quite the same ring to it…
Yes, Yankee Candles are very expensive for candles. And I think you’re absolutely right that people are paying extra for exotic names.
I just googled it. Over £20 for a ridiculously named candle!?
Do people actually buy them or are they just for secret santa /awkward gifts when you don’t know the recipient very well!? (You don’t have to answer that. If you have friends that you bought one of these candles for that then read your bog, it could get awkward!!)
I keep trying to leave a reply on your most recent blog post but I keep getting an error message
Oh no! I have no idea why. I’ll ask my blog host folks at lunchtime. Thanks for the heads up!!
Hi Phil!
Do you remember what the error message was? Akismet folks are attempting to help me fix the issue…
It says “There has been an unexpected error while sending your reply”
Thank yooooou!!
Is it fixed yet?
I am not sure. Akismet siad they’d help, but they didn’t get back to me yet. 🙁
One person did comment yesterday, so maybe it works intermittently!?
I’ll go try
Nope. Still getting the error message
Thank you for checking!! I’ll ask them again! 🙂
You must have forgotten your original comment by now!!
Hiya again Phil.
This is really cheeky, but could you possibly try once more. I might have fixed it!!
Sadly it’s still not working for me.😕
Dammit!
Thank you for checking!!
Was there an error message that time?
Also, yes people buy them. I thought of this post because my wife bought two over the weekend.
Oops! I hope they weren’t for an awkward present!!
Funny post! Thanks for the chuckle!
I’m so glad I found your blog.
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I got suckered into buying 2 candles this weekend too! Young woman selling them door to door for some fundraiser! 😀
I hope they weren’t any of the scents from my post
Ha! No fortunately. I can smell New Jersey from my house….
Highway Diaper. I can’t. I just can’t. LOL!
Hilarious!
Thanks Jessica!
I’m not a scented candle kind of person so in my opinion they all smell like air pollution. Funny post 😀
Thanks Joanne!
You’re such a lovable kook!
That’s the first time I’ve ever been called that
Thank you Phil you made my day
Though I think you forgot ashtray
Thank you Marissa
As they would say in Boston
Your rhymes are a pissuh
Terrific, Phil. I think beach diaper might not make the cut either.
Maybe I should start taking suggestions from people and make a whole Other list
Great idea. Would be fun.
Someone else suggested ashtray
How about morning mouth?
That’s a good one!
Beach diaper would be a good one too
Never met one I could get close to.
Okay, but now I kind of want the facebook stalking candle. You know, for when I’m facebook stalking. Does it smell like the satisfaction you get when you realize exes got fat or had ugly babies? Or more like the shame and regret of looking up people who probably left you because they sensed that you’d still be thinking about them ten years after they forgot your name?
Because if it’s that second one, I’d only buy it if it was on sale.
LOL! Too funny!
Haha! Shame…wonder what that smells like??