This week People magazine announced their Sexiest Man Alive for 2005. It was not me. Again. I think it was Jude Law, but I’m not sure. It was some random movie star looking guy with about a two day stubble growing on his face. When I saw the title and it didn’t have my picture beneath it I just walked by without giving it a second look. How can People magazine claim that this guy is the Sexiest Man Alive? Claiming that this guy is the Sexiest Man Alive implies that they consider every living man on the planet before making this decision. Maybe my questionnaire got lost in the mail or something, but I distinctly do not recall being contacted by People magazine over the past 12 months. Stuff like this is so unfair.
When they elected the new Pope last spring I didn’t even get a whiff of consideration for the job. Just because I’m not some ass-kissing Cardinal in the Cathlic church I wasn’t even given a second interview. Despite my two write-in votes. I dropped them off at my local church. They promised they’d Fed Ex them to the Vatican for me. Maybe they didn’t hear me say that they absolutely, positively had to be there overnight. When the new U.S. Supreme Court Justice was nominated and approved by Congress, again I was ignored. Despite my two write in votes. My local congressman’s office assured me that my self-nomination would be forwarded to the President immediately. When nominating a Supreme Court Justice don’t they always talk about decisions he’s written about in the past. About the positions the nominee has taken on certain key issues? Don’t these people read my blog? Have I not made muy positions on just about everything clear over the past 8 months?
Not getting elected as Sexiest Man Alive really burns me though! I may actually sue People Magazine over this snub. I may not appear in movies or on television, but I’ve got a blog! I’ve even added a picture of myself to the profile to aid my candidacy. I’m starting my New Years resolution now and I am formally announcing my candidacy for 2006. People Magazine, are you listening?