My local newspaper has a column in the sports section titled, “My Turn at Bat.” It’s where anyone can send in their opinions on anything in the world of sports. Two weeks ago I sent something in that made the cut and was used in the My Turn at Bat column last week. It was all in good fun, or so I thought. The local soccer writer took issue with a joke I made about soccer and attacked me on his blog which is on the newspapers website. Needless to say, I was thrilled with the additional publicity. First I’ll post what I wrote, then at the bottom I’ll provide you with the link so you can see what he wrote about me.
My Top Ten Holiday Sports Wishes
10. An AARP membership for the New York Yankees. They’re definitely getting older, but not necessarily better.
9. A pair of binoculars for the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Super Bowl champs need them to see the top of their division from where they are.
8. I wish that another desperate housewife would marry Sidney Crosby so that someone in America would pay attention to the NHL.
7. Another shot at the Tour De France for Floyd Landis. He doesn’t have enough testosterone to grow a decent goatee much less cheat at a bicycle race.
6. In an effort to reduce the number of violent incidents involving youth sports parents, I would like to see a law banning parents from coaching or attending their own children’s sporting events until the children are in college.
5. A successful fashion design career for the Williams sisters. Their outfits have looked better on the court than they have the past couple years.
4. I wish Congress would pass a law banning soccer in the United States. We’ve been told for 20 years that because the rest of the world likes soccer that we should. As our mothers’ all said, if our friend jumped off a bridge does that mean that we should do it too?
3. A happy and healthy retirement for Barry Bonds…as soon as possible.
2. A Hubble Space Telescope for Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens. With a view from outer space he might be able to see that he’s not the center of the universe.
1. I would like to see the current BCS system of choosing a college football champ to continue indefinitely. If there were a playoff with a definitive winner every year our water cooler debates, talk radio shows and favorite sports columns would be empty. Long live the BCS!
Here is what he had to say: Link As you can see from the date on the page, he felt that bashing me was important enough to leave it up on his page for over a week. Here is the best part. In over a week, he only got one comment on his blog, mine.
MERRY X-MAS Phil!!
a) your piece kicks ass>b) this devo schmuck is a moron>c) while soccer is a rite of passage for the kiddies to play, it’s never going to catch on in terms of being a spectator sport. americans are too arrogant to adopt something we didn’t invent. plus, it’s boring. 😉>>merry christmas, phil!
You piece made me smile, even though I missed most of the sporting references. I think that DeVeronica guy missed the bus (I misspell his name cause I know if he sees it, he’ll be annoyed).
hey stranger..MERRY XMAS TO YOU AND YOUR WIFE AND ALSO TYE VERY BEST IN THE NEW YEAR…
Thanks G-Man, you too. Long time, no see.>>Say Rah!- Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.>>Dzeni- Well thanks for going to the time to read both. I knew when I posted my piece here that many of the sports references would be lost on some people. I just thought it was hysterical that a so called professional sports writer would go nuts over a joke I made. He really needs to get a sense of humor.>>Fancy Face- Thank you and I hope you and your family are having a great Christmas as well.
you are not funny
Happy Christmas! and I love soccer :P, but your piece still rocked!
oh phil you sure showed him.> he seems like kind of a wiener
Sports parents who are obsessed with their kids being #1 should be sent to jail for robbing sports of fun and robbing their kids of the joy of just playing.>>-N
<>Phil<>,>>I like the fact that soccer can still evoke such a furor in the hearts and minds of grown men =) Thanks for sharing the link to el divo.>>Here in the tropics, soccer is very much a big deal although I much prefer the sport of basketball myself. >>All the best to you and yours for a peaceful, prosperous and healthy 2007!>>Peace, love and joy~>Enid
well, unlike anonymous, i think you ARE funny. i followed your link from belizegial’s site, and then went to deveronica’s site. what some good humor for the day. continue to enjoy your holidays.>>peace & blessings,>sylvia
only you would start an international debate about soccer!
The guy is obviously a bit of a tool. I don’t think he understands that football isn’t meant to have 23-15 scorelines, that a 0-0 draw is as much a part of the sport as a 4-0 win. I want his job – I could do it better!
You really tweaked that guy. Nice job. I came up with a reply worthy of his inlellect and sense of humor. ” I know you are, but what am I?” Feel free to use it.
Great job, Phil! God, what a big ass crybaby!