When A Stranger Calls…

Last week it was revealed that sometime after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001 the National Security Administration has been monitoring our telephone calls. Who we call, when we call, and how long we call for is all getting logged somewhere in Washington D.C. I’m fine with that, but I figure as long as it’s going on we might as well have fun with it. Now I realize that my phone calls in general are probably of very little interest to the U.S. government. I further realize that anyone who was not born in this country is probably getting their calls monitored on a very regular basis. My plan is this: I want everyone who has a friend or co-worker of Arabic descent to call up their friend and have the following conversation:

“Hey, it happened again. Hillary came over last night about 2:30 in the morning. Man was she drunk again. She said she can’t take it anymore. She said that she started this thing with George just to get back at Bill for the whole Monica thing, but George is just getting too weird. She said that Dubya actually likes to switch roles and dress up as the woman. Yeah, and then he wanted Cheney to watch. He said that Dick would join, but his heart couldn’t take it. Yeah, and he asked her to push “the big red button” again. He mentioned something about doing it on Air Force 1 next. What do you think I should tell her? How can she get out of this?”

It doesn’t matter what your friend replies. If you don’t have a friend of foreign heritage to make this call to, just go through the phone book and pick a foreign sounding name at random. That might be better. Just fire off the dialogue I’ve provided as fast as you can before you pretend that you got a wrong number. That way it might make it to the press quicker anyway. Of course, we already know the government is monitoring my blog because of all my subversive ideas, so the jig might already be up on this joke. Anyone out there want to volunteer to receive my call? I’m pretty sure if I’m calling out of the country they’ll be listening.

17 responses to “When A Stranger Calls…

  1. Anyone out there want to volunteer to receive my call? :::raising my hand::::::..lol 😉

  2. I was going to suggest that calls be directed to Canada…but then I remembered we don’t exist.And we NEVER had this conversation.

  3. LOL. You clearly have way too much time on your hands.

  4. Heidi- Great, keep your phone on.Tai- You’re right. Even if I call someone in Canada the chances our government would worry about that is pretty slim.dzeni- I wish I had too much time.

  5. just promise us one thing…when the men in black suits and sunglasses show up at your door, please, please blog about it…lol…

  6. I talk to someone in Ireland on a daiy basis…you think maybe they think I have ties to the IRA? Ick.lol-N

  7. I’d volunteer, but I have no phone or means of communication of any kind. Not even Internet access. I’ve never even <>seen<> a phone.

  8. HI FBI!!!In my MSN conversations i’ll be talking randomly to someone who lives in the states, and i’ll say something about the government…i’ll throw george bush, or CIA, FBI…etc…Into the sentence. It upsets him to no end.

  9. That’s freaking hilarious! – < HREF="http://nettiebelle.com" REL="nofollow">Nettie<>

  10. Haha. I don’t have any foreign friends except a Korean guy but he’s South Korean. It would be a fun joke though.

  11. d.- Consider it blogged. Natalia- There’s no way we’d let you in the IRA. Oops, did I say “we”? I didn’t mean that. It was a slip. HA HA just kidding.gyrobo- That’s not what my sources tell me.Princess- Of course your friend is upset when you mention George Bush. Any one with a brain in their head gets upset at the mention of George Bush.Nettie- Freaking? Wow, thanks.Will- Call your Korean friend. It’s close enough.

  12. Phil, you should check out the newest version of ROlling Stone. The article about G.Bush is entitled “The worst president in history”I read it on the way back from LV…it was a good read

  13. Thanks Princess. If you recommended it, that’s good enough for me.

  14. How did you know I had a call from Hillary? Have you been monitoring my phone?

  15. Another great post!

  16. i feel slightly paranoid now… i am certain the government will pick up on a very distinct calling pattern in my records and uncover my plot with papa john’s pizza delivery service

  17. The only blog with a low risk of sexual side effects?….oh shoot.

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