I am writing to you, the CEO of the McDonald’s Corporation,on behalf of my friends in the fine country we call England. Why am I, an American, taking up a cause for everyone in England? It’s because I like every single British person that I’ve ever met. Sure there is probably a fair amount of arses over there, but they are not the majority.
I’m not sure if you’re holding a grudge over that little colonial dust up a couple centuries back, but since then England has been a good friend to the United States. It’s time for you to drop that grudge and allow all the British McDonald’s customers to have the one thing they want, Shamrock Shakes. The States have them. Canada has them. Ireland has them. Why not fecking England?
What have the Brits ever done to you? From your picture I can see that you appear to be red headed, so it’s probable you have some Irish blood coursing through your veins. Are you possibly holding a grudge over The Troubles Ireland/England conflict that ended over twenty-five years ago? For cripes sake, drop that old grudge too and offer an olive branch. The Shamrock Shake in British McDonald’s would heal that old wound between the countries and bring people together.
There’s no downside. You would come out of this looking like a hero. Your England McDonalds would make even more money. You would be known all over the UK as the man who brought redemption and Shamrock Shakes to England.
So what’s it going to be Chris? A few sugary shakes in the UK, or infamy as the man who wouldn’t let the Brits have Shamrock Shakes? C’mon Chris, let’s share the shakes, let’s share the shakes, let’s share the shakes… I can hear the chant building across the land…let’s share the shakes!
To all my readers, I encourage you to share this letter to McDonald’s CEO Chris Kempczinski on your social media until the clamor for British Shamrock shakes cannot be ignored. If you like a more personal approach you can copy and paste it into an email and send it directly to the CEO at his email: chris.kempczinski@us.mcd.com
Have a great day everyone! I hope you get your shakes!~Phil
At this point, I’m not even sure people remember the Peanuts cartoons. Although, in doing “research” for this post I discovered that there was The Peanuts Movie in 2015. I’m sure that totally resonated with kids. Good grief, as Charlie Brown would say.
I was also going to name this “A Pumpkin Flavored Phil Factor”. It’s that time of year, again. Sigh. It has begun. Pumpkin flavored everything is back in stores! WTH? Seriously, are pumpkins such a wonderful delicacy that we have to flavor EVERYTHING with them? Why pumpkin? Is there any other time of year where a flavor takes over the country for a couple months? Around the winter holidays why isn’t there nog flavored everything? Around St. Patrick’s Day we’ve got our Shamrock Shakes, but that’s about it. How about this? I’m going to give you a list of ten pumpkin flavored items below and you try to guess which one isn’t real.
Guess what? They all are real! That’s too much pumpkin flavored stuff. What’s next, pumpkin-flavored fish sandwiches at McDonald’s? This time of year it’s actually an effort not to accidentally eat something pumpkin flavored. This madness must end!
When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law stating that any company that produces a pumpkin flavored food item has to have it approved through a special sub-committee and if it is just too stupid of an idea they will not be allowed to sell it. If you know of any other odd pumpkin flavored foods or drinks please share them in the comments.
As always, if you enjoy what you read at #ThePhilFactor and want to support my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook share button.
This particular post was chosen because I’m on vacation pooping somewhere other than home.
(1/17/2015) Everybody poops. In fact, I would bet a fair number of you are doing it right now while reading this on your phone. If you are pooping, I bet you’re doing it at home. Am I right?
It was really tough to find a poop picture that I thought would get by the Facebook censors so I could promote this post. Oh the search terms I used to find these pictures! The NSA will probably laugh their constipated asses off when they review their Phil Factor log today.
This is a sensitive yet important topic that I want to be accessible to as many people as possible because this is a very serious subject that impacts millions of poople every day. I want poople to know that domesticus poopius is no reason to feel shamed or embarrassed. I want to bring pooping out into the light, into a public forum where we can all examine it without stigma.
According to true fact statistics that I made up, at least 50% of you are poop at home people. If you’re a poop-at-home-poople, or domesticus poopius, which is the medical name for this disorder, then you’ve been impacted by it’s limitations for your entire life. Am I right?
Reluctant to go out with friends if you haven’t pooped all day? You go as much as possible before a vacation because you know you might not go again for days. Discomfort at work because you won’t go there? Or maybe you’ll go, but only in one particular bathroom and only during a time when no one else is around? Bloating and flatulence from the back-up in your bowels? These are all symptoms of this terrible, terrible condition.
I don’t have this disorder. I can go anywhere. In fact, I’m doing it now. In a stall at LaGuardia airport while I write this on my phone. There’s a line outside the door, but I don’t care. This is a problem for a lot of you, so let’s talk about it. First, in order to fix the problem you have to understand the why.
Is it a fear of germs at public restrooms? Guess what? Your skin is the largest organ in your body. It’s essentially a giant condom you’re body is wearing to protect your insides from germs. It does a wonderful job of it, doesn’t it? The only disease you can really get from from a toilet seat is ringworm, and that’s not so bad is it?
Worried about others knowing that smell came from you? Who cares? We all do it. Even the Pope, Queen Elizabeth, and Taylor Swift poop, and I bet they stink really bad. (In doing my “research” I did find a list of Taylor Swift quotes and none of them were about poop, meaning it’s likely she has domesticus poopius and is embarrassed to speak or sing about it)
Domesticus Poopius is so prevalent it has even made it’s way into pop culture. Some of you may remember a Seinfeld episode where Kramer had to go and couldn’t get home in time and lost the urge, resulting in days long constipation. More recently there was a How I Met Your Mother episode in which Lily found a hotel charge on Marshall’s bank statement and she thought he was cheating until he admitted that he couldn’t get home in time so he got a hotel room so he could be comfortable pooping.
Apparently there’s a Ted Talk about pooping at home. Here’s THE LINK . I haven’t watched it because I don’t want that in my browser history.
If you think about it, domesticus poopius is really an anxiety/fear based disorder. All toilets are basically the same, unless you’re in a third world country and have to squat over a trough. If you’re anywhere there’s indoor plumbing and you won’t poop, it’s because you’re fearful of something involved with the process.
Domesticus poopius is a mental disorder that can have real physical symptoms that are dangerous. I could go into a list from WebMD, but it would scare you about more that what your imagination might conjure up about holding in your poop too long. Guess what? Your imagination would be right, so go. Go freely and go anywhere it’s legal and appropriate! Free your mind and your bowels and never feel that shame again. If I was Oprah I’d say, “You get to poop, and you get to poop, and you get to poop. Everybody gets to poop!”
Well this has gone on long enough. Gotta go, if you know what I mean. If you want to save the life of a poop at home person please share this with them by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil
Are you wondering how the title goes with that picture of a guinea pig? Read on! I’ve eaten some weird things in my life, but there are some things I just won’t touch. If I were to go on a reality show like Survivor or Naked and Afraid, I’d be fine with eating bugs and snakes. This may be tempting fate, but here are ten things I will never eat intentionally.
10. Mustard: I believe that this is a substance spawned in the bowels of hell. I put only ketchup on my hot dogs. I can throw up right now if I just think about mustard long enough. Moving on…
9. Onions: I’d rather eat broken glass. I can tolerate some onion powder in a dish, I’m OK with the flavor, but not the texture of onions in my mouth.
8. Other humans: Like I said, I may be tempting fate here, but cannibalism just seems to be in bad taste. Of course if my plane goes down in the Andes mountains and we run out of peanuts… As an aside, I was once told by a family historian that a couple hundred years ago some of my ancestors may have partaken in human flesh. They were in Canada and it was a tough winter. Surely, that’s understandable, right?
7. Brains: Not human of course. In many countries it’s not unusual to eat animal brains. The brain reportedly is the most nutritionally dense part of any animal. It just seems wrong. What if in some comic book type plot I suddenly starting thinking like and talking like the animal whose brain I ate? I’d probably fail as a zombie.
6. Seahorses: They’re served fried on a stick in China. I think they’re cute and have a look of intelligence. I hate eating cute animals.
5. Guinea pig: Here’s the reason for the picture at the top of this article. Often eaten in South American countries. Umm…no thanks. I find them ugly when they’re alive. Why would I put them in my mouth? Did you know that if you pick them up by their tail their eyes will pop out?
4. Kiviak: This one makes we want to puke just thinking about it. Kiviak is a traditional Inuit (Eskimo) food from Greenland. They take a seal, dead I hope, and stuff it with 500 birds, also dead I hope, and then bury it under the ground to ferment for months. It is said to help the Inuits combat vitamin deficiencies in their diet. Haven’t the Inuits ever heard of taking actual vitamins? Someone get them a wi-fi signal! (I was going to put a picture in for this one, but all the pictures of it were very off putting in the morning.
3. Deviled eggs: I eat hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, fried eggs and most any other kind of eggs. Won’t touch a deviled egg. It just looks wrong. Ugh, and adding the paprika on top makes it look wronger.
2. Smalahove: It’s sheeps head. They eat it in Norway. I’ll eat just about any animal, but at least take the face off first.
1. Pickles: Of all the things on this list this is the one I would choose last if forced to. If I’m on a reality show and the challenge is to eat a pickle with mustard I bow out immediately no matter how much money is on the line. It’s the sour, awful vinegar. I can’t get past the smell. I held a pickle once but couldn’t bring myself to eat it.
I sit here on a beach in America on the tailgate of my pickup truck gazing out across an ocean. I’m not sure which one, but because I’m in America, it must be the biggest one. I feel secure because I have a beer in one hand, a gun in the other, and beef jerky in the other. I also feel secure because Scotland is on the other side of this great big ocean. I’m not sure what Scotland is, but I’m pretty sure it’s not good. I watched Braveheart for the first time last night. It’s a documentary about Scottish culture.
Knowing me, you may be thinking that I’m about to write a sarcastic, mocking piece about the fine country of Scotland. Wait, country? Is Scotland a real full-fledged country or is it just an odd redneck region of England the way Florida is in the United States? As I said, you probably think I’m going to make fun of Scotland, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m 1/4 Scottish, so it would be blasphemy to degrade my own heritage.
Rather than highlight the oddities that make up the whole of Scottish culture, I thought it might be more educational to highlight the ignorant beliefs that us ‘Mericans have about the Scots. So to do some research, I recently decided to visit the delightful island nation of Scotland. Ok, I didn’t, but if the Scottish board of tourism wants to sponsor me I’ll be happy to write a factually accurate piece on Scottish culture.
Scotland is an island: Shame on you my fellow ‘Muricans! Ireland has their own island while Scotland is a landlocked few acres surrounded entirely castle walls.
Donald Trump is not Scottish: Guess what everyone, Donald Trumps mum was Scottish. Considering that Scots are often thought to be an aggressive bunch, that explains a lot about the Donald. It also gives us a place to deport him to.
Scottish men only wear kilts: That’s not true. They also wear high socks with their kilts.
The Loch Ness Monster is just a myth: Ha! Check out this picture taken two weeks ago:
This is what allScottish men do for a living:
We don’t know why they toss logs, or how they make a living at it, but they do. When I visited I spent half my time outdoors looking up to ensure I wasn’t killed by a flying log. Sadly, two in my party were lost, and that was just at dinner in the hotel.
Every building in Scotland is an old castle: Ok, this one’s true.
Mel Gibson is their President: You Americans are idiots. The Scots don’t have a President. Mel is their king. Yes, because Mel was in Braveheart, Americans think he’s Scottish.
Scots don’t subscribe to The Phil Factor: That can’t be true, can it?
You’ve been a wonderful audience. Drive safely. Thanks for reading! ~Phil
The Who song quoted in the title was very apropos for our high school reunion weekend for two reasons. 1. The Who was the first concert that I ever went to, and 2. We had a high school graduating class of nearly 500 students and I thought that I knew and could put a name to a face for every one of them. Maybe I could back in the day, but…
Before we all got our name tags on, as I mingled and moved about the bar Friday night, occasionally popping into groups of former classmates, I’d hear the same question. People all over the room wanted to say “Who are you? to so many people. Is it because we are getting old? No, of course not. It’s because we were drinking! We’ll officially be old at our reunion in ten years. We’re not there yet.
“Count your age by friends, not years. Count life by smiles, not tears.” ~John Lennon
This was definitely a weekend of counting our age by friends. I’ve never been any where with so many smiles and hugs before. Even if we hadn’t seen each other in decades, everyone was greeted as if they were best friends just returning from vacation. And that is how I like to think of my high school graduating class. We’ve just taken vacations from the people who were like family during the five days a week that comprised every week of our 19 school years together.
“You don’t have to have anything in common with people you’ve known since you were five. With old friends, you’ve got your whole life in common.” ~Lyle Lovett
That Lyle Lovett quote hit me Saturday night at the formal reunion dinner when I was sitting at a table with some old friends and one of them said to me that in the weeks leading up to the reunion he found a class picture from kindergarten, when we were four or five years old, that included him, myself and a classmate of ours who had passed away. It had never occurred to me before that I had known this guy almost my entire life.
“Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been” ~Jimmy Buffett
Yes, there were more wrinkles than the last time I saw all of you, but there were also more smiles too.
I have to give a big shout-out to the committee that organized our reunion. I’ve heard about other peoples reunions, and nothing compares with what these women did. Months of planning, effort and time turned into two nights that were enjoyed and memorable for so many people. Your efforts are appreciated by all. Because of our wonderful planning committee, we all know that we again beat our rival high school across town who chose to have their reunion the same night.
“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I chose to be stupid with my old friends. As I said, it was a 1980’s themed reunion, so of course we had to have an air guitar contest, which I happened to win. Thank you to Kym who caught the shot of me jumping off the chair!
All the fun and camaraderie were great, but I want everyone in my high school graduating class to know this next part. Back when we were in school, we did something good without even knowing it. There was one person at the reunion festivities, whom I shall not name, that came up to talk me. That person said that they had transferred to our school for their senior year after having spent their previous years in another school district.
This person said that at their previous school, everyone was in cliques. Most people at this persons school only socialized with the people just like them. The jocks hung out with the jocks. The band people with other band people and so on and so on. This person felt like they weren’t allowed to fit in at their previous school. This person said that when they came to our school, it was like a whole other world. They described feeling welcomed and wanted by everyone regardless what their interests or groups were.
“They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!” ~author Beatrice Sparks, Go Ask Alice
We did that. That’s who we are. Even if we don’t know “Who are you? Who, who?” we’re going to welcome you into our world.
It was wonderful seeing all of you this weekend, and I’m proud to call you my friends forever. ~Phil
In case you weren’t following the news closely this past week, it seems as if the government is acknowledging that unidentified flying objects, UFO’s, or unidentified anomalous phenomena (UAPs) are kind of a real thing. First of all government, we’ve called them UFO’s for at least 70 years. Why do you have to go trying to change the name just because you’re admitting that they exist now? I’m betting that the United States government is actually trying to find a way to make them pay taxes.
This past week a former military intelligence officer and two former fighter pilots told the United States House of Representatives that they are being lied to about UFO’s. The military intelligence officer reported discovering “a multi-decade UAP crash retrieval and reverse-engineering program” during the course of his work examining classified programs. He said he was denied access to those programs when he requested it, and accused the military of misappropriating funds to shield these operations from congressional oversight. He later said he had interviewed officials who had direct knowledge of aircraft with “nonhuman” origins, and that so-called “biologics” were recovered from some craft. (last paragraph credit to CBS.com)
The two fighter pilots gave first hand accounts of UFOs that they saw first hand in the sky.
This comes as no surprise to most of us right? What? Our government lied to us? That’s crazy, right?
There’s two interesting parts to this. The “reverse engineering program” means that the government is trying to figure out the alien technology and build their own stuff with it.
The second interesting part is the “biologics” that were recovered. The “biologics” were probably not houseplants, right? They recovered actual aliens!
I’m not going to go on, but this admission by the government makes past 10 year old me very happy.
Also, this past Wednesday, 76 year old renowned psychic Uri Geller posted on Instagram “Friends, Bigfoot, traditionally, is viewed as a simple creature of the woods while UFOs are considered sophisticated visitors from outer space. Yet, could there be a connection between the two? I believe, yes. Please let me know if you ever witnessed a Bigfoot type of creature and if you believe there is an alien connection.”
First of all, shout out to 76 year old Uri for rocking the social media. He’s active on Twitter too. Anywho, as they say, keep your eyes on the sky, because you never know when Bigfoot might fly by in a UFO. In the comments, I’d love to hear what you think about the UFO stuff and Uri Gellers theory.
Have a great Saturday and thanks for reading! ~Phil
Could Disney’s Haunted Mansion really be haunted? Happily, the answer is yes! No one is sure, and it can’t be proved, but… what would you say if you knew that the tombstones outside the original Haunted Mansion in California’s Disneyland had the names of the original designers of the ride?
Pic from DVCshop.com
Sure, a decorative nod to the deceased creators of the ride may not be enough to convince you. Although, if you designed this iconic ride, the peak of your life’s work, after you passed away, wouldn’t you hang around to see people enjoy it?
That’s not why I think Disney’s most popular ride is haunted though. That tombstone argument is flimsy at best. What would you say if you knew that each Haunted Mansion at all of the Disney parks across the world also contained the ashes of thousands of people who passed away?
Photo by Annie Leibowitz featuring Jack Black, Will Farrell, & Jason Segel.
Yes, this must come as a shock to you that wholesome Disney parks are the repository for the ashes of many, many people. Don’t believe me, google it. There’s many articles online from many respected outlets reporting that many, many grieving relatives have brought the ashes of a loved one to rest at Disney’s Haunted Mansion. That’s why I believe that there’s at least one mournful Disney loving soul that hitched a ride with their ashes and family to the Haunted Mansion.
But don’t get too sentimental about what a wonderful final resting place the Haunted Mansion would be for your family member or pet. Disney cast members have a code they say into their walkie talkies when they find ashes somewhere in the Haunted Mansion. They say “code HEPA”. Yes, HEPA like the air filter. They vacuum up the remains of your loved ones and dispose of them. Not such a sweet final resting spot is it?
The next time you go the Haunted Mansion ride you might want to look for ashes in the car seat before you hop on. Also, keep an eye out for a ghost or two that looks just a little too real. ; )
With the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie coming out this weekend, I thought it would be the perfect time to bring back my 2015 interview with one of the OG Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
For my readers who don’t know Robbie’s name off the top of your head, you no doubt have seen or heard him in something. Over the last forty years Robbie has been quietly woven into the fabric of American pop culture like few others. If you haven’t seen him in a movie or TV show, you’ve probably heard his voice as a cartoon character dating back to his work as Michelangelo for the 80’s cartoon and 1990 movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or the Final Fantasy X video game or more recently as Stuffy for the Disney channel’s Doc McStuffins. He’s also appeared in too many shows and movies for me to list here. Including 2021’s Blending Christmas. Better though is that he has an awesome rock band, The Ballzy Tommorow! What gave me the idea to contact him for the interview was when it occurred to me recently that he has been part of two of the most iconic pop culture phenomena of my lifetime, The Brady Bunch, and Sharknado.
Phil: Robbie, welcome to The Phil Factor and thank you for taking a few minutes for my readers. When you got the part as the bus driver in Sharknado, what did you expect would be the public reaction to the movie? Robbie: Well, I had heard about the poster for the movie from a friend who had gone to the American Film Market here in Santa Monica (The AFM is like a micro Cannes. People try to sell films there) and both of us being genre fans, we kinda lost our minds at the thought of it. I have said that the title of Sharknado says more in three syllables than A Trip To Bountiful does in 6. Then I found out my friend Anthony C. Ferrante was offered it. Anthony and I were working on music for another of his films when he told me he was offered it and I told him, “I don’t know why or how, but I really think you should do this movie. Something about it feels…….like something….”. So, I guess I thought the response would be pretty great, considering the way people reacted to the name. I wasn’t expecting Twitter to explode over it…..
Phil: You obviously were absolutely right. The name caught my eye and ear and I decided, good or bad, I had to see it. Doing music for movie soundtracks isn’t your only musical outlet. Could you tell us about your band? What kind of music do you play? What has been your best gig?
Robbie: Well, we have gone through a name change after losing an original member (Pandora’s bassist/drummer Karen Basset) so now we call ourselves Ballzy Tomorrow! As far as style, I have pretty much been doing the same kind of pop/country/psych thing for decades. It’s that kind of power pop music no one likes but I get a kick out of it. Best gig ever was playing The Rally in The Alley in Buffalo NY in the 80s. It was, like 20,000 people. Played with Spirit. Fun day.
Phil: Aww, it’s too bad I didn’t know about it. At the time I lived about ninety miles east of Buffalo and could have come out to see your band. If Ballzy Tomorrow, The Mockers, or the band you produce ever come out East, let me know. Robbie, You’ve had a very diverse career. What’s your favorite thing you’ve done?
Robbie: Tough to say. I just like to make stuff. I mean, I am super proud to have been a part of so many things that hit the zeitgeist super hard like The Brady Bunch and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But I think I am most proud of Doc McStuffins. Apparently it is set to cause a spike in the amount of young women (specifically African American young women) who go into studying the sciences, especially medicine. Considering that almost every cartoon on the planet, McStuffins included, is in existence to primarily sell toys, I would call this a solid fight from the inside victory.
Phil: When Sharknado just blew up and became this huge thing, did anything changed for you?
Robbie: Well, not as far as my bank account goes, but some really great stuff happened like…..I had never had one of my songs re-mixed before.
Also, some young people did a vocalese version of the theme (which I couldn’t find). So, did I get more work out of it? Not really. But sometimes art is its own reward. Some people really reacted favorably to it.
Phil: The Brady Bunch and Cousin Oliver. How do you feel about people bringing that up constantly?
Robbie: Great! Hey. It’s on the resume. I respect the right of somebody to not want to be bothered but I don’t get that considering most people become performers to get attention.
Phil: We know what you’ve done and what you’re doing. What’s coming up for you in television or movies? Where and when is your band playing next?
Robbie: The band is actually two bands. We do songs that we write but we also do a weekly half 70’s tribute band/ half live band karaoke thing at a restaurant out in Moorpark California called Red Ball’s Rock and Roll Pizza. Happens every Friday. It’s pretty out of control. The original band plays a once a month residency at Canter’s Kibitz Room in Los Angeles.
I just finished three songs for the Sharknado 3 soundtrack!
Phil: Yes, you heard him right folks, if you haven’t followed my Twitter or Instagram, there will be a Sharknado 3 this summer! So, besides creating awesome music for awesome movies, what else?
Robbie: I have also been doing some comedy writing and performing with an artist out here named Lisa Orkin. She has a website called HonestlyLisa.com that is a comedic relationship thing. Every week we do these little minute long audio bits based on her real dating life. She’s pretty much a genius.
I also have a (what we hope is) comedic talk podcast called The Spoon which can be found at www.thespoonradio.com.
I’m gonna be producing a band from Barcelona in a couple of months called Suzy & Los Quattro. This will be my third go around with them. I’m also gonna be on an acoustic tour of Spain in October with my friend Seth Gordon from The Mockers
(Hey folks, don’t worry, The Mockers and Suzy & Los Quattro will be my next two Music Monday features ~Phil)
Robbie: As far as the acting side, I just won the gig as Mondo Gecko in the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. Doc McStuffins is going into its last year so…….I have no idea what is gonna come next. It seems to always be something…..I guess I can always go back to college…….
Phil: Awesome! Congrats on the Mondo Gecko role and congrats on the continued success of all your music ventures. Thank you again for taking the time you did. In the future, anything you’re working on has a home on #ThePhilFactor. If you want to follow Robbie on social media you can find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Also you can support Robbie by watching Sharknado 3 on Wed. July 22 on the SyFy network and by downloading the Sharknado soundtrack.
Has this ever happened before? Has there ever been a weekend when two such diametrically different movies opened at the same time?
To be honest, I was kind of rooting for there to be fights breaking out in theaters between the Barbie people and the Oppenheimer people. My money is on the Oppenheimer people.
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. I’m not rooting for personal harm to anyone, but some cotton candy, popcorn, and soft drinks in everyone’s hair might have been fun. I’m not sure what the atomic bomb of theater snacks is, but you know the Oppenheimer fans would release that immediately.
What also might be fun is considering some other movie release combos that might be ridiculous:
1990: Pretty Woman and Edward Scissorhands: What if the plucky hooker with a heart fell in love with the eccentric Scissorhands? Instead of snapping shut a jewelry box, he might accidentally snap off her fingers with his razor sharp scissors. That would give the movie a whole different tone.
Run Forrest Run!
1994: Forrest Gump and Speed: What if Forrest had to keep running from a bus that couldn’t stop?
2009: Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen: What if the only thing standing between the human race and hellish robots from outer space was Paul Blart, mall cop?
2022: Top Gun: Maverick and Thor: Love and Thunder This one kind of makes sense because Thor is kind of the Maverick of the superhero community. But what would happen if Thor and Maverick were fighting for the same girl? Maverick is an over-confident dick and Thor would mop the floor with him.
I knew a guy in college whose last name was Oppenheimer. I really hope he went to see Barbie.
Happy Tuesday everyone! I hope you have a great day, and thanks for reading! What are your ideas for the best movie mash-ups?
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure, parapsychologist, author of several humorous suspense novels and one of the longest running blogs in the world, The Phil Factor.
thephilfactor.com
