Yes, it was Linny who correctly deduced that my stalker was nothing but fiction. An April Fools joke I conceived a week ago. I hope no one is mad. I do sincerely appreciate that most of you seemed genuinely concerned for my well-being. I am however a tad surprised at Michelle who scolded me to “stop feeding their ego!” I was hurt that she thought I would be so foolish as to publicize a crazy person’s delusional behavior. And really, let’s face facts, as much as I want to be famous, I don’t think I’ve quite achieved stalker-worthy status yet. To all of you who are perhaps angry with me or hurt that I would deceive you, I apologize. As I often tell my co-workers, I only joke with the people I really like. That I also mean sincerely. I considered many avenues by which to pull an April Fools prank, but anything else seemed too mean spirited. I thought of fatal illness or possible fame and fortune as avenues for my deception, but both seemed mean to either you or me. I now return you to the regularly scheduled idiocy that usually fills this space.