Pic from CowboyState Daily.com
Aren’t those baby wolves just adorable? They look like cute little dogs. And I’m sure they’ll be adorable right up until one of them tears someone’s throat out. It’s those mad scientists at Colossal (as in “colossal mistake”) that keep trying to bring back extinct species.
Well, Phil, tell me why bringing back cute dogs is such a big mistake?” I know that a few of you were just thinking that. Ok, thanks for asking. I’ll tell you. Dire wolves used to live on planet Earth with humans. Although they likely didn’t live with humans. Dire wolves were the largest and most aggressive of all wolf species. That is why they were featured on Game of Thrones. It is also why humans killed them out of existence.
Pic from CNN
You know why they were called “dire” wolves? Because if something is dire, that means it’s bad. Really bad. And yet, some jubilant scientist at Colossal said, “I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong!”
How could it not go wrong?!!? How could it not not go wrong? They are reintroducing an apex predator into the food chain. And these cute dogs will want to be at the top of that food chain.
To be fair, they only introduced ten dire wolf genes into some normal wolf sperm or egg, so those cute pups may have to breed a few generations until they’re ready to start taking down humans regularly. If one of those tries to mate with my dog, I’m going to be pissed, right up until a cute puppy tears my throat out. Mark my words, this may be the beginning of the “end times.”
Have a great Thursday! ~Phil
