Throwback Thursday! My Momentary Friends

I don’t think I know anyone who was at the Ariana Grande concert on Monday, but then again, I don’t know about my momentary friends, including my British blogging friends. May you all be safe and may you all be there today. When you see your momentary friends take that moment to give them a smile, a hello, or a thank you, because you just never know.

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(10/28/09) Despite how you perceive me here, I actually do have friends in the real world. Don’t laugh, I do. We all have many different kinds of friends though. We have friends from school, friends from work, friends in our neighborhoods or apartment buildings, and of course our blog friends. We also have what I like to think of as “momentary friends.” These are people who may enter our lives for only a moment every day or once a week, but in many ways are as important to us as are the friends for whom we profess love and longing.

It could be the cashier at the supermarket you always go to because she has a nice smile and makes small talk about the weather. The security guard outside your office who holds open the door as you leave each day. The girl at Supercuts who cuts your hair and asks about your plans for the weekend. The guy who says hello as he passes you on his nightly walk down your street. Or perhaps the blogger who updates almost daily with a heartwarming story or amusing anecdote. We all have about a hundred of these people in our lives and for me I enjoy their momentary friendship immensely. I think we all do. As much as family or friends whom we know by name, these people also provide us with a sense of security. Often, more than “real” family or friends our “momentary friends” are dependable. They’re always there for us with that smile and hello, or perhaps only a knowing nod. Day in and day out, sometimes for years these nameless people are part of our lives and I miss them and worry about what happened to them when they don’t show up in my daily routine.

The fun for me is providing them with names and stories. I like to imagine who they are outside of that moment in time when our paths cross. How and why did they come to be part of my life every day? The best part though is naming them.

Some of the names we give these people are flattering and some are not. No matter where any of you live, I think you’ve all met my friend, “Man with bad toupee.” Then of course in every neighborhood we all know “Woman with enormous ass who’s always bending over doing yard work.” “Girl walking dog” always seems so nice. You have no idea where she lives, but she appears around the corner every evening at the same time.

One person I hate, but would somehow miss if he/she were gone is “Yellow Saturn A-hole.” This jerk parks his/her yellow Saturn in my street every day, completely blocking off traffic on that side of the street. As infuriating as this is to me, if they moved away I’d miss the little adrenaline rush I get as I curse them while I sit behind their parked car waiting for traffic to pass so I can get by. It’s only perhaps a 10 second inconvenience about 5 times a week, but that adds up to 50 seconds per week, 3 minutes and 20 seconds per month, or 40 minutes per year. That may not seem like much, but since I plan to live in my current house for the rest of my life, over the next 36 years Yellow Saturn A-hole will have wasted the equivalent of a full day of my life.

This post is dedicated to my favorite momentary friends: Hairdresser Nikki, Indian Girl at Dunkin’ Donuts, Walking Man, Rollerblading Girl with dog, and Security Guard. Without these people and their momentary friendship my day would be incomplete. I could probably do without Yellow Saturn A-hole though. This post is also dedicated to all of you whom I would miss tremendously if I didn’t see your little face or avatar in my likes or comments section regularly.

As always, if you like what you read please hit the Facebook or Twitter share button below and I would be humbled if you considered me as your momentary friend. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesday! Are You On The Right Track?

“Changing the way you think is like a locomotive that switches tracks and heads in a new direction, taking the rest of the train – behavior, actions and habits – right along with it.” –Mitch Temple

Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons Cats Are Better Than Dogs

Last week I gave dogs and the dog people their due in the worlds oldest debate.  This week it’s the cats turn. Don’t worry, I have no plans to continue comparing animals.

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10. Cattitude: You’ve got to respect their aloofness. They’re not all needy like dogs. If you’re gone 5 minutes, a dog acts like you’ve returned from the Bataan Death March while your cat just checks his watch and goes back to sleep.

9. Pooping indoors: When it’s cold and snowy and my dog has got to go at 6 a.m. I have to take her out. My cat on the other hand is even more stealthy about his bowel movements than I am. Cats are the ultimate Poop at Home People.  Some cats can even poop on a toilet.

8.  Cats are never sick: My cat has been to the vet two times in three years. My dog? Dogs get ear infections as often as an 8 year old at summer camp.

7. Toonces: I don’t recall any Saturday Night Live skits about dogs, do you?

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6. Cats are natural ghost hunters: If there’s a ghost in your house cats will always spot them and either run away or follow the invisible-to-you spectre.  Dogs don’t have that kind of attention span, leaving you completely vulnerable to ghost attacks. (Thank you to Rene of Mind Chatter for that one)

5. Cats poop in a box: With dogs it could be anywhere in your yard and you have to find it like you’re in a disgusting Easter egg hunt.

4. Has anyone ever made a Broadway play called Dogs?

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3. Cats will run around the house at full speed at 3 a.m. just to make sure you’re not sleeping too soundly.

2. Cats will ignore you until you’re ready to go to work or out to dinner; then they’ll rub against to you ensure that your clothes look like you rolled around in a fur factory. That’s how they say I love you.

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1. Cats are realists: If your plane goes down in the Andes mountains, your dog will either run down the mountain trying to find help, only to ultimately die of frostbite, or it will cuddle with you to leech away your body warmth so it could survive. A cat in that situation would start eating you before you were even dead.

