Wordless Wednesday! Revenge

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On a E. 7th St. in the Ybor district of Tampa there is a sidewalk filled with engraved paving stones. Some are memorials to a lost loved one with birth and death dates, some are inspirational messages, one is a wedding proposal, and then there’s this. I don’t don’t know who Brian is, but he made someone really mad.

Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil 

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Funny Tweets

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I’m traveling this week for both vacation and work, so you get some jokes from some other funny people who don’t have blogs. If you don’t Twitter, you should try it. It’s fun! If you aren’t sure how Twitter works, read A Guide to Twitter for The Non Twits. If you want to follow me on Twitter, you can find me @ThePhilFactor

This one is the story of my life:

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Music Monday: The Wrecks

I love this song. It’s got a very different, fun, frenetic sound. The Wrecks three song debut EP dropped last April and once radio stations heard it, this song started getting airplay. The Wrecks have only been a band for a little over a year, but based on that little three song debut they’ve already opened on a major tour with Nothing But Thieves. Enjoy the song and have a great Monday! ~Phil

 

The Snowpocalypse! (aka Snow in the South)

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It happened last week. The annual snowpocalypse in the southeastern United States. For those of you from other countries, there are parts of the United States that get a lot of snow for about four months every year. I live in one of those unfortunate places. For us, getting a foot (30 centimetres) of snow overnight just means that we have to spend a little extra time clearing our driveway before we go to work. In the southeastern region of the United States they get snow about once a year, and when they get it, it’s about one to three inches (2-6 centimetres). What makes us Northerners laugh is their reaction to it, or rather their overreaction to it.

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Now I know that making fun of southerners reaction to snow is as easy as shooting fish in a barrel, which is apparently something they do in the South. Maybe that’s why they get so upset by snow. Maybe their barrels freeze over and they can’t shoot fish. We’ve all seen news footage of people fleeing a hail of bullets during a terrorist attack. That’s exactly how people in the south flee a hail of…well, hail. Although in the South they’ll try shooting back first, because everyone in the south in America is ‘packing’.

Last year Atlanta, Georgia got a couple inches of snow one day and immediately every motor vehicle on the road just stopped. They didn’t break down or anything, they all put it in park and just sat there waiting for the sun to return. School buses full of children on their way home stopped. The kids slept overnight on the buses parked on the highways.  Businesses everywhere just closed up until the white stuff was all gone. Remember when you were a kid and you and your siblings would play that game where you pretend the floor is lava and you have to jump from furniture to furniture? That’s southerners with snow.

This is how we handle snow on the roads up north:

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If you’re a grocery store owner in the south you pray for that snowmaggedon each year because in the south people imagine that when that two inches of snow hits, they’re going to have to “hunker down” and survive in their homes for who knows how long. When two inches of snow is forecast they all race to the store to stock up on “provisions.”  Families start drawing straws to see which family member they’ll eat first when they run out of food.

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I don’t know if there’s any phenomena quite like this anywhere else in the world. If any of you from other countries know of the same or a similar pattern of behavior in your country, I’d love to hear about it. The irony of me posting this today is the fact that I’m in sunny Florida vacationing right now. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! A Conversation With My Future Grandchildren

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(Jan. 9, 2016) The genesis for this post occurred when I was eating at a diner recently. Nearby was a table of ten elderly folks, all looking about 70 if i had to guess. Maybe they were high school friends who still get together weekly. I wasn’t paying them much attention other than the fleeting thought that I wouldn’t want to be the waitress cashing them out when they’re all trying to pay for their meals individually, with exact change and coupons from other restaurants. Suddenly, very clearly, I heard one sentence of their conversation uttered by one of the women. She said, “We grew up without frosting.”

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Really? That’s her tale of woe? No frosting was the biggest hardship when she grew up in the old days? I remember my grandparents, who were born in the early 1900’s telling tales of The Great Depression and World War II. My parents told stories of growing up without television and gathering around the radio at night to listen to their family’s favorite shows. Then it occurred to me that someday I’ll be passing on my own tales of “the good old days” to my grandchildren.

