99 Bottles of Water on the Wall, 99 Bottles of Water…

Get one in the mail, pass it around, 98 bottles of water on the wall!

Everyday on my way to work I pass a bus stop shelter that has an advertising poster covering the entire end. What is says is this: 99BottlesofWaterForFree.com

Sounds great right? You just go to the website, give them your address and they send you 99 bottles of water. Millions of people spend money buying bottled water every day. What could be better than getting it for free right? I know what I’m giving to all my friends for Christmas and Hannukah!

I hate to be a cynic, but does anyone else think that this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen? Or perhaps a terrorist plot to poison us? One employee doesn’t wash his hands after using the restroom and we’ve got another e-coli epidemic just in time for the holidays! Or perhaps Osama Bin Laden met with his flunkies to come up with this scheme.

Osama: Well, the Americans, they have the airports and borders covered. Can anyone else think of a way to bring down the capitalist infidels without actually entering the country?

Flunkie #1: How about we get them to come here? We can just set up a resort, get it listed on one of those travel sites and behead the American dogs one by one as they enter. We’ve got plenty of sand. We could call it a beach resort.

Osama: “Flunkie #1, that is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. The Americans, they are not stupid. They won’t come to the middle east for vacation. Off with your head, it’s obviously not good for anything! (Schwing, lop, thud, rolling sound) Somebody clean that up, I can’t look at that! I’m right in the middle of my creme brulee’

Flunkie #2: “How about a website? I hear these Americans love this new internet thing. Maybe we could get them to buy something from us that would kill them! How about water, that’s cheap! We could even make them pay the shipping and handling.”

Osama: “Brilliant idea Flunkie #2! I think I’ll use it. Off with your head! (Schwing, lop, thud, rolling sound) Clean up on aisle 3!”

I’ve linked the website in the text above. Feel free to try it if you’re feeling brave.

7 responses to “99 Bottles of Water on the Wall, 99 Bottles of Water…

  1. If it looks too good to be true, it’s probably too good to be true. Just sayin’

  2. I’m very brave, but I’m not that brave. I am, however, twisted enough to give away loads of bottles of my dog’s bathwater, for example… So I don’t think I’ll jump on that offer.

  3. Well, Phil, I caved. I stared at that link for hours. And then I caved. Okay, actually, it was all of 3 seconds. I do not qualify because I do not own my home. Yet another reason (besides shower mildew) that renting sucks!

  4. Shit. I think I might have to return a package to the sender tomorrow.

  5. EWWWW…id never order water like that. Just like i’ll never eat any free samples of cereal or whatever, that comes in the mail. NO THANKS.Why dont places like Tiffany have promotions like that…sigh…

  6. It is a “phishing” site of sorts for Anderson Water so that they know where to send the pesky salesman or bug you by making that telemarketing call just as you want to digg into that tender steak!I bet they get a lot of false leads… especially after the bunch here have played their tricks by giving bogus info! 🙂

  7. The whole bottled water thing cracks me up. As long as its chemical formula is H2O, its cold, wet and bacteria / bug free, I’ll drink it. Back in Johannesburg, our water supply was constantly recycled and there was never a problem. Only good thing about bottled water is that here in NZ, the bottle is really good for reusing at dance class / sports stuff.

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