No, I haven’t impregnated anyone. Not that I couldn’t mind you, I just haven’t done so lately. Nope, the girl I’m talking about is the one that called my oldest son on the telephone today. The brazen little hussy’s name is apparently Sarah. My son is 13 years old. He has never received a phone call from a girl who wasn’t his mother or grandmother. I have never been more proud of him than I am at this moment. Good grades in school? Who cares! Musical talent? What’s that worth? Athletic accomplishments? Please! A girl called my son! What could be more impressive than that? I think I’ll raise his allowance. He doesn’t need to do work around the house! I want him to rest up so he’s fresh for the ladies. He’s going to need more money for entertaining. I’m just disappointed that I can’t give him a car yet. It’s definitely not cool making out in the back seat of the school bus. Do you think it’s too soon to give him condoms and a fake ID?
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor. thephilfactor.com
Latest TweetsTweets by ThePhilFactor
Follow Blog via EmailJoin 6,034 other subscribers
High five to the little ladie’s man! I think it might be too early for condoms but you might want to think about getting him some booze. 😛>Lois Lane
My son is 14 and if a girl calls I am going to tell her to leave him alone! I KNOW how girls that age are because I was that way.
never too late for the condoms… of i remember junior high well enough they also make great bean shooters.
Oh dear lord, i don’t think i will survive my kids teen years!
What about some early driving lessons? Boys can do all kinds of things once they’ve got a car… >whatamI saying, he’s 13!
Is he taking after his dad already? 🙂
LOL….you’re too funny. You know when I was growing up, and a boy called me, my dad would walk by and step on the receiver so it would hang up on them. He was fairly stupid about it. I remember my sister had this one boyfriend who used to call from the driveway on his cell phone he was so afraid of my dad.
I don’t have children. I don’t plan to have children…I will never be in this position and I am snoopydancing because of that 🙂>>-N
At least the little man is training them the right way from the start. Does he have a cell phone yet so he can start screening his calls? Nice post. 🙂
Yes, he does have a cell phone, and today he asked me to buy him cologne.
Lol. Somehow I completely missed this post. That is sooo funny. With any luck he’s gotten some of his Dad’s charm…he’ll be lucky with the ladies… :0)>>i hope you guys didn’t tease him too much. I remember the first time I had a boy call. My entire family embarrassed me down to my toenails. Soon after, i got my own phone line.