Picture a beautiful brick fireplace filled with the warm glow of holgraphic  fire. Imagine elderly Phil wearing a cardigan and sitting in a large, red velvet covered chair with a young child on each knee.

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Xena: “Grampa Phil, what was it like when you were young?”

Me: “What do you mean when I was young? Are you saying I’m not? I’m just kidding you little whippersnapper! When I was young, old people said things like whippersnapper, and we didn’t have wi-fi!

Kylo Ren: No wi-fi? But how did you connect to the internet?

Me: There was no such thing as the internet when I was your age. In fact, we had to learn how to do math in our heads, or by writing on paper.

Xena: What’s math?

Me: Oh, never mind. That’s just a thing with numbers. Speaking of numbers, when I was a your age we used real numbers alot, like when we dialed a telephone.

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Kylo Ren: Wow! You dialed a real telephone? Was it hard? What does “dial” mean? 

Me: (ignoring last question) And our telephones were connected to the wall by a cord! We could only walk about six feet with our phones.

Xena: Why? Did they think you were going to steal them? Were you in prison?

Me: No, (chuckling) I wasn’t in prison and President Bieber was just a singer back then too. Not a good one, but…ok, there’s no buts. He just wasn’t a very good singer. He’s a much better President.

Now that Trump is President, the idea of Bieber someday being President doesn’t seem so far fetched, does it? Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesday! The Demon Chiropractor of Fleet Street

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I saw this office yesterday and had to take the picture. Ok, maybe I should have titled this Slightly Wordy Wednesday. Think about that picture. Two adults with the last name Sweeney intentionally named their son Todd. I salute their sense of humor. Imagine how often, when teachers were taking attendance or he’s waiting at the DMV and someone reading the name listed alphabetically had to announce aloud, “Sweeney, Todd.”  Sadly young Todd didn’t have enough of a sense of humor to grow up to be a barber or perhaps a surgeon. If you don’t get the joke, read this. It was also a 2007 movie starring Johnny Depp. 

Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten TV Doctors

The medical drama or comedy is a staple of television lineups on just about any network, any night of the week. Who though, are the best television doctors of all time? Here’s my list. If you have other ideas, please leave a comment.

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10. Dr. Perry Cox, Scrubs: He was the biggest jerk ever on a medical show, but he was hilarious as he abused the residents. Scrubs was also a very underrated great show.

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9. House: Overrated show. If you watched the first three episodes you could see the formula every other episode followed: Strange symptoms, they think it’s something, but then almost kill the patient twice while trying to figure it out and in the end House has some brilliant insight and saves the day.  All that being said, Hugh Laurie is a great actor.

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8. Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman: A smokin’ hot woman out on the frontier saving lives? #badass

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7. Doogie Howser,MD: This is more of a lifetime achievement award for Neil Patrick Harris because he was so good on How I Met Your Mother.

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6. Dr. John Watson: Played impeccably by Martin Freeman, who is in everything.

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5. Dr. Spock from the original Star Trek show. Only the original will do. For bonus points, can anyone guess the link between this weeks Top Ten list and last weeks?

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4. Dr. Meredith Grey: I think I saw the first episode and never watched it again, but people love it, so here she is. Spoiler alert: There will be no Dr. McDreamy.

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3. Dr. Seuss, aka Theodor Suess Geisel. Dude could rhyme anything. He was a rapper before rapping was a thing. My kids had a Dr. Suess book I’d read to them in a rap cadence and they hated that. The guy that created the Grinch has to be on any list of doctors.

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2. Dr. Hawkeye Pierce, played by Alan Alda on MASH for 11 years. In the early seasons, about the only time his character didn’t have a martini was when he was in surgery.

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1. Dr. Who: Look, I know a lot of you Americans have never seen the show, but Dr. Who has a 50 year run going. You’ve gotta respect that. Also, not only does Dr. Who save lives, he saves planets and universes on a daily basis. They’ve changed the actor who plays the doctor twelve times and people just keep watching.

That’s my list. Who would you add or take away? And why?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil