I wonder, at what point in your life you stop being cool? Some people never achieve “cool.” Of course, if you’re reading my blog you obviously qualify as cool. If you are reading my blog, I obviously qualify as cool too. Most of us at some point in our lives figure we’re pretty cool, and very often others think we are too. Some people have cool only briefly, like Pee Wee Herman and the Spice Girls, while others maintain it forever, like Sean Connery and The Beatles. In recent weeks I have been informed by my 12, almost 13 year old son, that I am not “cool.” There was a time he considered everything I did “cool.” How dare he say I’m not cool! This is coming from a small person who can’t drive, who doesn’t have a credit card, who’s never had sex, and who, until today, did not even have a cell phone. No offense to my son, but he is so not cool. He has no idea. To him, the epitome of cool is having an earring and a bitchin’ skateboard with flame decals on it. (He would be so embarrassed that I described his skateboard as “bitchin'” I don’t really use that word either, unless I’m making a joke, which he also hates me doing) I’m mean really, in the guy way of keeping score, I totally rule over him. I have done so many cool things that he is years away from approaching. C’mon, I’ve had sex. He can’t even say I’m lying about that. He is my proof. Really, to a 13 year old, what could be cooler than sex? Of course, being a good Dad, I won’t throw that in his face. If we played the Kevin Bacon game I could connect myself to so many famous people it would make his head spin! Has he ever met any famous people? I’m drinking a beer right now. Just because I can. The next time he drinks a beer will be his first and it will probably be a huge deal. To me it’s nothing. HA HA HA! The only reason that little punk has any cool concert t-shirts is because I go to the concerts and buy them for him! If he says I’m not cool one more time I’m grounding him! How’s that for cool? Let’s see the little man enjoy his cool in his room until tomorrow! You all think I’m cool, right? Right? Uh… hello? Is anyone there?
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor. thephilfactor.com
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What happened to your vacation?>>Please tell us what words he used to get you to buy him a cell phone, so we can chortle at your vulnerability to his machinations.>>Truly cool people would answer those two. 😀
Esbee, First, I made my son save his allowance money, at $5/wk, until he could buy his phone. Second, I went on vacation for two days and I’m leaving again for two days today. Thanks for checking in though. Happy now?
Well, i was going to ask about the cel but was trumped!>Phil, i bet your cooler than “mini phil” will admit. I remember (kind of) when i was 13, no adult was cool!
Indeed I am happy now and can say authoritatively, “Phil, you are <>cool<>.”>>Have fun on your vacation, Part Deux. You had said you wouldn’t be blogging until Sunday, so I was surprised to see a post from you before that.>>And when I was 13, I thought my parents raving idiots (and they are both quite intelligent), so I’d probably take uncool as a compliment meaning “smart” if it were directed at me. 😀
fill, missed a great fest. folks were asking “where’s fill?” maybe next year you can send your cool son. better yet, come with him. scott brought his cool son this year…>>i need more cool friends.
Well…cool is a relative terms right?…What’s cool to people that are 13, is fucking STUPID to me, because i’m almost 28….wearing pants…around your ass, and your hat sideways, acting like a thug…is not cool. Not to me anyway…but drinking martinis until 2am on a patio is wonderful.>>I dont care what those kids out there who have something called a “Baby Mama” at the age of 15, think of me….
my parents get “cooler” every year I get older.
You’re blog truly made me LOL! What a hoot! thanks, since i can’t sleep right now, i might as well be sitting in the dark laughing, right?
Hahaha that was great. >>When i was growing up i didn’t think my perents were cool either(and i still don’t), but i remember thinking that most of my friends perents were cool, well slightly more cooler than mine anyway. 🙂>>To tell the truth i didn’t even want to be called cool in school cos most of the ‘cool’ kids were the idiots, bullies and people with really no hope of becoming anything remotely successful in life.
As the author Mark Twain once said, “When I was 18 I couldn’t believe how stupid my parents were. By the time I was 21 I couldn’t believe how much they had learned.” I guess I’ll have to wait about 10 years before I’m cool again. Or should I get my tongue pierced now?
Wait until he has kids of his own.>>That cemented how incredibly wise my mother, especially, was. You have no idea how hard it is to be a parent until you are one.