Me and Tom Cruise

Posted on June 21, 2005 | 3 Comments

Due to how famous I’ve become by writing stuff on any website that will have me, I was being interviewed the other day when someone squirted me with water. I immediately became enraged and then decided to marry a girl who still wears a retainer. Tom Cruise and I were born in the same city, Syracuse, N.Y., so I’m pretty sure we were switched at birth and he has stolen my life. His marriage to Nicole Kidman? Should have been mine. Dating Penelope Cruz? Mine too. Engaged to Katie Holmes? Should be mine. Talk about identity theft! I’m thinking of suing. If Tom knew I had his life I’m sure he’d want it back.

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3 responses to “Me and Tom Cruise”

  1. Michelle | June 23, 2005 at 1:40 am | Reply

    Naah, stay who you are Phil, Cruise is over rated :o)

  2. No_Newz | June 24, 2005 at 4:01 pm | Reply

    I’m glad you guys switched because that guy went from HOT to NOT and HERO to ZERO and STUDLEY DUDLEY to DIRTY OLD MAN in like 2.2 seconds after he became engaged to Katie Holmes. YUCK!Lois Lane

  3. Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) | June 26, 2005 at 2:09 pm | Reply

    Dr.Phil…switching channels, pullleeeze don’t tell us you danced “Risky Business….” 😉

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