That funny cat in the last picture looking like he’s surrendering to the authorities is my cat Brady. I’ve got a cat and dog, so I love both for different reasons and their interactions are always fun to watch. If you can think or any other funny reasons cats or dogs are better than the other feel free to add in the comments. Have a great Tuesday! ~ Phil

Music Monday! Sir Sly: High

Before anyone reacts, yes, I realize this song seems to imply drug use. That being said, I do not recommend, support, or participate in illegal drug use. I like the sound of the chorus of this song. This song is also part of the soundtrack of 13 Reasons Why which is a controversial Netflix series that deals with teen suicide. I am also not in favor of teen or adult suicide. Sir Sly first found fame in 2013 when their song Gold was used in a promo  for a video game. Later it was also used in a Cadillac commercial.

Don’t do drugs and don’t kill yourself. Have a great Monday! ~Phil

Sharknado 5 is Coming!

Yes, the SyFy network has announced the release date for Sharknado 5. It appears the title will be Sharknado 5 Earth 0. If you’ve never watched the Sharknado series of movies you’re missing out on a modern classic, tongue in cheek, campy, cheesy version of the disaster movie genre.

In 2013 the first Sharknado took the world by storm and it’s iconic, signature image was that of Fin Shephard (played by Ian Ziering) chainsawing his way out of a shark that had swallowed him and his chainsaw. The fact that a shark movie has a main character named Fin tells you this isn’t a movie that takes itself too seriously.

Here is the published synopsis of Sharknado 5: With much of North America lying in ruins, the rest of the world braces for the inevitable – a global sharknado. Fin Shepard and his family must put a stop to this disaster before Earth is completely obliterated. That just oozes with so much sharky goodness. I can’t wait.

Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath and Ian Ziering

In addition to Tara Reid returning as Fin’s wife, part of the awesomeness of this movie series is the cavalcade of guest star cameo’s including Mark Cuban, Jerry Springer, Mark McGrath, Anne Coulter, Al Roker, Frankie Muniz, Vivica Fox, Gary Busey, Cheryl Tiegs, Steve Guttenberg, Carrot Top, and almost every pro wrestler, YouTube and reality TV star you can name. With #Sharknado5 going international you can bet that there will be an international cast of characters. Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkonson of Australia’s The Today Show have already revealed that they have cameo’s in Sharknado 5 as have Good Morning Britain’s Charlotte Hawkins, Kate Garraway, and Laura Tobin. British Olympic swimmer Tom Daley is also appearing in Sharknado 5.

Also, I have a special affinity for the movie series because two years ago #Sharknado actor and theme song musician Robbie Rist was interviewed here on #ThePhilFactor. I can’t make any promises, but I’m going to try to land an interview with someone else from the movie. Consider yourself on notice and clear your calendar for the evening of August 6th! Stay tuned!

Have a great Sharkday Sunday! ~Phil

Goats Do Yoga? More like Goats Gone Wild!

A lot of people ask me, “Phil, where do you get your crazy ideas for #ThePhilFactor?” Sometimes it’s the news, sometimes it’s my experiences that week, and other times forces from beyond that we don’t understand speak to me. That was the case this week when last night my friend brought out the bottle of wine pictured above. I thought to myself, “Gosh that’s true. Goats do roam, but I wonder if they do yoga?” And then the clouds parted and a golden ray of sunshine beamed down upon my weary brow and the universe said, in a voice much like James Earl Jones, “Yes Phil, goats do yoga.” Some people are disturbed when the universe speaks to them, but I’m getting used to it. It’s a little tiresome though when the universe gets drunk and tells the same stories over and over. It is also a little alarming how often the universe is drunk. I think the universe was drunk when it came up with goat yoga. Watch the video:

And it’s not just this one farm in Oregon! Go to Youtube! It’s happening everywhere. I think it’s great, but what if the goats start acting like … well, goats? What if they poop on people or chew their clothes? The people’s clothes, not the goats. Although, I wonder, how close are we to seeing goats in yoga pants?

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See that? I’m pretty sure having goats hard, pointy feet in my back is going to hurt. If I’m doing yoga with animals, baby goats might make my top ten list, but they’re not #1. Why not puppies, kittens, or baby teacup pigs?

Now that goat yoga is popular, I can imagine this trend taking off with people trying yoga with all kinds of animals. Unfortunately there will probably be some Darwinism thinning of the herd, so to speak, when some of the dumber people try yoga with the wrong animals. Or just animals who decide they don’t want to do any fecking yoga. In my mind right now I’m picturing a yoga class gone awry as the animals attack and people are screaming and trying to flee. That’s definitely not going to be a very zen feeling.

Namaste everybody. Have a great goat filled weekend! ~Phil

The Perfect Weekend Beach Read

With summer upon us many of you are going to the beach or just relaxing outside. In case you only access The Phil Factor from your phone, I know you’d hate to miss all the spectacular content in my sidebars. One piece of this incredible sidebar content is my books. Yes, some of you may not even be aware that I’ve written a few books. Nothing serious, just some fun, suspenseful weekend beach read type books that are available as e-books or in paperback.

A group of friends with a penchant for goofy nicknames return to their hometown for a funeral and what had been a pleasant, albeit melancholy, reunion quickly escalates into a fight for their lives with an enemy they didn’t know they had. Putting up with each others quirks with good humor they must unravel a mystery that may have started thirty years ago. They unwittingly stumble and fumble their way into a life or death showdown that could kill them all. The question is not whether they will survive the bad guys, but will they survive each other? One reader likened the characters to “the kids from Stephen King’s classic ‘Stand By Me’ but grown up and on crack.” (No one does drugs in the story. I think she was referring to the humor in the novel)

The e-book is only $2.99 and is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and all the other e-book outlets. It’s also available in paperback for $8.23 on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Have a great Friday! ~Phil