Throwback Thursday! The Commute

Here’s a classic from March 16, 2006

“Another working day has ended
Only the rush hour hell to face
Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes
Contestants in a suicidal race”
The Police- Synchronicity

I am a commuter. I commute to and from my job each day. I’m not sure what qualifies one as a commuter. Does your drive have to be a certain distance or length of time? Why did someone bother to come up with a name for people who drive to work? Doesn’t that pretty much encompass almost everyone? You know who came up with it? I’m betting it was a bored commuter stuck in traffic on his way to work. Why not come up with name for the odd minority who walk, ride their bikes, or take a bus to work? Oh, that’s right, we already have a name for them. Losers! I’m just kidding of course.

I resent the wasted time I spend in my car and I would love a 5-minute bike ride to work with the wind blowing through my flowing locks and the bugs and car exhaust blowing through my teeth. Memo to cyclists: Having wheels does not mean you belong on the road. If there’s a sidewalk get your lycra shorts ass up on it before we hit you.

The speed limit also poses a special challenge for commuters. Well, it’s not the limit itself that is challenging. In fact I find it quite easy to surpass. That’s not much of a challenge at all. The challenge is coping with the commuters who obey the speed limit as if some deity carved it in stone on the hoods of their cars. (Don’t try to understand that last sentence. It just sounded good in my head) My philosophy is this: We only have so much time to live, and I don’t want to waste any more than I have to trapped inside a mobile tin can. I want to get where I’m going so I can enjoy what I plan to do when I get there, whether it be watching a sunset, talking to a friend, or feeling the sweet release of sending my morning coffee back out into that great big world. I fiercely resent anyone who steals precious moments of my life by impeding my ability to get where I want to go as quickly as possible. If you speed limit compulsives enjoy time in your car so much, then park it at home and sit in it. Preferably with the engine running and garden hose going from the exhaust to the driver’s side window.

The great philosopher called “They” say that you shouldn’t be so focused on your destination and “you should stop and smell the roses.” Here’s a newsflash for “they”: There are no roses by the side of I-90 heading into the city! If I stop to smell the roses a homeless person will probably run up and try to clean my windshield. Then again, if he can pry that cyclist off my bumper I’ll be glad to give him a dollar.

Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

17 responses to “Throwback Thursday! The Commute

  1. Hahaha! You remind me of my partner talking about cyclists! He’s not happy unless they are riding along one centimetre from the edge of the road. If there’s two riding abreast (which is perfectly legal and said to be safer, for the cyclists) then he has a mini meltdown.

  2. Thanks for the chuckle, Phil!

  3. That’s a long throw!

  4. The only commute I’ve ever had is to my oncologist two hours away in Miami. I couldn’t imagine doing something like that 5 days a week. Of course if I had to drive in Miami 5 days a week, I’d probably already be dead. They don’t drive slow in Miami and they are angry, my friend.

  5. Gawd…I remember the 2 hour one way commutes on the freeways of L.A. When I was young…not a problem…but after awhile it gets to you. And…there are no roses on the I-405 in the concrete jungle! 😛

    • I don’t think I could do a two hour commute. Back when I wrote that I had maybe a 20 minute commute

      • I grew up in the Los Angeles area and worked in the city so to get annny where in L.A. it is no shorter that a 30 min drive. Mostly because there was so much traffic and you sit bumper to bumper for most of that time. I would not live there or do that again. L.A. is for youngsters now. LOL!

      • I’d only live there if I didn’t have to commute. I’ve heard that the 2 hour commute is the norm. I have no idea why anyone would do that.

      • I only did it because I had to. The first time I moved to another state I was astounded that the phrase “the store around the corner” really meant it! 🙂 I loved it and am in kinder climes now.

  6. haha, I freakin’ hate my commute, too…so, I sing or listen to audiobooks. boring, I know, but I prefer it to fighting the inevitable. Hilarious as usual!

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