Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? I am, and it’s pissing me off. I live in upstate New York. I was fine with things in general until about two days ago. Then winter arrived. A friend accused me of being a “grouch” for not enjoying this sudden turn of events. This person romanticized the winter weather, espousing the joys of making snow angels, frolicking in the snow and holding mittened hands with a loved one. That is exactly how they do it on T.V. isn’t it? It does look fun in all those romantic comedies when the smitten couple builds a snowman together and then has the flirtatious snowball fight. Unfortunately, the winter the rest of us are stuck frolicking in is not in a warm studio where teamsters sprinkle dry, cottony snow on us from the rafters. The real life winter is damned cold. I’m pretty sure that if I’d ever hit one of my dates in the face with a snowball she would probably call the police on me and sex would definitely be out. At least on that date. Don’t get me wrong, I may be a grouch about the cold, but I am not a Scrooge about the holidays. I love the holidays, except for…..
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor. thephilfactor.com
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