A Three Hour Tour, A Three Hour Tour..

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip, that started from this Minnesota port aboard two tiny ships. Ironically the Minnesota Vikings football team “pleasure” cruise on Lake Minnetonka was scheduled for a three hour tour. Sadly the Vikings football players could have used some Viagra because their boat ride only lasted 40 minutes. But it was not because the weather started getting rough and the tiny ships were tossed. In this case there was also no fearless crew either. The crew turned the ships around and returned to port because they were fearful of being impaled by a Viking spear. In the business world my company will often organize office retreats or team building exercises. This is apparently what Fred Smoot was trying to do for his team. With the Vikings team falling apart on the field Smoot decided that the guys need a morale booster on their week off. So he and others hired two boats and 20 entertainment “professionals” for a boat “ride.” I wonder how many of them were named Ginger and Mary Ann? Or at least claimed to be. I wonder if Onterrio Smith brought his Whizzinator to impress the ladies? (Reference May 11 “Gee Whiz” post)

It never ceases to amaze me that young men who are paid to millions of dollars to play a game continue to find new and ridiculous ways to embarrass themselves. Whether it’s gambling, hookers, steroids, illegal drugs, or domestic violence these guys just can’t seem to stop finding ways to piss away (sorry, Onterrio Smith reference) what most of us would do for a tenth of what they get paid. We’re paying money to play fantasy sports at what these morons get paid millions to do and they can’t stop finding ways to screw it up. They say money can’t buy you happiness. I believe money can buy you happiness, but as the professional athletes keep reminding us, it sure doesn’t buy you brains.

7 responses to “A Three Hour Tour, A Three Hour Tour..

  1. Maybe i’m more stupid than I thought, but I dont get what happened….they hired strippers?? And the boat was turned around because of that?

  2. Princess- The “professionals” were not just strippers and they and the players engaged in sexual acts in the open on the ship. The players also accosted the female members of the ship offering them money for sex acts. I guess I should have been more explicit in the post. Maybe I’ll go back and add more pertinent info.

  3. What morons! But who ever said you had to be a smart to be an athlete. You just have to be big and stupid.

  4. What morons! But who ever said you had to be a smart to be an athlete. You just have to be big and stupid.

  5. Very well said! I heard about that and was really disappointed. Remember when it was cool to be a kid and have athletes as your role models? I’m glad my son is not into proffesional sports (other than NASCAR).

  6. Classy guys yes?Sad stuff.

  7. Please ignore the fact that I’m from Minnesota.

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