Photo by Edy Hardjo & featured on DigitalSynopsis.com
Lately it seems that every month there’s a new blockbuster super hero movie coming out. That got me to thinking, what if the superheroes were just a little bit different…
1. Wonder Bread Woman: She makes one heck of a PB&J. She leaves a plate of them out and hopes the villains get hungry.
Aquaman is property of DC Comics
2. AquaNet Man: He has a beautiful head of hair and knows what to do with it.
3. Super Pooper Man: He knocks out bad guys with lactose intolerance induced flatulence. A glass of milk is his kryptonite.
4. Spider Veins Man: He always wears short shorts but probably shouldn’t. His legs look so bad the criminals surrender out of sympathy.
5. Captain ‘Murica: He’s a redneck that chases villains in his car crushing monster truck. He just rolls down the window and throws Bud Light cans at them.
6. Iron Man: He really should be Ironic Man because his name is ironic. He’s called iron man because he’s anemic and has to take iron supplements all day. He tires quickly. The criminals keep running until he wears down and has to quit.
7. Green Lantern: It’s actually just an eleven year old kid with one of those plastic light sabers that lights up green and makes that cool noise when you swing it around. He tries to entertain the bad guys until the cops show up.
Picture courtesy of despair.com
8. The Flash-er: He just opens his trench coat and hopes the bad guys are so surprised that they stop what they’re doing. There’s also warrants for his arrest in seven states and he’s not allowed within 500 feet of schools.
9. The Invisible Woman: She has cyber relationships with lots of guys but nobody has ever met her. It’s probably just a creepy old dude.
10. Green Arrow: Let me get this straight, his super power is being really good at archery? Back in school the archery team was for the people that weren’t athletic enough to make the bowling team. You know the saying, don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Don’t bring an arrow either. Someone will shoot you. With a bullet.
Have a super Tuesday! ~Phil
#PHIL2020
I’d watch all of these films. Especially no.8. I’m not sure why exactly, but I’m here for it.
Captain ‘Murcia, That was inspired, Phil! I’m dying laughing!
Thanks Meg!
Murcia? Bleeping autocorrect!!! Agh!
Oh no!
Love it! Captain ‘Murica! And Aqua Net Man! I am Wonder Bread Woman. I make one hellava PB &J. 😉
These are awesome! I’m particularly amused by Flash-er and the iron-deficient Iron Man. 😆
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it
Haha! I needed this laugh today. Thanks Phil!
Thanks Danielle! I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I would watch all these and vote for many more!
Thanks Deby!
I’ll still take Captain ‘Murica over Captain America.
LOL
Captain America is pretentious and preachy right?
And a quitter.
quite a bunch here; all Masters of the Underverse I guess
They should all become the infamous 10 or something like that. I’d go to see that movie. Lol. Oh and I’ll assume you’ve never watched this before. It’s very British… https://youtu.be/ib_ZNDsTMZk
I’ll have to watch later. In a work meeting now but Ill get back to you after I watch it
LOL, just watched the video. Very funny!
Yeah I love it. The lady from the show died only a few months ago. RIP Blunder Woman
Superb list. Phil.
Thanks John! I think there might be a place for Tiny in this group
You may be right. Thanks, Phil
As a confirmed superhero fan, I laughed my ass off over these, Phil!
Great! I wasn’t sure how funny it was, thank you!
Great song!
Okay, I had another blog open and accidentally posted that comment on yours. But, you know, I am a rock n’ roll supermom so be sure to put me on your list when you make the best superhero list!
I quite like the look of Aqua Net Man, but not sure I’d like to meet Super Pooper man 😂