The Brazilian Dictator Lift

Honestly, the word Dictator in the title could easily be replaced with “Butt” and I doubt few would argue, although Muammar might have me shot. News broke this week that a Brazilian cosmetic surgeon admitted that in 1995 he performed liposuction on the then 53 year old Muammar Qaddafi and then injected the fat into Qaddafi’s face to remove wrinkles. He also reported that he had given the Libyan dictator hairplugs as well because at the time Qaddafi was concerned that “the young people of his nation would see him as an old man.” 

Muammar, Muammar, Muammar, I am ashamed to think of you as a dictator. This insecurity is not becoming of a man of your station. Why when I was a young boy dictators didn’t give a hoot what their constituents thought of them. You should be embarrassed Muammar. You’re a dictator! Act like one! You’re not a reality show contestant. You’re a dictator! You make the rules. Nobody votes you off the island. And if they try to, just have them shot. You think Fidel Castro cares what people think. He might even be dead. We don’t know and neither do the Cubans. If he wanted us to know he’d tell us. You’re a freaking DICTATOR ! There is no election coming up. Who cares how old anyone thinks you are? Who cares what the young people think? 

And dude, seriously, you have to call that surgeon up and demand your money back, or take his family hostage or something. His work did not hold up. Your head looks like a prune. And those hair plugs? Really? Chicks totally know when you’ve had it done. And not a single gray hair? Really? 69 years old and you’re still rockin’ the Just For Men? At least let a few gray hairs mix in there. You are totally missing the boat on all the bad girls with Daddy issues. Or, just shave the whole damn thing and tell them you’d grow it out if you wanted to. And that turban? Really?!!? What is it with you dicatators and hats? It’s like 106 degrees in the winter in Libya. At least go with a visor. That turban must make your head sweat like a sonofabitch. It’s like you have the same P.R. team as Charlie Sheen. No wonder we’re bombing the hell out of your tiny country. 

7 responses to “The Brazilian Dictator Lift

  1. Now that's the kind of sermon we need to get us all jazzed up on this lovely Saturday morn.

    Caring what others think of us puts way too much power in their hands and makes our happiness dependent on them. It's a certain recipe for all kinds of dysfunction.

  2. LMAO! Too funny…of course I won't diss on plastic surgery anyway…glass house and what not! 😉

    Happy Saturday!

  3. Thomas- It is weird. I think dictators would have very little wory what others thought.

    Boobies- As long as you don't become a tyrannical dictator I have no problem with any renovations you may have had done.

  4. Haha, I beg to differ if I may.

    Dictators are veeeery insecure about their appearance. That's why Andy Warhol painted Mao Zedong's lips ruby red. And why Fidel is the poster boy for Adidas ( 🙂

    Take a gander at this and count those who die their hair!

    Gaddafi (or Qaddafi, whatever) was just too cheap. You get what you pay for.

  5. LMAO Chris! You are the Queen of research!

  6. *gasps for air* LMAO you just go on with your bad self!

  7. Thanks Raven : )

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