DO NOT FOLLOW THIS WOMAN
Apparently Sick Christine of I’m Sick and So Are You is pulling some stunt where she’s telling people not to follow my blog. I believe that’s she’s jealous of my identity as the King of Sarcasm. She seem’s to think that she’s more sarcastic and funnier than I am. Today she’s actually listing reasons on her blog why people shouldn’t follow me. That’s right, me! Can you imagine anyone not wanting to follow me? Yeah, me neither. But Christine? I can think of a whole host of reasons why you shouldn’t follow her! In fact, just so she doesn’t think that she can get away with one upping me by trying to drive readers away from my blog, I’m going to list all the reasons you shouldn’t follow her second best sarcasm blog:
5. She Has No Concept of Weather and Season’s: She’s one of those people who grew up somewhere warm and sunny and moved to a place that is only slightly less warm and sunny. She’ll get no sympathy from me, but if you want to hear her whine about how tough her Fall was, go read THIS. Whatever you do though, DO NOT tell her I sent you. She’d just love to know that she’s stealing MY blog traffic.
4. She Likes Coffee WAY too much: Either that or she has a crush on Juan Valdez, or his donkey. It’s no wonder she writes so much. She’s freebasing coffee all day every day, at least as far as I can tell. That much caffeine can’t be good for the brain, which probably explains her sarcasm and epic rants about needing Skittles. She even Instagrams pictures of her coffee!
3. Sick Christine says Mean Things About Her Cat: Seriously? The most gentle and affectionate creatures in the world and she claims hers is psychotic and out to get her. I’d like to see her cats blog about Christine. Now that would be great reading!
2. She Uses The “F word”: Ugh. Blatant sensationalism. Am I right? She just goes around saying things she thinks exactly how she thinks them. Seriously, who does that? All my blog posts are lies. I never tell you what I’m feeling or thinking. Christine? She’s full of thoughts and feelings and she just says them. If you want to avoid thought and feeling provoking topics, do not go anywhere near Christine’s blog.
1. She was “Discovered”: WordPress features great posts that they think everybody should read. Yeah, she got it just 6 months after she started her blog. 6 months! I’ve been blogging for almost 13 years and not once have I been Freshly Pressed or Discovered, and that’s just how I like it. Being recognized by the man and fawned over is not at all the sign of a ground breaking sarcastic artiste is it? Apparently writing a smart, funny post full of painfully raw emotion is considered “good.” Whatever. If you hate that kind of stuff like I do, just make sure that you don’t read her post I Need To Tell You.
Like I said, if you are tempted to go see what a train wreck her blog is, 1. You will be dead to me, and 2. Don’t tell her I sent you. If anyone else wants to be featured on The Phil Factor or write a guest post, feel free to let me know in the comments or by e-mail. Have a great Friday! ~Phil
This is brilliant love it Phil!
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Thanks Rachael! Good morning!
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I agree. She’s shit and can’t write to save her life. Everyone should avoid her blog like the plague. Good call Phil.
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I’ve left a burning comment for I’m Sick. You are psychic, everyone knows that.
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Thank you! You’re my favorite blogger and I predict great things for you in the future
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(grabbing the shovel) Thank you Phil, you’re my favorite, I’ve got your back from sick Christine.
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Discovered after 6 months! I’ll be back to finish this comment after I go throw up. Oh, does that mean I’m sick like Christine?
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Hopefully not.
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Never heard of her. I think I’ll pass on checking her blog out 🙂
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Your argument is pretty persuasive, Phil…..and that blog from her cats would make a fantastic read! Don’t worry if I go anywhere near her posts I won’t let on you sent me….your secret is safe.
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Thanks Claire! See, its blog friends like you that I need!
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Too right!
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I’d also like a blog from the cat. We’d get the truth then.
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I agree
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Well, well, well. Now that I know what you really think of me I don’t feel the teensiest bit of remorse for bringing down your whole blog. P.S. Thank you.
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I’m going to follow her so I can immediately UNfollow her! See how she copes with that!
P.S. I’m so glad that your Follow Me button is bigger than hers!
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LOL!
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Right. I will never ever go visit her blog… no matter how much my curiosity bothers me. 🤨
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Coffee drinkers who are fond of the F-bomb are not my people.
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Sure sure!
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Haha, Phil, you are so funny. I don’t know Christine so you are quite safe from a desertion by me.
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Don’t know her, don’t care to. I have the awesome Phil Factor for all my sarcastic needs. 😉
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LOL, thank you Dorinda, but I hope you’re kidding. She’s a great writer and well worth a read
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See, sarcasm isn’t only found in your neck of the woods 😉
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Um – can we start a petition to see her cat’s blog? I mean I am a dog person and all, so I would imagine the cat wouldn’t have very much to say other than how smug and superior it is (even though recent evidence suggests that dogs are far more intelligent), but I have a feeling a detailed account of all its foiled attempts would be amusing.
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You two are hysterical!!!! Living proof that reverse psychology works!!!! Lol Now I’m going to have to follow you too to insure my daily “belly laugh fix”!
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Well thank you! It’s nice to meet you and I’ll follow you right back!
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This was a nice promo for Sick Christine. Well done, Phil. I see she did thank you.
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Yes, she’s a great blogger. I really enjoy her humor.
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😀
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That coffee and skittles thing is a definite head scratcher. I mean, can a good writer like coffee? I think not. Only plain water for writers. Oh wait, that’s not writers that’s horses. My bad. Christine does speak her mind–a thing I both love and fear. You two on my list of awesome. So I suppose I’ll just have to keep reading despite your obvious flaws.
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Thank you Angela!
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You’ve made such a great case against her, Phil, that I’m going to unfollow her right now!
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I have a feeling sick Christine
Isn’t really quite that mean.
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Nicely done, Phil!
I will never be freshly pressed or discovered because I’m R rated and sometimes talk about sex. 🙄
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Oh but if you want to expose me (lol) you’d be most welcome!
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LOL! With my pending presidential run in 2020, that might not be wise for me
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#rejected
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She’s full of thoughts and feelings and just says them? Aren’t We the People in enough trouble already because we have that guy? I prefer your visionary humor.
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LOL , you are too funny!
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