Throwback Thursday! Body By Phil

08/24/13 According to the results of a study published by Dr. Tracy L. Tyka of Ohio State University, “Men are affected by those pressures in the media … or the pressures that others put on them to look more muscular,” she said.

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For years women have decried the unrealistic images of feminine beauty portrayed in the media. “That’s unrealistic,” we heard. “No real woman looks like that.”  “She’s airbrushed.” “Those are fake.” Well guess what ladies, it’s our turn.

That’s right. You just need to back off and let us get fat. We may all be working on 6-pack abs, but it’s a 6-pack of Budweiser. Let’s call a truce between men and women. How about if the men stop idealizing Hollywood anorexics and supermodels and you stop drooling over Bradley Cooper and Matthew McConaughey? We’ll let you have your curves if you let us have ours. In fact, it’s my opinion that men have it harder than women when it comes to pressure to have perfect bodies. Yes, you heard me right. On the dating scene you may think you need to be all tall and busty to attract men, but that is far from the truth. We’re guys. All you have to do is to be female and we’re happy with that. Do we have standards that we judge women’s bodies by? Of course we do. If you have a body we’re basically happy. Women on the other hand demand their men be 6 feet tall and built like a Greek god.

I think Dr. Tracy L. Tyka of Ohio State University said it best when she said, “Instead of pressuring men to be more muscular, (we need to) accept men’s bodies for what they are and instead focus on internal characteristics.”

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Hey, I don’t create the news, I just report it. If a scientist says it, then it must be true. That’s right ladies, we’re not just sex objects, we have feelings too ya’ know! Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about me.  I’m a total smokin’ hottie.  I was at the Man Meeting the other night and some of the other guys were getting down about this stuff, so I told them I’d mention it to you.

As always, if you enjoy what you read here at #ThePhilFactor please hit the Facebook or Twitter share buttons because that’s a form of exercise too.  If you enjoy my humor in the short form here you may enjoy more of it in the form of my books that are in the sidebar there. Have a great Thursday!

I (Theresa) May Be A Psychic!

Actually, there is no “may” be a psychic. I am and I’ve gotten another one right. In my annual predictions post back on December 30th I said, “Will Brexit Exit? And What About Theresa May’s Love Life? I’m bringing back an old prediction because it looks like it will be coming true, just not in the exact time frame that I foresaw. In December of 2016 I predicted that Britain would try to reverse course and not leave the European Union. In that prediction that you can read HERE I predicted the reversal of Brexit plans and I also predicted the hashtag #UnBrexit. Feel free to go check Twitter for that, it’s there. The oddity about this prediction is that the Brexit drama will end Theresa May’s reign as Prime Minister. She will be an outcast in her own country and will move to the United States, write love letters to imprisoned Donald Trump, and eventually begin a relationship, with conjugal visits, that will end in marriage. Sorry about that conjugal visit image that’s now stuck in your head. If it’s in my head, I want it in your head.”

If you hadn’t heard Theresa May is resigning as British Prime Minister effective June 7th. Now we just need to see how soon she and Donald Trump start hooking up.

Theresa, when she heard my prediction five months ago.

I’d also like to predict that you’ll read my hilarious books because they might be full of psychic predictions. That’s right, what if I have carefully woven psychic predictions into the plot throughout? They are stories about a time traveler, so is it possible that maybe they aren’t fiction? Maybe I’m getting my future predictions from a reliable source. You’ll never know unless you read them!

I’m predicting you will have a great weekend! ~Phil

THIS IS NOT A DRILL! The Last Locked Door is here!

The long awaited sequel to Time To Lie is now available for both Kindle and in paperback thanks to the wonderful folks (aka Jim Bernheimer) at Amber Cove Publishing.

Excerpts from pre-release reader reviews:

Wonderful Sequel by Phil Taylor! This was such a great read! I literally could not put this book down. It was funny, creative, dramatic and sarcastic all rolled into one. The author really knows how to connect the characters with the reader. I cared about each and everyone of them right from the start. So many pop-cultural references — from my college days to the present — that made this book even more enjoyable! ~ Lisa T

Another Great Book by Phil Taylor: I always enjoy reading Phil’s books and this one is no exception. He has a unique writing style that makes it very easy and enjoyable to read… Read Time to Lie first but then go back and read his others books too! ~K. Steward

This is the sequel to Time To Lie, and if you haven’t read that, why not? Want to get in at the start of a great series? You can get Time To Lie Kindle edition for FREE from today until April 30th! It’s a time traveling suspense mystery and you can ride shotgun with Landon in this thriller as he unravels the puzzle just in time!

Don’t fear though, there’s enough laughs to keep you entertained and enough heart to keep you rooting for Landon and his friends. Want a fun weekend read? These books are the perfect length for that!

