Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Funny Tweets

techwheez.com

You know I’m a fan of Twitter and one of my favorite places to hang out is funny Twitter. Funny Twitter you ask? Yes, Funny Twitter. Twitter can be whatever you want and you can find groups of people from all over the world that share your interests. If you have an interest in hand painting the shells of left handed turtles, there’s a Twitter for that. It’s called Hand Painting Left Handed Turtle Shells Twitter! Duh! There’s Democrat Twitter, Republican Twitter, Canadian Twitter and British Twitter. If you belong to a group, there’s a Twitter for you. But my favorite Twitter is the one that commences at 5 p.m. U.S. EST on Friday. It’s Weekend Twitter! There are no holds barred. I will spare you some of the more.. ahem.. interesting tweets from Weekend Twitter. Here are some of my favorite recent tweets:

I just poured half a bottle of Chardonnay into an empty venti sized Starbucks cup, so yeah I’m definitely all about recycling and saving the planet.

— Rack Paper Scissors (@RackOfSteel) April 21, 2018

I just saw 2 people jogging while having a conversation about stuff that had nothing to do with possibly dying from the jogging.

— Grant Tanaka: Honky (@GrantTanaka) May 25, 2015

https://twitter.com/GingerAtLaw/status/361945048104968192

ME: I wish for a third dog to pet.

GENIE: you're seriously wasting these wishes-

ME: I DON'T REMEMBER WISHING FOR YOUR OPINION

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) April 15, 2018

Back in the 90s we didn't have probiotics. If we wanted a bunch of weird bacteria in our gut we had to eat at Olive Garden.

— rick (@rickolantern) September 26, 2017

Me in my 20's:
oh cool there's an after party

Me in my 40's:
oh cool this cardigan has pockets

— kanye’s bhole (@bossy_bootz) August 30, 2017

https://twitter.com/Angibangie/status/984618855564750850

Scotch neat please

Umm…this is a Starbucks

*sigh

Ok a scotch "grande"

— Marnie (@offbeatoliv) December 22, 2016

Every bag of Doritos I open are Emotional Support Doritos.

— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) April 7, 2018

[Rap Battle]

Me: step to me? Yo your rhymes are trash. Your mouth writin checks your ass can’t cash

Millennial Opponent: [frantically googling what is a check]

— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) April 7, 2018

Have a great Tuesday and follow all these funny people on Twitter. ~Phil