Tag Archives: sloths

Top Ten Reasons Sloths Are Slow

Very happy Sloth couch potato, eating hibiscus flowers.

10. They are waaay to into weed.

9. Constipation

8. Their mother is calling and they really don’t want to go in for dinner.

7. Once a cop said, “Don’t make any quick moves.”

6. They’re tired from working out.

5. They we’re listening when Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile you could miss it.”

4. You know sometimes kids play “Let’s pretend the floor is lava”? Sloths play “Let’s pretend the air is water.”

3. They are actually aliens from a parallel universe where they are considered fast A.F.

2. They are all asleep and in one of those dreams where you’re trying to run fast but you can’t get away from anyone.

1. They’re sloths, duh! Don’t overthink it. 

I’m sure this post is definitely going to rank #1 on Google searches about funny sloths by the end of the day. I hope you’re having a nice Friday and easing into the weekend slowly like a sloth. 

Thanks for reading and Happy Friday! ~Phil