Sincerely, if you do take the time to read my books, I am grateful. I know that as a reader many of you take your time and book choices seriously, so I understand the ultimate compliment you give me when you choose to read one of my books. Here’s the direct links to Amazon:

The Last Locked Door: Kindle edition

The Last Locked Door: Paperback

If you would like to read and review my book on your blog, just say so in the comments and I will get you a free Kindle copy! Also, the best thing you can do to help your favorite author, me or someone else, is to write a short review on Amazon after finishing the book. Have a great weekend and happy reading! ~Phil

Coming Soon!

It’s the long awaited sequel to Time To Lie!

Landon has only scratched the surface…

Landon barely survived his freshman year at college, and he’s discovering that he has only scratched the surface of his time traveling powers. He plans to do good with his newfound powers, but a murderous pair of mystery men would kill to stop him.

His hilarious friends are back with him for his sophomore year at college and as he’s making new friends, he’s also learning that no one can be trusted, maybe not even those in his inner circle.

Landon meets a beguiling but mysterious girl who intrigues him with the possibility that she can see inside his soul and into the future. Is she for real, and will she steal him away from his beloved Siobhan?

There’s treachery at every turn and Landon is in a time traveling fight for his life and many others. He knows that he can’t do this alone, but who can he trust?

The truth is just a lie you’ve chosen to believe, and yours may be different than mine.

If you enjoyed the first one, you’re in for plenty of new surprises in this one. If you didn’t read the Time To Lie, why not? It’s available for Kindle, Audible, and in paperback. It’s a fun, fast read. Get caught up on the story and get ready for The Last Locked Door (at the end of the universe). If you’d like to get a free Kindle copy of The Last Locked Door in exchange for a review on Amazon, just say so in the comments and I’ll add you to the exclusive list of early edition reviewers.

~Phil

Happy 14th Blogiversary To Me!

I like to mark important dates in my life, and this is one of my favorites every year. Yes, “blogiversary” is a word. It’s a word because I’m celebrating the birth of The Phil Factor on April 3rd, 2005. And because I’m the only blogger here who has been around for 14 years I’m going to take credit for inventing the word Blogiversary. Truth be told, I think I might be only the third oldest blog in world history behind this wonderfully nice woman from New Zealand and some guy who’s been blogging about video games since they were on floppy discs. Sheesh! He needs to get a life, am I right?

In my fourteen years I’ve met many wonderful friends through blogging. As a group I think bloggers are the nicest people I’ve never met.

To celebrate my 14th blogiversary I’ll give you the fourteen most popular posts in Phil Factor history. Enjoy!

14. 2016 Predictions from a Legit Psychic: People seem to like predictions. I think this did well because I included a Bieber and a Kardashian.

13. Me and Billie Joe ArmstrongOne of my favorites and a favorite by music lovers, and yet still no interview with Green Day.

12. Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Funny Tweets I do love my Twitter.

11. Liar, Liar Pants on Fire: The Interview with Magician James DavidA unique chance meeting led to this post with a unique guy, and he is now The Official Magician of The Phil Factor. 

10. People Are Stupid So Why Should It BeIt’s possible that people are so stupid that they thought this had something to do with REM. It doesn’t but I did have some good ranting about stupid people all around us..

9. About MeApparently some of my readers are curious about me as a person. It’s absolutely riveting reading.

8. The Ten Most Painful Things That Have Ever Happened To Me: I was very surprised at how many people are interested in pain.

7. Ten Idiotic Things Celebrities Have BoughtA fool and their money are soon parted

6. The Top Ten Psychic Pick Up LinesIt turns out that psychics need a lot of help making a love connection

5. The Rolling Stones Are Liars: My Class ReunionThe class reunion. An American institution. Not surprisingly, this was a nostalgic look back. Admittedly, I do nostalgia well. I should probably give up the jokes.

4. Meet The Author: Christopher Moore (yes that Christopher Moore) One of my nicest interview subjects ever and when he shared the interview to his social media it did very well.

3. Three Things… The fact that this did so well is an ode to search engine optimization. It’s just some idiotic jokes about a few popular celebrities.

2. Real Sexting Conversations To Read In HindiIt turns out that the horny Hindi speaking folks want help with sexting and I accidentally stumbled into that.

1. Twitter People vs. Facebook PeopleThis 2013 post was the top trending humor topic on Reddit for over 24 hours and I got over 17,000 views that day. I thought the WordPress stats software was broken.

Those 14 posts are a nice slice of the last five years, when I migrated my Blogger blog to WordPress. Feel free to scroll all the way back to April of 2005 if you want over a decade of my inane thoughts. Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing my idiocy all these years. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Breakfast With Sheldon and Amy

Last weekend I swear that I had breakfast in a cafe at a table next to Big Bang’s Sheldon and Amy. You know how characters in television shows are caricatures or exaggerations of stereotypes of groups of people? I first watched The Big Bang Theory years ago when it was a new show and I thought to myself, “There’s not that many nerd jokes. How long can this show possibly last?” Apparently the answer to that is twelve years. And apparently that show is not an exaggeration of actual nerds.

Last weekend my wife and I went to a vegan cafe. I think that last sentence might be the weirdest thing I write today. I’m not exactly vegan. I’m vegan-ish, or vegan adjacent if you will. Oddly, I don’t have too much mockery of the vegan lifestyle yet. Anyway, back to Sheldon and Amy. So, at a vegan cafe, as you would suspect, it’s a hipster haven, full of vegan twenty-somethings in knit hats who, after they finish their half-caff caramel mocha frappucinno made with coconut milk, are off to picket the local supermarket for using plastic bags that cause dolphins to choke, even though we’re land-locked, at least a thousand miles from an ocean and dolphins never venture this far north.

As I was enjoying a stack of vegan pancakes the size of my head, I heard from the table next to me “Carbon nanotubes…”. I ignored the first mention of carbon nanotubes, because really, who cares about carbon nanotubes, unless they are actually in my delicious stack of vegan pancakes? But then I heard it again. Carbon nanotubes. And again like the slow dripping of a faucet that doesn’t stop and keeps you up at night. Carbon nanotubes are the best! I have to admit that after a while, his douchey pretentiousness was wearing off on me and I began to wonder about carbon nanotubes and whether I could shove them up his nose until they punctured his brain.

But oh no, the conversation wasn’t one sided. Sheldon’s girlfriend Amy had to join the fun. After Sheldon said, “Carbon is easily my favorite element, (what a maroon, Neptunium is easily the best element) Mrs. Carbon Nanotube replied, “Enzymes are awesome. We would be so fucked if we didn’t have enzymes!” At that moment, I exuberantly said to my wife, “Pancakes are awesome. We would be so fucked if we didn’t have pancakes!”

Have a great Monday and enjoy your pancakes and enzymes, because enzymes are awesome. ~Phil

*All pictures, except the pancakes, are property of CBS

Daylight Stupid Time!

This is my bi-annual reminder that tonight in the United States we move our clocks forward by an hour and my reminder to you that it’s stupid. I’ve been posting this every Fall and Spring since 2006 and will continue to do so until we do away with Daylight Savings Time.

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When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law getting rid of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know if all other countries do this. I do know that not all the U.S. states abide by it. Daylight Savings Time was created about 120 years ago to give farmers more daylight in which to do their work in the fields. Call me crazy, but why the hell didn’t someone just suggest that the lazy ass farmers drag themselves out of a bed a little earlier each day? Because those cud chewing, overall wearing, udder jerking lay-abouts can’t be bothered to set their alarm clocks we’re all stuck changing time?

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but about ten years ago the U.S. Congress, in another colossal waste of their time and our tax dollars, extended daylight savings time by a few weeks on either end.

First off, why isn’t it called daylight spending time since we are using more daylight in the summer months? Secondly, at this point the farmers (except the creepy Amish ones) all have electricity and alarm clocks, which may not have been the case 120 years ago. I can get away with saying that about the Amish because my demographic data shows that for some reason I have very low readership among the Amish. I guess they just don’t get me.

Reportedly the reason Congress did this is to save energy. How will changing our clocks twice a year save energy? Don’t we set our thermostats and use heat based on the outdoor temperature, not how light out it is? I’d like to save the energy I expend changing my clocks! I’d like Congress to tell me when I get that back. Congress has again proven to be the biggest collection of morons outside of…well…I guess I can’t think of a bigger collection. Why doesn’t Congress set their alarm clocks an hour earlier so they can get up early and get more of this important work done?

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B.T. dubs, if we set our clocks ahead an hour now but we turn them back in the Fall, over the course of a year what difference does it make? If we learned anythying from Marty McFly it was that we shouldn’t muck about with time. Also, according to statistics,  the day after we change our clocks there are more workplace injuries, car accidents, and for the day, a 10% rise in heart attacks.

I for one am not going to go for this stupid daylight savings time thing anymore. I don’t work at a farm or for Congress, so I told my boss that for 6 months I’ll be to work an hour early or late, however it works out. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, this is going to change

If you’d like to support my bid for President or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook, Twitter share button below, but hurry because you have an hour less to do it in this weekend. Or is it an hour more? Have a great weekend! ~Phil

#PHIL2020