In the past 18 months I’ve gone to too many funerals and honestly they were not nearly as fun as they should have been. I think funerals should be conducted as wedding receptions are. Really, what’s the difference? People stand up and make speeches about the guests of honor at both occasions. I do think that dancing with the guest of honor at funeral would be tacky, but not out of the question. Music, dancing, drinking, and presents for the survivors of the deceased would make funerals much more popular events than they currently are. That would however bring up the question, what is a good funeral present? When I was a kid the standard gift was a casserole of some kind. It seemed like everytime anyone died my mother would bake up a casserole of some kind and send me to bring it to the grieving neighbors. Somehow I don’t think a casserole is an adequate replacement for a lost loved one. How about a plasma t.v. that could hang on the wall? Now that would be an adequate replacement for a lost loved one! (That’s a not so subtle hint for those of you that know me) And why are eulogies always so sad? I think the eulogy should be conducted as a roast of the loved one.(Not literally though) I tried this humorous strategy to mixed response at my mother’s funeral 7 months ago. On the altar of a Catholic church I suggested that since my mother was such a neat freak in life it might be appropriate to spread her ashes on the carpet and vacuum them up. She would have appreciated that. I wasn’t looking at the priest, but apparently he appeared quite aghast. Needless to say though, the right people laughed. I think every funeral should have a reception afterwards. Not the usual wake at the deceased’s house eating casseroles. Why not rent out a big banquet hall and have entertainment? If my pallbearers don’t hook up with the mourning hot chicks in the coat room at the reception I will specifically ask God to send them to Hell. (Only for a little while though) I think I’ve just found my second career. I’m going to put on funeral receptions. Entertainment, food, dancing, the works! I think people would feel a lot better about blowing thousands of dollars on a funeral if they got to have a good time at it. I’ll be The Funeral Planner! I can’t wait for the movie starring Jennifer Lopez.
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For those of you who rode the short bus to my blog, look at the picture as the “Am I Gone” Funeral Home. There really is one of those near me.
I love the idea!!! We could start a business.Oh and not that you bothered to inquire further…*ahem* but for my degrees of seperation….I actually spoke to Julia Roberts Mother on the phone once. And my mom went to school with Patrick Swayze and The Undertaker, I’ve got her yearbook to prove it. I can’t remember who else I said…
See?!!? Now that’s what I was looking for with The Phil Degrees of Separation post. I knew everyone would have stories like that. Thanks Linny.
I AM DYING LAUGHING (no pun intended). This one really cracked me up…did you really say that at your mom’s funeral? I did go to one funeral of a friend who had been killed in a motorcycle accident and it was a HUGE party just sharing about how fun and wonderful he was.And my sister and I got the giggles at my grandpa’s funeral and had to pretend we were crying so our mom wouldn’t get pissed off and slap us. It was fun.If I die, I’ll have my relatives call you. Better yet, if they die I’ll call you and maybe you can drop the hint so some mourners to get me a plasma screen!!!
I agree with you Phil. People are supposed to celebrate the fact that they had the wonderful experience of knowing you. I’m Irish, and I have to say, the funerals I’ve been to include drinking and everything else. It is really a celebration. Not everyone understands, but I can tell that you do.
You are totally hired to do my funeral.
….If I do NOT get creamated, and plaed on a fireplace mantle one day, I would LOVE a New Orldeans type funeral, where everyone walks, and there’s a load of crazy musicians playing obscure jazz music leading the procession. I’d LOVE to go to my own funeral…..you cant spell funeral with out the letters “REAL FUN”
Thanks for the laugh. I was checking out that funeral parlor sign to see if it was the fine craftmanship of a digital camera workshop. I’m linking your blog to mine, I’m trying to find signs of intelligent humor, the truth is out there….
Thanks Debbie. I’m glad you liked my blog.