A Review for Time To Lie: Did I Create a New Genre of Literature?

Here is a funny review that came in on Amazon yesterday:

The Master of “Dude-Lit” Tackles Time Travel and Wins!

I’ve been a fan of Phil Taylor since reading his first two novels. If there were such a thing as “dude-lit” – this guy is the master. I bought Time to Lie without knowing anything about it. What a great read! I am a huge fan of time travel books so this was right up my alley. Plus he puts in enough references to other time travel so that geeks like me can enjoy that along with his completely original concept. I can’t wait to see where Landon heads next in this chronicle of stories! ~Gregory G. Allen

“Dude-Lit”? That’s funny. We’ve all heard of “Chick Lit” from authors like Janet Evanovich and Nicholas Sparks. Apparently my books have created the new genre of #DudeLit.  I may not be on the Amazon bestseller list yet, but if I’ve created a whole genre of literature, I’m pretty happy with that accomplishment.

Actually, I’d like to thank friend, actor, and author Gregory G. Allen for coining the phrase Dude- Lit and applying it to my books in his review. Gregory G. Allen is an award-winning author of three novels, one non-fiction memoir, and two children’s books on autism awareness – the first of which won the People’s Choice Grand Prize Award in the 2012 MeeGenius! Author Challenge. He’s also a blogger. You can read his blog here. He has been in the entertainment business for over twenty five years as an actor, director, producer, songwriter, playwright, screenwriter, and author. His short film MOTHER won several awards on the festival circuit in 2015.  Greg is a really great writer and an even better human. Go check out his books on Amazon.

Have a great Friday! ~Phil

 

TBT! Happy Diwali! or दीपावली की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं !

In the “States” and many other countries we’re all excited about Halloween, but we’re overlooking a big holiday tomorrow. Because of the continued popularity of my post Real Sexting Conversations to Read in Hindi? I thought I would branch out my humorous holiday coverage to include the Hindu holiday of #Diwali, which is tomorrow. Before we go any further, Hindi is the language that is spoken by most, or is it moist, people in India? Let’s face it, everyone in India is probably moist all the time. It’s more overpopulated than Miami during Spring break and the average winter temp in India is 107 degrees Fahrenheit (42 C). Ok, Hindi is a language and Hindu is a religion. You can speak Hindi without being Hindu and vice-versa, but most people who speak Hindi happen to be Hindu.

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I figured that because so many Hindi people also visit my site for dating advice, like I gave in my post How Ron Burgundy Will Save Hindi Sex , that I would continue to court their growing influence in the blogosphere by writing about one of their biggest holidays. For the rest of you, here is some info to help you understand why this is such a big holiday: Diwali, or Deepavali, as it is sometimes called, (look, I know there are a lot of people in India, but why can’t you all agree on one name for the holiday? The rest of us have Christmas period. We don’t call it anything else.) is the Festival of Lights. It’s a celebration of light over darkness, or good over evil. Good over evil? Awesome. Who isn’t down with that, right? It’s like having a Batman holiday. It’s also an official holiday not just in India, but in eleven other countries. Let’s face it, if you’re not down with Diwali then you ain’t jolly. I’m pretty sure that’s going to be a saying in India.

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Why would you need “eye health safety tips for Diwali”? Because it’s like our Fourth of July/Independence Day in the States. On Diwali, all the Hindus get lit! They don’t get lit in the sense of drinking a lot, or do they? I imagine that the Feni will be flowing freely in Mumbai tomorrow as they celebrate the Festival of Lights by lighting candles and fireworks until the wee hours of the morning. Something like one tenth of the Earth’s population is in India, nobody has more than 6 inches of personal space, and on one day each year they all start fires. I don’t see how that could possibly go wrong! The fire departments in India earn their keep on Diwali. There are literally tons of fire accidents on Diwali, so read this article to help you stay safe and alive tomorrow. No one wants to leave Diwali in a funeral trolley. That’s not a saying in India yet, but mark my Hindi words, this time next year some marketing dude in India is going to make this the tag line for a public service announcement.  Here it is in Hindi: कोई भी एक अंतिम संस्कार ट्राली में दीवाली छोड़ना चाहता है. And tomorrow, someone in India who reads this will say it to their friends moments before one of them blows off a finger or two with firecrackers.

