Get ready. This is coming
(Sept. 10, 2016) We’ve all been in this conversation:
Other Human: Boy it sure is hot today!
Me: Yeah, but I’ll take this over winter any day.
Other Human: Not me! I love all four seasons! The fall colors are beautiful, and there’s nothing better than curling up in front of the fire on a cold winter night. And the Spring! All the flowers are beautiful!
Me: (imagining myself punching Other Human in the face) What are you, fecking Snow White? The other seasons suck. You’re dead to me.
I’m not sure, but I imagine Snow White as the ultimate optimist. Her step-mother tried to kill her and she just went and lived with dwarfs until a Prince came along. And she sang and whistled happy tunes while doing housework! She probably loved all four seasons. I’ve never once sang and whistled while shoveling three feet of snow from my driveway.
“Oh the Fall is so beautiful. I love the colors!” Yeah, well you know what? The colors on my 50 inch HD TV are gorgeous and I don’t have to go outside and pick the colors up off my yard for two months while inhaling mold and allergens. That’s ok though, you go ahead and frolic in leaf piles.
My problem is that I’ve lived in the northeastern part of the United States for my entire life. The first half of my life was my parents fault. But since I was liberated from their tyrannical control, it’s all on me that I still live here. I’ve grown sick and tired of damp, cool, Falls, cold, snowy winters, and Springs that are like living in England. (Yeah, sorry England, I hate to break it to you, but your weather is not great.)
I’m all about being an optimist and understanding others perspectives, but in February of 2015 the average temperature for the entire month in my hometown was 12 degrees. And not toasty warm 12 degrees celsius, whatever that is. It was 12 degrees Fahrenheit which is the manly American way of measuring temperature. We had over 100 inches (254 centimeters) of snow for the entire winter. Snow that had to be removed from driveways and roads. Yeah, you “I love all four seasons” people, how much fun was that season?
That picture above this is me every Spring until about June. Yes, I know that rain is good for nature and all, but seriously, how can you “I love the four seasons” people actually love Spring? Who enjoys going around being damp all the time?
Admit it, none of you really love all the seasons. You know who says that? Idiots and people who live somewhere that doesn’t really have all four seasons. So as summer turns into Fall, consider yourselves warned that if you engage in a weather related conversation with me, it’s not going to end well.
Have a great Thursday! ~Phil
Do you feel better now?
Yes
Around here, we hate people who love all two seasons.
LOL, Yes there’s just one season for me
I live in Maine, and we rarely have 4 seasons… we have 5. The fifth is mud and it lasts longer than all the rest. And yeah, I’ve never whistled or sang while shoveling snow either. I have however, been known to scream after the plow comes by…
I understand your pain. I’m in a place that has very similar to Maine weather
I love my seasons. Warm, warmer, warmest.
You and me both! I hope you weathered the storm well this week
Storm missed us totally. Thank heavens.
That’s good. I’m glad for you!
Me too. 😀
As I do every year (every year?) I must tell you I have lived where there is only summer, and I like summer the least, but I do like all four seasons.
I’ve lived where winter lasts about 5 months and summer is only a few months. I need more warmth
You seem to have been a little manic on Thursday so I might let this slide.
I live in Missouri where technically it has four seasons.
Summer is a hot, humid 100 degrees and even if it’s only 80 degrees “the heat index” is always about 105 degrees. I lost 42 pounds this summer working outside and I have never appreciated my central air conditioning more.
So yeah, as I have grown into a more mature-aged woman ~ I fecking hate summer except for maybe early June.
Of course, Missouri is the Show Me state so if you stick around for more than a day, Fall will sneak in for a day or two as well ~ and Fall Season is My Season plus I like when the trees change colors and raking is great exercise ~ but i dig burning that shit more! Ha!
Winter sucks (and it doesn’t swallow). We get low temps that chill you all the until it’s June or again ~ being The Show Me State, Spring will show it’s head for maybe an hour or so just before it dumps a shit ton of snow on us. Also, midwestern people can’t drive on a good day so if it’s sprinkling or if those infamous news people even suggest snow ~ they cause major wrecks trying to get to a local grocery store to fight over the last of milk, bread and eggs they never have had in their fridges in the first place.
I can see me wanting to punch a few douche bags.
Finally Spring will creep in for maybe two weeks before the summer heat takes over unless we get one of our infamous flooding that lasts until October. Again, stupid people in their pumped up trucks drive through the high waters and either end up stranded or dead. Better yet those people who refuse to leave their homes because of false pride end up on their roof with their dogs and have to be rescued and of course the news reporters are everywhere (I always wonder how they can get to those places when no one else can). The mosquitos are bigger than I am- oh and mowing?
The YardKitty and myself alone carry serious wounds from all the yellow jackets and wasps nest we have innocently happened by.
Guess what though?
I put gasoline in all 100 nest holes I found, made a small fire then watched the magic of those holes light up all over my yard!
Oh!
The Horse Flys!
I have had one ginormous one after another ride on the window of my car every morning on the drive to work.
So, yeah Summer and it’s bullshit blows.
I will take up on your arguments of weather and the “Four Seasons” any day Sir ~ and win!😉
Enjoy your last week or so of summer.
~ Ms. Mae
After reading my first comment to your post I realize I do indeed hate all four seasons.
I think I might be well living somewhere that is basically Spring or Fall all year long ~ any suggestions (remember Hell is hot so not there)!😉
I live somewhere that often seems like it’s winter or a cold damp spring all year, so I have no advice. Although I’m responding to this message from 85° day in Florida. That’s my advice vacation a lot!
The humidity and bugs are way too large and in charge in Florida for this ChUnKy Gal.