This is my Throwback Thursday post and also kicks off my annual campaign to be named Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine.
It’s time. If you’ve been following The Phil Factor for a while you’re well aware of my past campaigns to be elected President or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first. When I say “my past campaigns” what I mean is my annual post expressing surprise that I wasn’t selected as Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine. Click HERE to see last years.
I’ve decided that it’s time to be proactive rather than reactive. This year instead of just sitting back and hoping that I’ll be noticed, I’ve decided to actively campaign for Sexiest Man Alive. I’m serious and I’m going to need your help. Here is my platform:
1. I’m a normal guy. Aren’t we all tired of magazines pushing these unrealistic expectations of what is sexy on us? It’s always rail thin models with implants and “hunky” guys (also maybe with implants) who have no real jobs so they work out all day with a personal trainer. How about if People chose a “real” man for Sexiest Man Alive? A normal guy who is sexy because he’s smart, funny, works hard, and provides for his family? Isn’t that what most women really want at the end of the day instead of an unattainable playa’? As you can see from the picture below, I don’t have a single implant, hair or otherwise!
2. No nightlife? No problem. It’s hard for your man to be sexy for you if he’s out at the clubs or allegedly “on location” shooting his next project. You know what I think women find sexy? A man who comes home at night with flowers, helps clean up from dinner, takes the kids to the park and then sits down with a glass of wine next to you on the couch while you watch those ridiculous cooking and home improvement shows. Of course if I had a nightlife, or friends in real life who invited me out that would be different, but I don’t, so consequently, I’m sexy as hell to real women who want a real man. I’m not even sure I can find my Hammer pants anymore. Is that still a thing?
3. Intelligence. Now I know nobody is going to mistake me for Leonardo DaVinci, but I’m pretty sure I could crush Leonardo DiCaprio at Jeopardy! Most people think intelligence is sexy. Marilyn Monroe once said that the sexiest man alive was Albert Einstein. I’m not going to give you a lecture on physics, but I can hold up my end of a conversation. Just like Spike TV has that Pros Vs. Joes show where former pro athletes take on “ordinary guys” at a variety of sports challenges, I’m willing to pit myself against any show biz pretty boy in a Jeopardy! challenge. C’mon People magazine! Set it up! Let’s make this years Sexiest Man Alive earn it by being sexy inside and out. How about me, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet vs. Channing Tatum, Bradley Cooper & Ryan Reynolds in a game of Trivial Pursuit? That would be riveting television!
So I’ve made my case as to why I should be named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive this year, but how can I get People Magazine to find out about me? That’s where you come in. If everyone reading this does two small things I think we can change the world, or at least a magazine cover. As I’ve already done, just e-mail the link to this post to: editor@people.com and make sure you hit the re-blog or Facebook share button below so this goes viral.
#1… Nice picture of you, but really. The ring was a trifle overkill.. don’t you think?
#2… Hammer pants are totally still a thing. Please dig yours out of the closet and wear them to your next social event.
#3. There’s not a woman alive who cares if Channing, Bradley and Ryan can spell their own names… no less win at Trivial Pursuit. But I’ll give you an A for effort.
I’d like in on that trivial pursuit game
You mean, they haven’t gotten the hint? What can we do to help this year!!??
You have my vote, Phil. Might not be worth much though.
I’ll take it! It’s worth a lot to me, but I’m not sure how much weight People magazine gives your vote.
Not much I’m sure.