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I love the angry baby memes. I wonder if one day in 20 years we’ll see a picture of the angry baby then and now. Anyway, for those of you who are not Hindu, I hope you learned a little more about another culture today and for all my Hindi speaking readers, if you drink too much don’t get into a brawly on Diwali. Yeah, I could do this all day. दीपावली की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं ! <–That may or may not be me and my Hindi readers making fun of the rest of you. For all you Netflix watchers, go look up The Office episode about Diwali. Very funny. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! My Emotional Support Animal is a Gummy Bear

From the cinematic masterpiece Snakes on a Plane

(10/15/16) This post is going to make some people mad, but I’m going to write it anyway. Last week I had to travel by plane for work. As I sat in the terminal waiting for my plane to board I heard a meow. I look over and the woman sitting next to me had a cat in a small carrier. That’s fine. I like cats and it was in a carrier. But you know what, if that cat was going to be in the seat next to me meowing for the entire flight I might not be OK with that. Or how about this scenario:

According to an article from USA Today, Dr. Romie Mushtaq, who grew up amid farms in Danville, Ill., had already seen her share of pigs before one ambled into the Delta Air Lines gate area at Boston’s Logan airport. She recorded the scene like others who enjoyed seeing the pig snuffling oats off the floor — until the flight of business travelers headed to New York began boarding.

“All of a sudden, it wasn’t entertainment anymore,” she said. “Every other passenger on the flight, you could see jaws tensing up, people straightening their backs, especially people with an empty seat, thinking, ‘Oh, my goodness, am I going to be sitting next to this pig on a leash for the entire flight?’”

Mushtaq, a doctor based in Orlando, has prescribed dogs with training to anticipate seizures for epileptic patients. But after the pig encounter, she found no justification in peer-reviewed medical publications to justify other animals for emotional support.

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Here is an actual list of animals that have been allowed on planes: dogs, cats, pigs, turkey, a miniature horse, a kangaroo, a boa constrictor, turtle and monkey. A turtle? Seriously? Who derives emotional comfort from a turtle?!!? It’s basically a painted rock. Look, I’m all in support of people being comforted by their pets, but a plane isn’t fecking Noah’s Ark. When I’m on a plane, I can barely tolerate the other people who act and smell badly enough already. Now you’re telling me that I have to tolerate the sounds and smells of a barnyard? I don’t think so.

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If I’m in the cabin of a plane and any kind of animal poops on the floor, I want my money back. I’m not opposed to people having trained support animals, but an enclosed aluminum tube 30,000 feet in the air isn’t the place for them. And what if a fellow flier has an allergy to certain animals or kinds of fur? Does anyone ask that?

Most of these people are anxious flyers and petting their soft cuddly animal comforts them. Aww, that’s sweet. Your anxiety is relieved. What about your freaking animal who has no idea what the hell is going on? You think they’re anxious? That’s just what we need, a monkey having it’s own anxiety attack on a plane. You know what my emotional support animal is? An Ambien and a glass of wine! Go see your doctor like a normal person and get a sleeping pill or a Valium, knock yourself out for the flight and your anxiety will go way down.

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Fortunately, this week the Federal Aviation Administration met to revise rules about service animals on flights. The results aren’t in, but here’s hoping that the new rule allows only stuffed animals on flights.

Have a great Saturday, and feel free to attack me in the comments section here! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesday! Cat In A Bowtie

Those of you that follow my Instagram know my love of ties, so it should not surprise you that I bought my cat a bowtie. Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Scariest/Creepiest TV Shows Ever

There’s nothing I enjoy more than being on the edge of my seat. I’m not talking horror or gore. I’m talking pure, can’t take your eyes off the screen, I can’t believe this is happening suspense. With the news that the early 90’s classic Twin Peaks would be returning next year with eighteen new episodes I began re-watching seasons 1 & 2 from 1990 and 1991. I also got to thinking about the best suspense TV shows I’ve watched. I’ve watched 8 of the 10 on the list and included the two others on reputation. This is a very subjective list, so if you have other suggestions I’d love to hear them.

Twilight Zone: This may be the original classic suspense show. I didn’t see it in it’s first run, but saw it later in re-runs. I fly fairly regularly for my job and I’m always tempted to yell ‘There’s a man on the wing!” If you get the reference, in the comments tell me what actor screamed it.

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The X-Files: A 90’s classic that returned to the small screen for a limited run last year. It was great in it’s time and improved as it grew in popularity. Not every episode was the perfect cocktail of suspense and disbelief, but it was often enough to make my list.

American-Gothic

American Gothic: Maybe I just like this because I have the painting on a tie. Which is more famous, the painting or the movie? Who heard of one but not the other? I didn’t see this show, but loved the title and heard others give it high praise. You win 50 points to spend in The Phil Factor gift shop if you can tell me, without looking it up, what artist did the famous painting.

LOST: Apparently I’m stuck in the 90’s. For one glorious season LOST was awesomely suspenseful and mysterious. Then the writers all seemed to lose their minds.

The Walking Dead: There’s just so many. So many zombies. Just the tiniest scratch. Any moment you could become one of them. Your group is getting picked off one by one. There could be one or one hundred around any corner. You just never know.

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American Horror Story: I haven’t watched this one. Yet. I plan to, but no one else in my family wants to see it, so I have to find some time to watch when no one is around. That’s the best time to watch scary stuff anyway, right?

In Search Of… Leonard Nimoy rest in peace.  This was a late 70’s-early 80’s show that was part documentary, part reality show where they tried to debunk paranormal phenomena. As a kid I wanted to watch but it always freaked me out.

Kingdom Hospital: Also known as Stephen King’s Kingdom Hospital. This was a one season series that was based on a Danish show.  Look it up on Netflix or Hulu. Completely creepy, suspenseful and weird. I loved it.

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Stranger Things: Check this one out on Netflix. It was a new series for 2016. It’s only 8 episodes but season 2 begins on Oct. 27. This show set out to capture the aura of those cool, creepy 80’s Stephen King based movies and it succeeded brilliantly.

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Twin Peaks: As I said, I recently began re-watching the original series and it stands the test of time. It’s still awesomely creepy and weird. If you were a fan of the show and want to see a funny, hour-long spoof featuring many of the actors and actresses from the original look up the show Psych on Netflix and find the Dual Spires episode in 2010/5th season of the show. After you do that, go back and watch the entire Psych series from season 1. It’s brilliantly funny with a little suspense.

So what did I miss? What would you add to the list and what would you take away? Please give opinions and suggestions. I’d love some good, new or old shows to watch. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Music Monday! Bowling For Soup: High School Never Ends

Have a great Monday! ~Phil

Casting For ‘Time To Lie’ Movie

Some time in the near future when my novel Time To Lie gets to be made into a movie, here are who I want to play the main characters:

Tom Holland who played played Spider-Man in the recent Marvel Civil War and Spiderman: Homecoming movies and will be Spider-Man again in two more movies and would be an excellent Landon Bridges unless he’s too old when we make the movie.

Rose Leslie of Game of Thrones would make a very good Siobhan. I’m pretty sure she’d give up Game of Thrones to play Siobhan in the movie. She was also in 8 episodes of Downton Abbey. I suppose she’ll have to fake an American accent.

Ansel Elgort, best known for his co-leading role in The Fault in Our Stars, would be my choice for Landon’s friend Salami.

Ken Jeong of The Hangover is a little young for the character of Dr. Kuroda, but with a little hair and makeup, he’s got the perfect vibe to play the eccentric mentor to Landon Bridges.

For the role of Future Landon I would like to cast myself or Tom Cruise. We’re both about the right age and look to be Landon from the future. He was also born in the same hospital as me. I may mention that when I’m pitching the role to him and his agent. Has an author ever been cast in a movie as his own character? I let you decide. Answer the poll below:

Those are my choices. What do you think? Did you picture any of the characters differently? Time to Lie is now available on Amazon in both e-book and paperback formats. It is also now available as an audiobook on Amazon and Audible!

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil