These are just some thoughts we had while out at bars last night:
1. If you look in the mirror and you still have a mullet hairstyle, you’re too old. Stay home and watch “Murder She Wrote” re-runs.
2. Men should not wear teal tank tops out to a bar.
3. Women need to pay more attention to guys who look as good as we do.
4. If you’re wearing a baseball hat and you’re not on a team, we all know you’re balding. Take it off. You’re not fooling anyone.
5. Ladies, if you’re wearing something that makes you ask your date, husband, or friend, “Does this make me look fat?”, it probably does make you look fat, but no one will tell you the truth, so change again before you go out.
6. He has to be kidding. This can’t really be a felony offense.
7. As much as we like the whole trend of women wearing low-slung jeans so you can show us the top of your thong, not all of you should try that look. (Refer to #5)
8. I still hate cell phone people even when I’m drinking, but it’s cool when I do it.
9. If you go to the bar wearing a softball jersey with the bars name on it, that doesn’t mean you’re king of the place. Stop acting like a jackass.
10. “Oh yeah, we could score with any of these women if we really wanted to.” This thought actually occurs to us 24/7 no matter where we are. Of course in 10 years when we’re still going out wearing the then equivalent of a mullet and teal tank top we will still be thinking this.